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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/14 19:50:07
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Darkvoidof40k wrote:
Dear his Holy Mightiness, the Most Beneficient and Beloved Emperor of Mankind,
Why in the name of your own throne did you let Horus do so much damage to you? He was quite clearly a complete son of a **** who liked to **** ** *** with his ***** while **** ** *********.
Furthermore, ******! And he killed Sanguinius - May his nipples rest in peace. Horus destroyed most of your empire, pretty much made it inevitable that humanity will be extinct in another few thousand years, AND killed one of your sons right infront of you. Yet you still didn't care enough to kill him on the spot. One lonely Guardsman who was a Terminator but not maybe, had to walk in and get eaten by Horus' hand before you cared enough to KILL HORUS. You let him turn your flesh into sludge and boil your blood, but you didn't kill him until one more soul was claimed by Horus.
Yours fumingly,
The Sanguinor.
Well, You see Mr. Sanguinor, I was... Have you ever heard of a hangover?
-The Emp.
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Dear Almighty Emperor,
Why don't you just rebuild your body into some cyborg, like General Grievous or something and not sit on that chair of yours,being all lazy like?!?!?!
Seriously, I'm working my ass of! We're in the 41 Millennium! We have that kind of medi-tech, ya know!
-anonymous
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Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/03/14 20:26:35
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Dear Almighty Emperor,
Why don't you just rebuild your body into some cyborg, like General Grievous or something and not sit on that chair of yours,being all lazy like?!?!?!
Seriously, I'm working my ass of! We're in the 41 Millennium! We have that kind of medi-tech, ya know!
-anonymous
Dear anonymous,
I am the Emperor. I go (no)where I please, do (nothing) as I please, and devour the souls of a thousand pyskers a day! You presume to order me? Pfschaw! Expect the storm troopers to be knocking on your door later tonight..
Hm. I also see you support the false deity known as "Bunny". You will most certainly be burned and crucified simultaneously.
Yours truly, The God Emperor of Everything he Pleases.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 18:38:02
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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La-la-la sitting on my chair, waiting for some questions, where are my questions? Where? WHERE! Ah wait... my Space Emperor Sense is tingling, I think I spy it now...
RandyMcStab wrote:
ZOMG
The Eldar has developed AV13! We're all doomed!!
First of all Ranolph Son of Stab of the Clan McStab you should always phrase things in the form of a question, this is ASK the Space Emperor, not TELL the Space Emperor. But I will forgive your impurtinance this once because there's nothing good on the TV.
To begin the Space Elfs or as you young folks like to call them the Elders have long had AV13 technology but have chosen not to use it in order to give us Humans a fair chance. This is much the same as why they send their untrained civilians out wearing armor made of wet cardboard and with guns that shoot about as far as we can throw a rock. The Space Elfs are a perverse race and we should not try to understand their humor.
So no, no we are not doomed because by the Treaty of Game Balance they may only use AV13 in Apocalypse battles, and when they do I shall simply wave my mighty hand and all Guardsmen shall become Sly Marbo. Let's see what those Space Elfs do when 250 Sly Marbos step out of the shadows, throw 250 demo charges and then charge to plant 250 melta bombs.
Yours
The E of S
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Whoa! Dude!
I just got my new Codex and it's like, even more RADICAL AWESOME than I thought! I'm like, 2 Wound Termi Troops with FNP and 3+ Shrouding save FTW! To the MAX!!!!!!!!!
And like those Dreadknights, WHOA! AWESOMLY EPIC EXTREME MAN! I can like put power armor in my power armor so I can like kill while I kill! Next we like need to get a WARLORD TITAN that like has a Dreadknight piloting it and a terminator piloting that! That would be RADICALLY AWESOMELY EPICALY EXTREME TO THE MAX!
So anyway, I got a question, how come Inquisitors suck so much? Oh wait, it's cause they ain't marines! HAW! Dumbass puny humans! I dunno why we even let them hang out with us.
Nah my real question is like, is the reason that I'm like so awesome and radical and kicking butt and taking names and rocking and rolling all up and down the warp, is it cause like I'm the only Grey Knight in Space History who had the good sense to buy a Storm Shield? Is that why? Cause like maybe some of the other guys should get ones too, they can take them from those Puny Human Crusader guys and then we can watch them cry like little girls.
Sorry man, I gotta go now, I gotta like carve my name in Angron's heart but the big wuss won't come out and fight me so I gotta kick down his door and like kill a million billion demons first. But catch you on the flip side yo!
Sincerely
Supreme Awesome Radical Grand Master of Awesomeness
Draigo
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/15 18:38:25
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 18:52:41
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Whoa! Dude!
I just got my new Codex and it's like, even more RADICAL AWESOME than I thought! I'm like, 2 Wound Termi Troops with FNP and 3+ Shrouding save FTW! To the MAX!!!!!!!!!
And like those Dreadknights, WHOA! AWESOMLY EPIC EXTREME MAN! I can like put power armor in my power armor so I can like kill while I kill! Next we like need to get a WARLORD TITAN that like has a Dreadknight piloting it and a terminator piloting that! That would be RADICALLY AWESOMELY EPICALY EXTREME TO THE MAX!
So anyway, I got a question, how come Inquisitors suck so much? Oh wait, it's cause they ain't marines! HAW! Dumbass puny humans! I dunno why we even let them hang out with us.
Nah my real question is like, is the reason that I'm like so awesome and radical and kicking butt and taking names and rocking and rolling all up and down the warp, is it cause like I'm the only Grey Knight in Space History who had the good sense to buy a Storm Shield? Is that why? Cause like maybe some of the other guys should get ones too, they can take them from those Puny Human Crusader guys and then we can watch them cry like little girls.
Sorry man, I gotta go now, I gotta like carve my name in Angron's heart but the big wuss won't come out and fight me so I gotta kick down his door and like kill a million billion demons first. But catch you on the flip side yo!
Sincerely
Supreme Awesome Radical Grand Master of Awesomeness
Draigo
What? How can you possibly exist? How did I not notice you doing things that defy all previous history? And why is your face so ugly? Did Nurgle crap you out into his garden or something? You are an abomination of existance, and you condone the GK Baby-Carriers? Heretical at best.
You have a Storm Shield because without it you would be useless. Now cease bothering me while I contemplate how best to snuff you out of existance.
Yours angrily,
The Emp.
________________________________
Dear your holiness,
Why has my world been taken over by Chaos? Why are our fine works of art and culture destroyed without a thought? Why are we now existing to serve the sick, perverse pleasure of evil overlords from our worst nightmares? Why are we starving to death; why are my children scrounging in the dirt for food and why are my friends and family butchered so? Why is the blood of our people running freely down the streets?
Oh Emperor, why have we been forsaken so? I beseech you to save us from this unparalled tyrany, or at least end our suffering in this nightmarish mortal world.
From,
a nameless citizen of the Imperium.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 18:59:32
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Kid_Kyoto wrote:[b] +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Whoa! Dude! I just got my new Codex and it's like, even more RADICAL AWESOME than I thought! I'm like, 2 Wound Termi Troops with FNP and 3+ Shrouding save FTW! To the MAX!!!!!!!!! And like those Dreadknights, WHOA! AWESOMLY EPIC EXTREME MAN! I can like put power armor in my power armor so I can like kill while I kill! Next we like need to get a WARLORD TITAN that like has a Dreadknight piloting it and a terminator piloting that! That would be RADICALLY AWESOMELY EPICALY EXTREME TO THE MAX! So anyway, I got a question, how come Inquisitors suck so much? Oh wait, it's cause they ain't marines! HAW! Dumbass puny humans! I dunno why we even let them hang out with us. Nah my real question is like, is the reason that I'm like so awesome and radical and kicking butt and taking names and rocking and rolling all up and down the warp, is it cause like I'm the only Grey Knight in Space History who had the good sense to buy a Storm Shield? Is that why? Cause like maybe some of the other guys should get ones too, they can take them from those Puny Human Crusader guys and then we can watch them cry like little girls. Sorry man, I gotta go now, I gotta like carve my name in Angron's heart but the big wuss won't come out and fight me so I gotta kick down his door and like kill a million billion demons first. But catch you on the flip side yo! Sincerely Supreme Awesome Radical Grand Master of Awesomeness Draigo Dear Supreme Awesome Radical Grand Master of Awesomeness Draigo, I don't know what the question was, so I will answer both: to the question referring to Inquisitors, they just fight in more subtle ways then marines, and because you called them that, you're going to get a nice visit from them. And in regards to the Storm shields. They may arm them selves in any way, as long as it can bring my justice to the universe. By the way, you going to get a visit from them too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oi! 'oomie Emperer! Why's ya just sit in dat toilet like a wimp? If ya so god emperer-ish can't ya just make da noggins of ya eneimies go "ka-blaaamo"? So have a go at it, a dead git! Just soo ya know I stole ya transmi- trans- tra- talky channel! Goth Nob Guk Scarfinga
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/15 19:04:16
Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 19:00:55
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Ignore my post then..
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 19:28:44
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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oops, sorry dude.... Took me a long time to write that(probaly why I didn't notice your post).
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/15 19:29:13
Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 19:59:51
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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(no problem guys, the Big E can handle both)
Darkvoidof40k wrote:Dear your holiness,
Why has my world been taken over by Chaos? Why are our fine works of art and culture destroyed without a thought? Why are we now existing to serve the sick, perverse pleasure of evil overlords from our worst nightmares? Why are we starving to death; why are my children scrounging in the dirt for food and why are my friends and family butchered so? Why is the blood of our people running freely down the streets?
Oh Emperor, why have we been forsaken so? I beseech you to save us from this unparalled tyrany, or at least end our suffering in this nightmarish mortal world.
From,
a nameless citizen of the Imperium.
Oh yeah. About that... Y'see, like sometimes bad things happen to good people. Now it's not cause i'm not omnipotent, I mean how silly, I'm the Emperor of Space, I have like this huge throne made of solid gold. And it's not cause I don't love all you little puny subjects of mine. Cause I totally do. You guys are the best.
So uh... It's a test. Yeah. A test. It's a test of your faithiness and stuff.
And like kid, you are totally passing!
So like when you die, probablly painfully on a spit being roasted in warpfire and eaten by a space Demon DON'T PANIC! Cause like you'll go straight to Space Heaven and there will be like a million virgins and an X Box waiting for you!
So everybody keep saying your Space Prayers, keep paying your tithes, keep going to Space Church and keep reporting your neighbors for suspected psy activity (yum! yum!).
Your Deity
Teh Space Emporer of Space
Warlord Gazghkull Thraka wrote:------------------------------------
Oi! 'oomie Emperer! Why's ya just sit in dat toilet like a wimp? If ya so god emperer-ish can't ya just make da noggins of ya eneimies go "ka-blaaamo"? So have a go at it, a dead git! Just soo ya know I stole ya transmi- trans- tra- talky channel!
Goth Nob Guk Scarfinga
Hey you there! With the hat!
No not you! the other guy with the other hat!
Yeah you!
I need you get me one of those guys who does assassinations, waddya call 'em? Yeah Assassins, I need one of those guys.
No not the chick, not the psycho with the skull for a head, not the other psycho with the other skull for a head, I want the other one, with the gun.
Yes I know they all have guns, I mean the one with the big gun. Snipey McSnipersonor whatever he's called. Tell him I need him to go kill Goth Nob something or the other.
No I don't know what planet he's on, that's what I keep you guys around for. Go tell Shootey O'Guns I need him to pop the head of the ork who talks funny and has a silly name. Get to it! Chop-chop!
You there, Flying Skull Thing, you writing all this down? Good.
See that's how a many ruler of a Spacial Empire of Space rules Space!
The Big E
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Honey,
I just saw the new codex and I want you to know I'm not angry.
I'm not upset.
I'm just very disappointed.
I mean you know I need a new codex. Just the other day I was out cleansing the galaxy of filth and vacuming up all the heresy when I had to check that rule on me resurrecting myself, I can never remember if I can resurrect from Instant Death or not. Well my codex was practically falling apart so i decded to treat myself to a nice new one at the local Galactic Wargear ( GW) Shop. Well what happens when I get there? The shopkeeper tells me my codex, MY CODEX, is out of print and if I want one I have to go to the Worlds Wide Webway.
Honey, I can't believe you would want your girlfriend to soil her hands with some Space Elfen technology just to get a copy of her own codex.
Now I know you're busy sitting on your chair, talking to those flying skull things and whatever else it is you do. And I know it's hard what with 994 chapters calling you every day demanding they get their own codexes. But really, surely you can just take a few minutes to update your girlfriend's codex WHICH IS OLDER THAN CALGAR'S UNDERSHORTS!
Please?
Love,
St Celestine
Hieromartyr of the Palentine Crusade
(Your GIRLFRIEND!)
PS Honey why don't we get away for a few days? I know the nicest spa on Vega V awhere they do these great rejuvinating mudbaths and let's face it your skin could use some moisture.
PPS LUV YOU!
XXXOOOXXX!
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/15 20:58:08
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 20:00:35
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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--------------------------------------------------------------------delete. All this mass post editing is strange.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/16 08:16:57
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/15 20:08:22
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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I'm holding my place while I rewrite my reply.
EDIT - all done, ignore these 2 posts
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/15 20:59:16
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/17 18:50:03
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Sslimey Sslyth
Busy somewhere, airin' out the skin jobs.
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Dear Sweetie,
Done, Mr. Jervis Johnson is working on your book right now.
Love,
Yo Space Daddy
......................................................................
Dear Spaize Emp,
I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but....
Draigo is the best Special Character of all time!
-Kanye
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I have never failed to seize on 4+ in my life!
The best 40k page in the Universe
COMMORRAGH |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/17 19:15:37
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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Deadshane1 wrote:
Dear Spaize Emp,
I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but....
Draigo is the best Special Character of all time!
-Kanye
I dunno, I mean I like the guy and stuff, but geeze does he have to show off ALL THE TIME? I mean I'm getting calls from Marneus every day and he's crying and weeping and wishing he could be Draigo and then Logan calls me up all drunk and beligerant about how he's supposed to be the best and Dante won't even take my calls these days, and after I gave him all that cool stuff too. And don't even get me started on Mortarian! I mean the kid doesn't call forever and now he's whinning about Draigo messing up his garden and writing him name somewhere... I mean I'm a busy Space Emperor, I don't have time for this crap.
So yeah, the guy's cool and all that but he might be more trouble than he's worth.
Big Daddy E
PS, speak of the devil...
=============================================================
Yo E Meister! I just wanted to say you are the most RIGHTOUS DUDE in the WHOLE UNIVERSE!
I mean I just realized that like if my my number one HOMBRE Crowe are in an army we can like have PURIFIER PALADINS TO THE MAX! I'm talking S8 psycannons out the BUTT and melee? FURGETABOUTIT!
So like I rang up my amigos and was all like YO! Big party on TITAN to celebrate! Cause like it's not everyday a Space Marine chapter gets a codex, something like that only happens like, twice a year!
But like Marneus said he was busy punching Avatars that day, and like Dante said he was playing Poker with the Necrons, and Logan said he was washing his hair and Azrael was like washing his dress or something. Just kidding man! I love the Dark Angels! But what's up with those midgets they hang out with? ANyway the only Amigo who could make it was Helbrecht and I dunno that guys like a major buzzkill, all he ever talks about is having the scouts polish his rod or light his candles.
Now maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid but do you think maybe the Amigos are like, avoiding me for some reason? But why? Everyone knows I rock harder than any Space Marine EVAH? You'd think all those guys would love to hang out with me and my SUPER COOL BROs in our chilling Fortress Monestary.
Wierd huh?
But you're coming right? It ain't a fiesta without the MAIN MAN amIright?
Draigo!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/18 03:01:36
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Screaming Shining Spear
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Dear Draigo
Uhmmm Well I think that the day your codex comes out i have a nephews birthday party and like family first right???
The Amazing Gawd Emprah
PS:Your Lucky We dont nurf your Psi Cannons to Str 3 because me and some of the other guys talked about it!
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Dear Half Dead Human Emporer
We are coming for your land raiders Muhahahahahahaah!
- Fugan the dude with the hot axe and pimping lance
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/18 10:29:41
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Boosting Space Marine Biker
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Dear Half Dead Human Emporer
We are coming for your land raiders Muhahahahahahaah!
- Fugan the dude with the hot axe and pimping lance
Dear the dude with the hot axe and pimping lance
You are welcome to come try. I believe there busy raiding your land. Muhahahahahah!
-The person standing in for the Emperor after he died from doing to many Muhahahahaha!'s
====================================================
Dear the False Emperor
How can you corrupt the Grey Knights?
-Someone who does not want to corrupt the Knights.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2011/04/18 10:33:13
COVER IS FOR THE WEAK |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/04/19 02:01:51
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Space Marine wrote: Dear the False Emperor How can you corrupt the Grey Knights? -Someone who does not want to corrupt the Knights. Because I can. Now I suggest you get your heretical ass back to the Eye of Terror before the Grey Knights come after ya. - Teh Spess Emprah! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Emperor, What 80's song/ band is your favorite? - TheCellarDweller123
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/05/10 22:36:22
Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/29 02:33:28
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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Dear Emperor,
What 80's song/ band is your favorite?
- TheCellarDweller123
Dear Dweller of the Cellar,
Well since it's only the 41st millennium I'm afraid it will be a good 40,000 years before we get to hear what 80th millennium music is like so I have to pass. Gotta tell you though the way things are going it might end up sounding like Tyranid mating calls.
Yours,
Teh E
------------------------------------------------
Dear the Space Emperor
My master, I have a customer service issue I need your help on. Recently I ordered a set of terminator armor from the adeptus mechanicus' Galactic Wargear ( GW) and after an unreasonably long delay I finally got it. But instead of being made of sturdy metal my terminator is made of some sort of light weight resin-plastic blend.
I asked about it and they said it was a revolutionary new process called Failcast or Finecost or something like that.
While the details on it are much sharper than my buddy's metal armor there are air bubbles in the breastplate and half the storm bolter is missing. Also my new Force Staff is bent, I tried running it under hot water and bending it back but it just went back into its old bent shape.
Do you think I should ask for a refund?
Yours
Librarian on Ultramar
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/29 02:35:48
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Legendary Master of the Chapter
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Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Dear the Space Emperor
My master, I have a customer service issue I need your help on. Recently I ordered a set of terminator armor from the adeptus mechanicus' Galactic Wargear (GW) and after an unreasonably long delay I finally got it. But instead of being made of sturdy metal my terminator is made of some sort of light weight resin-plastic blend.
I asked about it and they said it was a revolutionary new process called Failcast or Finecost or something like that.
While the details on it are much sharper than my buddy's metal armor there are air bubbles in the breastplate and half the storm bolter is missing. Also my new Force Staff is bent, I tried running it under hot water and bending it back but it just went back into its old bent shape.
Do you think I should ask for a refund?
Yours
Librarian on Ultramar
Sorry but this Line has been Disconnected Please Try Again.
Astropath Matt Ward.
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From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/29 02:49:36
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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(psst, you need to ask a question too)
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/29 17:00:51
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Asherian Command wrote:
Sorry but this Line has been Disconnected Please Try Again.
Astropath Matt Ward.
I so sigged that.
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Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/29 17:07:41
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Legendary Master of the Chapter
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Dear Space Emperor,
My name is Lord Hunter, i am stuck in some sort of time rift as some sparkling daemons have been chasing one of my squads of sisters of battle. We are wondering what could kill this nonattractive humanoid sparkly teethed mutants? Thus far I have lost an entire sisters of battle squad to these mutants!
Sincerely,
Inquisitor Lord Hunter.
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From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/30 04:01:04
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Asherian Command wrote:Dear Space Emperor,
My name is Lord Hunter, i am stuck in some sort of time rift as some sparkling daemons have been chasing one of my squads of sisters of battle. We are wondering what could kill this nonattractive humanoid sparkly teethed mutants? Thus far I have lost an entire sisters of battle squad to these mutants!
Sincerely,
Inquisitor Lord Hunter.
Well, you see, they are a abomination called "Twilight Vampires" take all it takes to destroy these dumb asses whom have made vampires look like pansies.
The Emp.
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Dear Emperor,
I was wondering if you wanted to join The Greater Good!
It'll be all sunshine and happiness!
Sincerely,
Sha'sho Happy Face
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Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/30 09:32:42
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Chaplain with Hate to Spare
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Dear Emperor,
I was wondering if you wanted to join The Greater Good!
It'll be all sunshine and happiness!
Sincerely,
Sha'sho Happy Face
Dear Sha'sho Happy Face,
Please note the second Damocles Gulf Crusade headed in your direction. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Thy Most Disgusted Emperor
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/30 20:35:14
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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dear emperor,
my friend recently joined chaos,and is trying to get me to join to.what should i do?-sincerely,a dude who is confused
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f  g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f  r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f  g time! [Pause] I didn't think so. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/05/31 01:57:44
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Screaming Shining Spear
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lord commissar klimino wrote:dear emperor,
my friend recently joined chaos,and is trying to get me to join to.what should i do?
-sincerely,a dude who is confused
Dear a dude who is confused,
A bolter round to the forhead works,for that matter a bolt round works... Most weapons in fact work. Depends on his armor, is he a terminator, a normal marine, or is he already a spawn(If so just point and life while he chases you, they don't live long) try to get a high powered weapon, a lascannon, plasma gun, or a melta work VERY well. You know what, do all of the above then Punch the molten slag and dust that is left.
- The Emprah Of man who HATES chaotic chaosness
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Dear Emprah,
What is your favorite special weapon that can be used by tactical sqaud, and how do you counter sqaud weapon.
- A uhhhm Eld- I mean Tactical marine
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/01 00:49:17
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Phanobi
oh,you know. in a basement...cooking ponies into cupcakes....
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TheWildHost wrote:
Dear Emprah,
What is your favorite special weapon that can be used by tactical sqaud, and how do you counter sqaud weapon.
- A uhhhm Eld- I mean Tactical marine
dear mr uhhhm eld,
firstly change your name,it doesent sound right.
i would have to say the heavy bolter. and you counter it with another heavy bolter or a bigger gun. but this makes your job easy uhhm if you fight eldar as they cant counter you.
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dear emporer,
i recently got a pet snotling,and i want to know. should i feed him vegetables,or meat?
sincerely,lil kid.
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Deathshead420 wrote:As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is – I collect your f  g head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f  r here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the f  g time! [Pause] I didn't think so. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/01 02:54:39
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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lord commissar klimino wrote:
dear emporer,
i recently got a pet snotling,and i want to know. should i feed him vegetables,or meat?
sincerely,lil kid.
Well, little kid,
I say.... KILL IT.
It's a xenos!
hope this helps,
The Chuck Norris of Space.
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Dear emperor,
Is your refrigerator running?
sincerely, A Stoned Dude
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Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/01 14:15:43
Subject: Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Pragmatic Collabirator
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Dear emperor,
Is your refrigerator running?
sincerely, A Stoned Dude
To the dude of stones
Yes my refrigerator is running at top capacity oversaw by some of the mechanics finest enginseers and blessed by myself.
It will never stop running till the next model comes out.
Sincerly,
your God emperor
Dear Mighty Emperor on Earth,
What is the best way to start a strongly worded message to a merchent who has wronged you?
Your loyal servent,
Rogue
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Quote from: GuardianTempest on shrinemaidens.org new generation RP
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD TREE!!!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL MULCH!!!
the Saigyou Ayakashi |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/01 19:20:46
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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Dear Mighty Emperor on Earth,
What is the best way to start a strongly worded message to a merchent who has wronged you?
Your loyal servent,
Rogue
Usually I have it written in 100% pure nun's blood on the nose of an exterminus torpedo.
Big E
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Whoa! DUDE! Big E what's up with this?
So like I just wanna be clear, I LOVE my codex. It's like the most awesome EXTREME radical codex EVAH. I like put it on the pillow next to me when I sleep for my 2 hours a day so it's a last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing I see when i wake up.
But like the other day I was doing barrel rolls in my Storm Raven and buzzing the Fang, y'know no big thing, and like I had the codex on the seat next to me and like when I rolled over it fell open.
Now course I love my codex but I never really looked at those puny human pages, I mean why bother right? If they were any good they'd be Space Marines y'know. But this time it fell open to one of the puny human pages and I looked at it and I was all like WHOA!
I mean seriously?
Monkeys? There's dirty filthy poo-throwing monkeys in my codex?
Dude tell me this is a joke or something cause Big D don't hang with no monkeys!
Huh, I'm big D and you're Big E, never noticed that before. Whoa.
Sincerelly,
Kaldor Draigo
Most Excellent and Supreme Grand Master of the Grey Knights
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/02 22:36:44
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'
Lost in my disturbing mind...
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Kid_Kyoto wrote:
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Whoa! DUDE! Big E what's up with this?
So like I just wanna be clear, I LOVE my codex. It's like the most awesome EXTREME radical codex EVAH. I like put it on the pillow next to me when I sleep for my 2 hours a day so it's a last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing I see when i wake up.
But like the other day I was doing barrel rolls in my Storm Raven and buzzing the Fang, y'know no big thing, and like I had the codex on the seat next to me and like when I rolled over it fell open.
Now course I love my codex but I never really looked at those puny human pages, I mean why bother right? If they were any good they'd be Space Marines y'know. But this time it fell open to one of the puny human pages and I looked at it and I was all like WHOA!
I mean seriously?
Monkeys? There's dirty filthy poo-throwing monkeys in my codex?
Dude tell me this is a joke or something cause Big D don't hang with no monkeys!
Huh, I'm big D and you're Big E, never noticed that before. Whoa.
Sincerelly,
Kaldor Draigo
Most Excellent and Supreme Grand Master of the Grey Knights
Well, man, I'm sorry, but it ain't no joke. And I hope you didn't send that pic to the SPCA, because they still be giving me gak for having them two headed eagles.
The E
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Dear Emperor,
What do you think of the conspiracy of the Machine God being a C'tan?
Sincerely, a Tech-Magos
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Wins: Six
Ties: One or two
Loses: More than a dozen
Armies
- Choppygutz' Warband
- Space Marines (inactive) |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2011/06/03 15:39:56
Subject: Re:Ask teh Space Emporer!
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Pragmatic Collabirator
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Dear Emperor,
What do you think of the conspiracy of the Machine God being a C'tan?
Sincerely, a Tech-Magos
---- Message forwarded to General Commisaar From "The Big E On Terra"--------
Heresy!
(enclosed is a bolt pistol round)
Please find the nearest commisaar, give him this and repeat the question to him/her.
Thank you for doing your civic duty of removing your trecherous self
Signed
Comisaar General
Ps
I dont know about that, but there are instances of misIdentity of their silent killers and emboidiments of your god.
It is no more than a Xenos trick to sway you from the true path.
Yes the threat of the Xenos are every where... (rant continues for 10 more pages)
(forgot a question)
Dear Dad,
its me your son Horus, you know the one who you killed...
I've done it I've created a realm allmost rivaling yours,
Sure it dissolved to infighting but you have recognized it as a threat right,
thats gotta count for something right,
are you proud of my acomplishments
are you?
Your son Horus
Ps tell mom and my brothers I said hi and HA!
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2011/06/03 15:46:47
Quote from: GuardianTempest on shrinemaidens.org new generation RP
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD TREE!!!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL MULCH!!!
the Saigyou Ayakashi |
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