40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Commissar of love**

You get a battery on a stick

I insert a 2lb bag of blood

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get some cookies and a glass of orange juice.

I insert an African Spurred Tortoise.

**korbenn**

You get a Mexican Staring frog from Southern Shri-Lanka.

I insert a Wolfen Sacred Vestal.

**Fervor**

You receive a lifetime subscription to all of the best dog grooming magazines.

I insert the Saw Cleaver from Bloodborne.

**snurl**

You get June Cleaver from TV.

I insert A mummy.

**Fervor**

You receive a daddy.

I insert a block of marble.

**korbenn**

You get an ancient curse.

I insert a piece of pure warpstone at least 2 kilos in weight.

**EmberlordofFire8**

You get a house call from the narcotics squad.

I insert the Eight I'd-Really-Rather-You-Didn'ts

**snurl**

You get reruns of Eight is Enough.

I insert a Tomahawk missile.

**KINGPIN54**

You get blown away by what you get.

I insert a pot of dry paint.

**korbenn**

You get a bowl of pigment dust.

I insert suitcase full of unmarked $20 dollar bills.

**KINGPIN54**

You get a whole bunch of 2 dollar store vouchers.

I insert a stray cat

**Commissar of love**

You get stitches

I insert a primed hand Granade and a bird

**ZergSmasher**

You get Deadpool flipping you the bird!

I insert some angry birds.

**korbenn**

You get Hitchcock"s The Birds. As in the actual angry murder-you-on-sight birds. Enjoy the rest of your life as a shut in.

I insert the special effects from Birdemic.

**snurl**

You get the special effects from Plan Nine from Outer Space.

I insert my work schedule.

**Commissar of love**

You get laid off

**ZergSmasher**

You forgot to insert anything into the machine and therefore get a fish slap.

I insert some Pokemon cards.

**snurl**

You get Magic Cards.

I insert my poor dead cat.

**korbenn**

You get a Grey Seer.

I insert a Deathwatch Space Marine, a Stormvermin and a Tau Firewarrior.

**snurl**

You get an epic Happy Meal promotion.

I insert an unpainted miniature.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a warmahordes game.

I insert a an empty coke can.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Drop Pod model.

I insert a Stormtrooper (from Star Wars, not Imperial Guard).

**CIRO**

You get a one way ticket to Daccau Concentration Camp, the ticket if from the 1940's, it's not 1940, you wonder if the trains are even still running.

I insert, a pair of wearable cat ears.

**korbenn**

You get a Clown mask.

I insert a box of grease paint.

**snurl**

You get a multi million dollar Halloween Attraction.

I insert a used water heater.

**korbenn**

You get a leaky boiler blessed by the Omnissiah.

I insert a vial of the Black Oil Virus.

**CIRO**

You get a letter from BP Denying all responsibility.

I insert a Mommy and a Daddy.

**snurl**

You get a permission slip.

I insert chicken nuggets.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get pink slurry.

I insert a breath mint.