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Recently there has been a spate of suicides by teenage kids due to Cyber bullying and a ground swell of anger at such sites as Ask.FM for allowing this thing to happen. Although terrible I wonder if these deaths are highlighting a bigger issue. Over the years I have seen the next generation demand more freedoms at a younger age. How many of use have thought "they grow up quick now"? There also seems to be more of a tendency to treat kids like adults at a younger age, however has Cyber bullying exposed the falsehood of this thinking?

Although kids like to think they are more grown up nowadays, are they really? Does Cyber bullying blow this way of thinking out of the water? As an adult, I might feel angry at a trolling or abuse over the internet, but I'd never feel the need to kill myself over it. I'd just either ignore, bite back or walk away. To me it seems to prove that although kids like to think they "grown up" , from a psychological perspective they aren't. You could compare it to underage sex, although hormones are kicking in from 12 onwards, psychologically they aren't ready. Which is why we have laws on it. Do we as a society need to reappraise the freedoms & responsibilities we allow our kids to have?

Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of. Most kids aren't as mature as they think they are, but there is a very obvious spectrum. There is a double standard at high schools(Thank God from my perspective). The thing that sucks about being a kid is that the lowest common denominator makes life suck for you- the reason we have study hall in assigned seats without talking(yes, talking in study hall-homework is finished in the first few minutes)- dumb and dumber kept on shouting to eachother in the back row. This sucks over the course of a year- imagine being trapped in a dirty box for how I feel.

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:
Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of.

Suicide is not limited to "the weak or dumb". Look at the most recent visible case and see why it happened.

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:
Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of. Most kids aren't as mature as they think they are, but there is a very obvious spectrum. There is a double standard at high schools(Thank God from my perspective). The thing that sucks about being a kid is that the lowest common denominator makes life suck for you- the reason we have study hall in assigned seats without talking(yes, talking in study hall-homework is finished in the first few minutes)- dumb and dumber kept on shouting to eachother in the back row. This sucks over the course of a year- imagine being trapped in a dirty box for how I feel.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say; your post is really quite incoherent.

Its a damn shame. should ban the interwebs

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

(honestly parents should be keeping a very close eye on what there children are doing on the web. no damn excuses)

It's just what happens when parents don't parent.

 juraigamer wrote:
It's just what happens when parents don't parent.

That is not even remotely true.

"Cyberbullying" is not restricted to teenagers being mean to other teenagers. It is a phenomenon which encompasses quite a few age groups, and even if the parents do get involved there is not necessarily much that they can do outside of comforting their child.

 Kanluwen wrote:

 juraigamer wrote:
It's just what happens when parents don't parent.

That is not even remotely true.

"Cyberbullying" is not restricted to teenagers being mean to other teenagers. It is a phenomenon which encompasses quite a few age groups, and even if the parents do get involved there is not necessarily much that they can do outside of comforting their child.

The parents of the bully need to be more involved. Parents need to be able to look at some things objectively and not think along the lines of "My little Timmy is an Angel, he would never do something like that"

Better parenting from the parents of the bully would go a long way to reducing bullying in general.

Overall, I think the internet magnifies bullying. People, not just kids, can take something the wrong way in a text based medium far more easily than if it was face to face. Some people may also be more inclined to be a bully on the internet due to the illusion of anonymity or not actually having to personally see their victim.

Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

This right here.



Is utter rubbish.

Pause for effect

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Woooow.

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

The point is it often DOES leak over to "Real Life" With bullies at high school using the cyber bulling as ammunition against you. And i think the reason kids are asking for more freedom at a younger age is because we live in a world that allows more freedom from parents, with cell phones allowing you to do more stuff farther then you could. but parents are not wising up and still thinking in a narrowed view of what kids can do.

This is the crux of the issue:
Internet used to be very much part of "another life".
Now, Facebook and Twitter among other systems are part of the every day life.
You can no-longer just go by another handle or change to another web page when these are your own or a common class or school forum.
How does it feel when someone tags a picture of you that you do not want posted, or copies a less than great quote of you and adds it to their sig?

Social and character assassination can be a favorite game for some with little regard to the outcome.

So many of us have cell phones with texting that we do it anywhere (no references to washrooms...) it is part of us now.

I have found there are only three ways to protect against bullies:
1) Anonymity: do not give them a reason to notice you, do not act like a victim.
2) If they take a poke at you, if it requires a comment, make it seem like they do not matter.
2) If they feel they still have to poke at you: Go after them, hard. Make them your hobby. Finding out their real name just like daemons tend to get them to quiet down a bit.

The trick is to stay on top of the security settings on your hardware and software: review the Facebook settings on what people have access to, for goodness sake remove GPS access to the photo application: some of your pictures can point to where you live which would make great fodder for some.

Hope no-one here has any of these issues and I am still getting things together on "best practices" with my kids, they are just beginning to get into this.

<<edit>> Did not answer OP question: yes, they need guidance, it is another learned skill like teaching them sports: how not to get hurt and give as well as take, teamwork (social skills).
As a parent you show them how to cross a street so you need to show them how not to get run over on the information highway (Or do it to someone else).
They do not have good judgment or we would not be legally responsible for them for so long.

It is too easy to be less than careful when the person is not in the room with you.

Cyber bullying is worse than old fashioned bullying due to the Greater Internet Feckwad Phenomenon.



Society will adapt to the new situation. Social spaces need rules and enforcement if they are not to degenerate into howling wastelands. We already see calls for Ask.fm to be shut down, and for Twitter to introduce a "Yellow Triangle". We have also seen a number of prosecutions of people for stuff they have said on text messages, Twitter and so on.

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Well, every thread's got one or two.

Cyberbullying was really an eventuality, and in this day and age of technology it is somewhat inescapable if you want to have a facebook or twitter or something. You can't both hide and be social.

The idea of killing yourself because random people on the internet say mean things to you speaks leagues of your own internal frailty more than it does the character of others. The world is mean and terrible, this will never change. I'd rather focus on helping people figure out how to cope with things like that (like, you know, get off the internet) then trying to put a stranglehold on all the mean people out there. The former seems much more manageable than the latter.

 Kanluwen wrote:

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:
Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of.

Suicide is not limited to "the weak or dumb". Look at the most recent visible case and see why it happened.

Hey look! Not exactly limited to cyber bullying, other important outside factors. "The plain unlucky" also qualifies.

Sorry post is so incoherent, rant... I feel very strongly about people my age doing dumb things. Sorry for the original comment, but it is my experience at my school..

You are correct, people should have a thicker skin. But many don't, so don't be surprised when they do take stuff in a bad way.

I think the problem for minors exposed to cyberbullying (and all bullying, really), as opposed to adults, is essentially a lack of freedom. As an adult, I have the freedom to leave a situation in which I may be subjected to bullying. I can choose to stop going to X social place, I can choose to move to a new neighborhood, or I can choose to find a new workplace (not the optimum solutions, but still possible). Additionally, there can be harsher penalties for bullying in the adult world, as there are laws against slander/libel, and bullies can be fired from the workplace. Minors, however, generally do not have these options. They must still go to the same school where the bullies are. Even if they are punished (ooo, detention), the bullies still get to go to the same school, thus, the situation endures. Schools rarely have the freedom to take the actions they should take.

Why is it a Bully can get away with bullying with little more than a proverbial slap on the wrist, yet a kid that eats his poptart a certain way gets suspended.

I'd say schools have freedom to act but in all the wrong places.

 Kanluwen wrote:

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:
Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of.

Suicide is not limited to "the weak or dumb". Look at the most recent visible case and see why it happened.

That's just awful, hope some sort of justice is found for her.

The problem with a lot of cyber bullying is that it makes the bullying relentless. Kids get bullied at school, on the bus home, now they can't go online to chatrooms or a forum, or to any social networking sites with out the scum following them around or just producing a huge amount of hate for them elsewhere. Even if you turn off the computer, knowing people are producing masses of hateful stuff and passing it around to others in school and then having your face rubbed in it in the morning is intolerable. God help you if they get hold of your mobile phone number.

Some may say that resorting to suicide or self harm is just due to some sort of underlying weakness or internal problem, but these are kids still growing, they're liable to be emotional about things, and putting up with abuse at all hours day after day is crushing. Not everyone is a tough guy, they shouldn't have to be, the problem is with the bullies.

curran12 wrote:

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Woooow.

Spoiler for very bad language, used for an example and education purposes. Mods, if this is not okay, please delete it and let me know.

So, SheSpits, would you care to suggest what your expected outcome of trying to reason with that would be? Also, please tell me how someone would avoid that, day after day. And if you can't avoid that, then please tell me how you would cope with experiencing absolute terror and powerlessness like that every single day. Be honest, tell me if you think you could ignore that. (and if the mods do delete my example, then simply consider that it was just that awful.)

 azazel the cat wrote:

curran12 wrote:

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Woooow.

Spoiler for very bad language, used for an example and education purposes. Mods, if this is not okay, please delete it and let me know.

Spoiler:

"Listen up, [expletive du jour], I'm going to fething pound on you tomorrow after school. And if you run away, I'm going to make sure that me and five other people pound on you when we catch you -and we will catch you. I'm going to punch you in the fething mouth if you say anything, and I'm going to keep at it until you lose your front teeth. Would you like that? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THE LITTLE BITCH WITH NO FRONT TEETH? I'm on your facebook. If you delete me I'm going to punch your fething teeth out. And if I see you post about this, I'm going to hurt you. Maybe break your little bitch arm. Then I'm going to post your phone number all over your facebook and let everyone know that you like having your mouth fethed like a little bitch, you like that you little bitch? Yeah, I thought so, I'll see you after school tomorrow. Have a great little bitch day."

So, SheSpits, would you care to suggest what your expected outcome of trying to reason with that would be? Also, please tell me how someone would avoid that, day after day. And if you can't avoid that, then please tell me how you would cope with experiencing absolute terror and powerlessness like that every single day. Be honest, tell me if you think you could ignore that. (and if the mods do delete my example, then simply consider that it was just that awful.)

Here is an idea- contact the police. If someone said that to your face, the same thing would be in order.

Sounds like someone missed the point/chose to purposefully ignore it.

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:

curran12 wrote:

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Woooow.

Spoiler for very bad language, used for an example and education purposes. Mods, if this is not okay, please delete it and let me know.

Spoiler:

"Listen up, [expletive du jour], I'm going to fething pound on you tomorrow after school. And if you run away, I'm going to make sure that me and five other people pound on you when we catch you -and we will catch you. I'm going to punch you in the fething mouth if you say anything, and I'm going to keep at it until you lose your front teeth. Would you like that? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THE LITTLE BITCH WITH NO FRONT TEETH? I'm on your facebook. If you delete me I'm going to punch your fething teeth out. And if I see you post about this, I'm going to hurt you. Maybe break your little bitch arm. Then I'm going to post your phone number all over your facebook and let everyone know that you like having your mouth fethed like a little bitch, you like that you little bitch? Yeah, I thought so, I'll see you after school tomorrow. Have a great little bitch day."

So, SheSpits, would you care to suggest what your expected outcome of trying to reason with that would be? Also, please tell me how someone would avoid that, day after day. And if you can't avoid that, then please tell me how you would cope with experiencing absolute terror and powerlessness like that every single day. Be honest, tell me if you think you could ignore that. (and if the mods do delete my example, then simply consider that it was just that awful.)

Here is an idea- contact the police. If someone said that to your face, the same thing would be in order.

Someone obviously doesn't remember highschool...

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:

curran12 wrote:

 SheSpits wrote:
Cyberbullyiing......Really how hard is it to not go on the internet or go to another page. Just stop talking to that person. If it leaks over to REAL LIFE then talk to the person who started it. If they do not stop ignore it. Really how hard is it. Coming from a male id just go to the root of it and end it there. Being a female i would assume it would be much more diffecult to deal with. But they should do what they do best,talk about it with some one.

Woooow.

Spoiler for very bad language, used for an example and education purposes. Mods, if this is not okay, please delete it and let me know.

Spoiler:

"Listen up, [expletive du jour], I'm going to fething pound on you tomorrow after school. And if you run away, I'm going to make sure that me and five other people pound on you when we catch you -and we will catch you. I'm going to punch you in the fething mouth if you say anything, and I'm going to keep at it until you lose your front teeth. Would you like that? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE THE LITTLE BITCH WITH NO FRONT TEETH? I'm on your facebook. If you delete me I'm going to punch your fething teeth out. And if I see you post about this, I'm going to hurt you. Maybe break your little bitch arm. Then I'm going to post your phone number all over your facebook and let everyone know that you like having your mouth fethed like a little bitch, you like that you little bitch? Yeah, I thought so, I'll see you after school tomorrow. Have a great little bitch day."

So, SheSpits, would you care to suggest what your expected outcome of trying to reason with that would be? Also, please tell me how someone would avoid that, day after day. And if you can't avoid that, then please tell me how you would cope with experiencing absolute terror and powerlessness like that every single day. Be honest, tell me if you think you could ignore that. (and if the mods do delete my example, then simply consider that it was just that awful.)

Here is an idea- contact the police. If someone said that to your face, the same thing would be in order.

Okay, so you thought about that for almost one second. That's a start.

Now, play out the rest of your "solution". Using the information provided in the example, I want you to tell me how you think the next day will turn out. The next week, and next month, as well. Honestly. As an exercise, please type up a short paragraph (100 words sould suffice) of what will follow after contacting the police. No single-sentence platitudes, please.

I'll tell you what the police are going to do. Absolutely squat.

A kid saying mean things, even things of such a degree, is not what they deal with. Sad, but true.

 Howard A Treesong wrote:

 Kanluwen wrote:

FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs wrote:
Only the weak(or mentally ill, or just plain unlucky) or dumb(same) perform the actions you are thinking of.

Suicide is not limited to "the weak or dumb". Look at the most recent visible case and see why it happened.

That's just awful, hope some sort of justice is found for her.

The problem with a lot of cyber bullying is that it makes the bullying relentless. Kids get bullied at school, on the bus home, now they can't go online to chatrooms or a forum, or to any social networking sites with out the scum following them around or just producing a huge amount of hate for them elsewhere. Even if you turn off the computer, knowing people are producing masses of hateful stuff and passing it around to others in school and then having your face rubbed in it in the morning is intolerable. God help you if they get hold of your mobile phone number.

Some may say that resorting to suicide or self harm is just due to some sort of underlying weakness or internal problem, but these are kids still growing, they're liable to be emotional about things, and putting up with abuse at all hours day after day is crushing. Not everyone is a tough guy, they shouldn't have to be, the problem is with the bullies.

The most important part is pretty much what you mention about the fact that these kids are still growing.

There is a big reason that you are seeing more awareness about suicides among teenagers and an attempt at seeing why, with a lot of positing seemingly tied to perceptions of sexual orientation or ideas of no self-worth or that they are individuals who feel they have nowhere to turn to and no support structure in place to make them feel like they matter.

Being a teenager having to cope with all that is associated with being a teenager is enough, add in a situation that allows the students at your school to ostracize or exclude you and constantly belittle you or make you feel as though you are less than human?

It becomes a nightmare for a teenager.
It is not something I find acceptable at all, and I have made a very big point of ensuring that my younger brothers know that behaving in such a manner is completely unacceptable.

I also think it speaks Volumes of our world in where we blame people of bullying for being bullied, As if they can gt away from it.
Well To be honest. Even if you shut yourself away and try to not confront a bully, they don't have to even be talking to bullies to let them affect you, they pick up on what you are sensitive on and BAM they got you. What they say can stick in your mind like a bad Katy Perry song. It doesn't leave, eating ate you for a bit. And if you let the bullies push you from things like facebook you are still being bullied. I used to sit behind someone who would regularly stab me with a pencil. I told the teacher, he moved the guy. Y'know what that did? Made him mad and got EVERYONE in the class against me. So now im being bullied in my whole class. Well there in no escape from that.