40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**gruebot**

You get Macbook Pro.

I insert ... What the hell? Where's the goddamn disc drive on this thing? Seriously? I can't insert my CD?...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a valium.

I insert a pair of tickets for this year's Super Bowl.

**snurl**

You get Patriotic Vikings.

I insert cheese curls.

**gruebot**

You get a talking Cheetah who always wears sunglasses.

I insert Shrek...

**ChargerIIC**

You get the simpsons

I insert a red pen

**BigWaaagh**

You get redlined.

I insert a jar of hand stuffed Bleu Cheese Olives...nom, nom.

**snurl**

You get a jar of kosher dills.

**gruebot**

You also get a jar of kosher dills. I get a jar of kosher dills. I didn't even insert anything yet!

I insert a pickle...

**ZergSmasher**

You get Pickle Rick.

I insert a collection of Rick & Morty Season 4.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a secondhand copy of Futurama

I insert a silver dollar

**snurl**

You get a little pancake.

I insert the Moathouse.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a stiff upper lip

I insert a bag of Chik-Fil-A sandwiches

**gruebot**

You get a bag of homophobic leaflets.

I insert a rainbow flag...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a high five!

I insert the campfire scene from 'Blazing Saddles'.

**snurl**

You get methane gas. Lots of it.

I insert the lawn mower.

**BigWaaagh**

You get Karl Childers as your lawn mower repairman.

I insert the cumulative sheer idiocy and lies spouted by our Orangutan-in-Chief since his inauguration.

**snurl**

You get the swamp.

I insert vintage figures.

**gruebot**

You get a Grognard.

I insert Old Hammer...

**ChargerIIC**

You get a bumper stick stating '1997 wil never die'

I insert three pounds of yeast

**ZergSmasher**

You get a yeast infection.

I insert a cup of tears.

**gruebot**

You get a Squat army.

I insert a yoga mat...

**ChargerIIC**

You get a restraining order from the yoga instructor

I insert a tiny goat

**BigWaaagh**

You get a tiny bowl of Birria.

I insert all the bras and panties thrown at Tom Jones during his career.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Daemonette of Slaanesh.

I insert the Predator.

**snurl**

You get a priest.

I insert a frozen pizza.

**ChargerIIC**

You get an IOU from your roomate

I insert a spelunking kit

**snurl**

You get a snorkel and flippers.

I insert thermite.

**gruebot**

You get a Thermal Detonator.

I insert a hokey religion and ancient weapons...

**snurl**

You get a wooden stake and a mallet.

I insert a pointy hat.

**gruebot**

You get a long grey beard.

I insert the one ring...