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Cryonicleech wrote:Two guys got in a fight over FNP and a squad of Chaos Marines.

One guy said since his gun was AP 3 it didn't allow his armor so he got no FNP. The other guy retorted that this only applies to CC weapons and suitably insulted him. A fight then broke out and both had bruises. Both were brought outside and were told to finish their game on the sidewalk if they wanted to play.

The hilarious part is that they are both wrong.

HEY coal isnt nothing! It makes my steaks taste SO DAMN GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

KingCracker wrote:HEY coal isnt nothing! It makes my steaks taste SO DAMN GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

You BBQ with COAL? Are you Nuts? You are meant to BBQ with Charcoal.

Cryonicleech wrote:

Sarge wrote:

stonefox wrote:I was playing a game with a friend at the warhams store. Then a girl walked in.

I see your "girl" and a raise you a stripper with a Necron Army. It was not pink.

Really? wow.......I think I know who wins the "Most Awkward" Award.

@Gwar: Your correct, I never did specifically say it was a girl. I did however assume you'd all come to the conclusion in context of the statement.

@Cryonicleech: It was not an akward game at all. I just had to sit down for most of the game. But atleast I'd seen boobies before, the guy she played after me never looked at the board once. Poor guy.

Tactical warfare by the stripper.

the geeky chatup line could be 'I hope you paid the points to take that boobtube wargear hehe'

Awkward gaming moments:

1-First few times I walk into any gaming store
*"Excuse me ma'am, are you here for your son?"
*"The salon is 2 doors down."
*"Can I help you find anything?"(when the shop is like 12ft square)

2-When I show up to a shop for a tournament: (girls are not deaf or hard of hearing)
I wont list the specific things said, but they range from vulgar, to 'sweet, a chick, theres an easy win'

More exact awkward moments, I should preface Im not the meek quiet sort. I worked in a super max prison for almost 10 years. After that its unlikely a gamer could say something I find genuinely offensive, but they better expect it to work both ways.

At a small tourney a few years ago I showed up at a store tourney. I had never played at this store, and didnt know any of the regulars there. So the guy during the first round had his son there with him, kid was maybe 10. And ole dad starts off with 'Well son, hopefully I can still show you how ot play today. Girls are good at painting but dont know how to fight. So this will be too easy. Maybe the next game will work better."

3 turns later, my night lords were mostly twiddling their thumbs, as this guy danced around me with his blood angels after I picked off his dreads, pred, and min/maxed scouts. Finally, on the last turn he tries to charge my lord with his DC & chaplain, but pulled an inch short. I shot them up, with 3 squads, and finished it off with my lord in assault. My total loss was 8 CSM's.

Dad was pissed, slappin rule books around, rollin his eyes with the big sighs. The whole time his kid was pretty quiet. And then says 'Dad, I want her to teach me to play, she kicked your butt!' O.o Awkward silence...

So I tell the kid "Your dad was being nice and let me win. But its ok to beat girls if its just a game, so tell him not to be so nice next time." Dad was turning red, like he was ready to pop an o-ring or something. Made me sad he was so focused on the WAAC that he didnt even realise I kept him from looking like a slow in front of his kid.

^ You rock!

Deffo, and finally a story that is well writen, awkward gaming moments for me recently include, my first game with the new guard codex against a player with the demons codex, i completely whipped him so he forfited 1 turn from the end, then would'nt admit that i had beaten him, shocking...

Mistress of minis wrote:
...words...

Hey. I like that Avatar. She's cute. Is that you?
If so, can I get your phone number?

Eric


(Come on, people. Lighten up. It's a joke. I bet "the chick" laughed.)
: )

Railguns wrote:

Cryonicleech wrote:Two guys got in a fight over FNP and a squad of Chaos Marines.

One guy said since his gun was AP 3 it didn't allow his armor so he got no FNP. The other guy retorted that this only applies to CC weapons and suitably insulted him. A fight then broke out and both had bruises. Both were brought outside and were told to finish their game on the sidewalk if they wanted to play.

The hilarious part is that they are both wrong.

Exactly. Seven people told him it was AP 2, But neither of them were paying attention.


Ahhh Irony. How I love they sweet embrace.

Mistress of minis wrote:So I tell the kid "Your dad was being nice and let me win. But its ok to beat girls if its just a game, so tell him not to be so nice next time." Dad was turning red, like he was ready to pop an o-ring or something. Made me sad he was so focused on the WAAC that he didnt even realise I kept him from looking like a slow in front of his kid.

Well played...all around!

Mistress of minis wrote:Awkward gaming moments:

1-First few times I walk into any gaming store
*"Excuse me ma'am, are you here for your son?"
*"The salon is 2 doors down."
*"Can I help you find anything?"(when the shop is like 12ft square)

2-When I show up to a shop for a tournament: (girls are not deaf or hard of hearing)
I wont list the specific things said, but they range from vulgar, to 'sweet, a chick, theres an easy win'

More exact awkward moments, I should preface Im not the meek quiet sort. I worked in a super max prison for almost 10 years. After that its unlikely a gamer could say something I find genuinely offensive, but they better expect it to work both ways.

At a small tourney a few years ago I showed up at a store tourney. I had never played at this store, and didnt know any of the regulars there. So the guy during the first round had his son there with him, kid was maybe 10. And ole dad starts off with 'Well son, hopefully I can still show you how ot play today. Girls are good at painting but dont know how to fight. So this will be too easy. Maybe the next game will work better."

3 turns later, my night lords were mostly twiddling their thumbs, as this guy danced around me with his blood angels after I picked off his dreads, pred, and min/maxed scouts. Finally, on the last turn he tries to charge my lord with his DC & chaplain, but pulled an inch short. I shot them up, with 3 squads, and finished it off with my lord in assault. My total loss was 8 CSM's.

Dad was pissed, slappin rule books around, rollin his eyes with the big sighs. The whole time his kid was pretty quiet. And then says 'Dad, I want her to teach me to play, she kicked your butt!' O.o Awkward silence...

So I tell the kid "Your dad was being nice and let me win. But its ok to beat girls if its just a game, so tell him not to be so nice next time." Dad was turning red, like he was ready to pop an o-ring or something. Made me sad he was so focused on the WAAC that he didnt even realise I kept him from looking like a slow in front of his kid.

I really don't see the point of all this gender discrimination. Jesus, you lost a game. Be a Fething man and move on.

I've seen a kid throw a tantrum for a good half and hour when he lost at Guitar Hero.

/sigh

When I was a kid I would get pissed off at Super Mario Bros. My mom would turn off the NES and tell me to outside. Too bad we can't have a token "Mom" in each game store to send the kids (or kid-like adults) outside when they start throwing a fit.

barlio wrote:When I was a kid I would get pissed off at Super Mario Bros. My mom would turn off the NES and tell me to outside. Too bad we can't have a token "Mom" in each game store to send the kids (or kid-like adults) outside when they start throwing a fit.

90% have tits big enough to pretend to be mom

The mental picture of moobies just knocked me out of my chair.

Cryonicleech wrote:you lost a game.

I just lost the game! Dammit!

Mistress of Mini's...
I just have to say kudos to you!
I don't know if I could have resisted rubbing the kids loss in the dads face. (But here parents don't seem to get involved). Anyway, that took a lot of guts/self-control and proved that you were the better wo/man.

Magickal/Eric, my phone # is 1-900-555-1234 only 4.99 a minute, but I might cut a 20% Daaka discount ^_^

And Gwar is probly right about the 90% ratio. In a game store filled with the avg gamer mine are smaller....some day I'll get them converted from Rhino to Land Raider.


Which brings up another moment in awkward gaming.

A big RTT style tourney, wall to wall nerdism. I end up playing a nice, but rather large fellow. Hes playing cheese 3rd ed chaos with atrocious tuna can defilers(yes seriously). Im runnin my Dark Eldar swarm of 120 warriors on foot (was sick in 3ed). So, as the game ends and we're rounding up figs I notice Im a warrior short and start looking for it. My opponent sits down and starts complaining about his bad circulation and how standing for long periods makes them hurt.

After searching for a few minutes the kid at the next table says 'I found him!' and points at my opponents flip flop on the floor.

The guy looks at his flip flop and takes it off....the now bitz worthy DE warrior firmly embedded in the bottom. And his bayonet poking through the flip flop. Fat guy "Well jeeze, no wonder my foot hurt..."

Only thing I could say "Guess he made his death or glory check."

Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

Gwar! wrote:Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

Did you notice when she mentioned her Night Warriors earlier

I've played a lady gamer who plays Eldar and Nurgle Daemons as well, so stop stereotyping!

willydstyle wrote:

Gwar! wrote:Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

Did you notice when she mentioned her Night Warriors earlier

I've played a lady gamer who plays Eldar and Nurgle Daemons as well, so stop stereotyping!

Shush! I am the Stereotypical Nerd, so I can be as Stereotypical as I damn well want

lol I have 23 armies at the moment.

24 if you cant hte whfb lizards Ive done nothin with...

Gwar! wrote:Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

Wood Elves, Lizards, Savage Orcs & Tzeentch Daemons for Fantasy

Tau, IG, Orks, Grey Knights, and Iron Warriors for 40k

Cyporiean wrote:

Gwar! wrote:Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

Wood Elves, Lizards, Savage Orcs & Tzeentch Daemons for Fantasy

Tau, IG, Orks, Grey Knights, and Iron Warriors for 40k

Gwar! is so wrong

Glad to see I can still Troll as well as I did in my Youth

Gwar! wrote:Glad to see I can still Troll as well as I did in my Youth

Psssh, I don't think anyone's actually angry yet, so you have not succeeded.

willydstyle wrote:

Gwar! wrote:Glad to see I can still Troll as well as I did in my Youth

Psssh, I don't think anyone's actually angry yet, so you have not succeeded.

Well I wanted to stop it before everyone started PMSing all over the place </Troll>

Gwar! wrote:Well I wanted to stop it before everyone started PMSing all over the place </Troll>

Gwar, dont worry hun, I'll carry my Banner of Khorne when that happens.

Which, brings up another tourney tale.

I got stuck playing a TFG with a khorne army. Ya know the type, a pre-pubescent 40 yo that likes the big events so he can scream Waaaaaaaaaaaggghhhh and not look slowed?

Ya, that guy. This one also would shout 'Blood for the blood god!!' everytime he rolled dice for just about anything.

So, by turn three, my migraines flaring from this shouting lunatic. Polite requests to yell elsewhere just seemed to egg him on.

So he took a bathroom break. And I was diggin through my purse for some ibuprofen. Not worrying about the bystanders, I was emptying my purse out to accomplish my search.

One of the guys freinds came over 'Im sorry hes being such a slow. Hes like that when hes sober. Can I borrow that?' and he pointed to the tampax in the pile of my purse junk.

Sorta dubious I ask "Umm what for?"

"An on the spot conversion and photo opportunity"

So, being amused by the novelty of a guy that wasnt afraid of a tampax in its wrapper I gave it to him.

He propped it in the claws of his buddies khornate dread, label out. And whipped up a lil speech bubble sign "Rawr!! Blud 4 the blud....omfg....noooooo not the Tampax god!"

So, the khorne loonie comes out of the bathroom and sees his army getting pics taken by like 20 people. He looked at me, looked at the sign- and looked at his freind. Flipped him the bird. And we kept playing.

Ever since that day Ive considered modifying a nerf dart gun to shoot lil tampax at the screamin retards until they shut up.

Mistress of minis wrote:

Gwar! wrote:Well I wanted to stop it before everyone started PMSing all over the place </Troll>

Gwar, dont worry hun, I'll carry my Banner of Khorne when that happens.

Which, brings up another tourney tale.

I got stuck playing a TFG with a khorne army. Ya know the type, a pre-pubescent 40 yo that likes the big events so he can scream Waaaaaaaaaaaggghhhh and not look slowed?

Ya, that guy. This one also would shout 'Blood for the blood god!!' everytime he rolled dice for just about anything.

So, by turn three, my migraines flaring from this shouting lunatic. Polite requests to yell elsewhere just seemed to egg him on.

So he took a bathroom break. And I was diggin through my purse for some ibuprofen. Not worrying about the bystanders, I was emptying my purse out to accomplish my search.

One of the guys freinds came over 'Im sorry hes being such a slow. Hes like that when hes sober. Can I borrow that?' and he pointed to the tampax in the pile of my purse junk.

Sorta dubious I ask "Umm what for?"

"An on the spot conversion and photo opportunity"

So, being amused by the novelty of a guy that wasnt afraid of a tampax in its wrapper I gave it to him.

He propped it in the claws of his buddies khornate dread, label out. And whipped up a lil speech bubble sign "Rawr!! Blud 4 the blud....omfg....noooooo not the Tampax god!"

So, the khorne loonie comes out of the bathroom and sees his army getting pics taken by like 20 people. He looked at me, looked at the sign- and looked at his freind. Flipped him the bird. And we kept playing.

Ever since that day Ive considered modifying a nerf dart gun to shoot lil tampax at the screamin retards until they shut up.

Best

story

Evar!

I laughed.... I cried... I peed my pants a little...


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Gwar! wrote:Why is it women always seem to either Play Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Emperors Children or Sisters of Battle.

Seriously I have known like 8 or 9 and they all play one or more of that list of armies, nothing more.

I think I'm hanging around with some odd women (>.<')

My GF <3 Necrons... My friend Kara has eldar.... and my friend jackie has wood elves... My friend Brittney has like 6 armies she is painting but loves Khorne

lol, again M of M's you suceed in impressing me. I know guys that would punch people for breaking ANY of thier models and the fact that you managed to deal with a screaming freak for so long makes me wonder if you actually have emotions? Or are you like the hulk and you let it all out later in a green explosion of facepalms?

Anyway, I will try to follow your patient example. But I don't know if I can! LOL, again...