Things You Will Never Hear in a Game of 40k

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**Painbiro**

Feel free to add to the list!

1. My Imperator Titan gets a cover save.
2. Sisters of Battle are overpowered.
3. Could you run 9 Vendettas next game?
4. As a Green Tide player, I find my movement phase enjoyable.

**Somedude593**

As a guard player i find that i dont need cover... that 5+ save really helps!

**DontEatRawHagis**

You brought enough dakka.

**TheCustomLime**

"Sir, I must ask you to remove your knife from my chest".

"Need a dispenser here!".

"I think orphaned babies should be ground up and sold as bath salts to the poor".

"I played Skyrim yesterday and I totally stopped Halo from firing".

"You know what I like? Noodle coffee".

"I really wish they made more sequels to Fat Albert, the movie".

"Hey butthead, hehehehehe, pull my finger".

"Bart Simpson should really adjust the purple level in his marker".

"I just finished running 100 miles around your mother!".

"You're an atheist? I believe in an all knowing cheese god, I'll have you know!".

I was going to make jokes about painted armies/GW prices/dice but I decided to write things that really wouldn't be heard during a game of 40k.

**Necroshea**

No it's cool, I believe it scattered in the direction you said it did.

**Savageconvoy**

Wow. I can't believe all three vendettas got blown up and took out their troops in the crash before dealing any damage.

**SoloFalcon1138**

My girlfriend...

that's it.

**hotsauceman1**

Necrons are good in close combat....

**haroon**

Price decrease.

**SoloFalcon1138**

"I play for fun"

**Eldercaveman**

Its ok, I like Stilton, bring the strongest cheese you can.

**FredTheEvilKitteh**

"I'm just going to let you assault me without overwatching."

**Dannyevilguy**

And that's how I met your mother.

**Eldercaveman**

'My ork hits on 2's'

**Jimsolo**

"So my Fire Warriors win that round of combat. Are you fearless or do you need a leadership check?"

"My, what a balanced and enjoyable game that was. I'd like to play against your Tyranid army again sometime."

**thenoobbomb**

SoloFalcon1138 wrote:
My girlfriend...

that's it.

I heard that once.
Magic!

**Tod**

Im running a dragowing with no termies!!!!!!!!!

**tvih**

"This game isn't random enough."

**Panzer1944**

"I don't need to upgrade. Lasguns are all I need."

**LooT**

"If you look closely enough, you can see that all of my lasguns are twin-linked..... see, I modelled flashlights on their bayonet lugs."

**Sarigar**

This is a cheap game to get into...

6th is such an improvement...

I play 40K becuase its rules mechanics are much tighter than other miniature game systems...

**Thorgrim Bloodcrow**

"HA! I knew I could out gun your Guard army with my Orks!"

"Anybody want to order some food? I'm buying."

"No I don't mind you picking up the dice that hit instead of missed."

"Hey my girlfriend has a bunch of hot friends who think 40K is a huge turn on!"

**FredTheEvilKitteh**

Thorgrim Bloodcrow wrote:

"Hey my girlfriend has a bunch of hot friends who think 40K is a huge turn on!"

Oh my god. This.

**Wandre**

"Let's NOT listen to Metal"

**Snrub**

TheCustomLime wrote:
"You're an atheist? I believe in an all knowing cheese god, I'll have you know!".

This is now my religion. All hail the mighty cheesus.

**CaptainGrey**

"Hey there son, I'm from ESPN. How'd you like to play Warhammer professionally for millions of dollars?"

"The LGS bathroom smells great!"

"I sure love playing against Gunline Guard"

"I sure love playing against Elysian Guard"

"I sure love playing against Parking-lot Guard"

"My girlfriend got me into 40k."

"My girlfriend loved the Thunderhawk I bought her for her Birthday."

and last but not least, the one I'm still hoping for:

"Hi, I'm Taylor Swift. You're strikingly handsome, and an excellent 40k General. Marry me and be the subject of one of my Albums."

-CaptainGrey

**Selym**

Well, that was a very smooth and balanced game of Daemons vs Grey Knights, the Daemons won, and with not a whiff of cheese in the air!

**Kangodo**

"Awesome, you're playing Necrons!"

Necroshea wrote:
No it's cool, I believe it scattered in the direction you said it did.

Aah yes, this! It's a real issue in our group.
The worst part was when they rolled a couple of plates away and "tried" to make it scatter east instead of north-direction.

I really want to start bringing this to our games: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2e/ARISTO-GEO_DREIECK_1550_indiziert_transparent.png
Just so I can point out how bad they are lying about their scatter.

**conker249**

Of course that large blast covers all 20 of my spaced apart battle sisters. Go ahead and roll for damage.

**Tod**

CaptainGrey wrote:
""The LGS bathroom smells great!"

At least your LGS has a bathroom. We have to walk a couple of streets to use one. And when the manager wants to go, he just chucks us out and locks the store for 5 minutes.