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Granted. You get a custom exclusive edition of the Ultramarines supplement, with gold leaf edging and personally signed by the whole GW team and remarqued by Blanche himself. Too bad it is locked shut and can only be opened by a combination of self-inflicted fishslaps.
I wish that Singyourlife would find himself a metal miniature.

@ Snurl... are the fishslaps a one time thing, or would I need to carry a fish around every time I need to open the thing?

Granted, all of his belongings become perfectly scaled miniatures, even his plastic miniatures become miniature versions of themselves.

I wish I had unlimited money.

If you close it, you need a fish again.

Granted. You have an unlimited supply of 40K scale currency.
I wish for metal miniatures of a metal band, such as Black Sabbath.

Granted, but they all made from mercury.

When you open the super-chilled container, all the finely sculpted models begin to melt to liquid metal.

I wish for a watch which can shoot high intensity laser beams.

Granted. But it shoots them at you.


I wish for John McDonald to return to Doctor Who

Granted. He's inside the Dalek suit.

I wish for some really good rolls tonight.

Granted, but you find all the fluff is the same as in the original codex.

I wish for some cheese.

Granted, but it's mouldy.

I wish I had a whole Space Marine Chapter.

Granted, but no time to paint it.

I wish I had the skills of the 'eavy metal painters.

Granted. You have the skills but no fingers to use them with.

I wish for vengance.

Granted. You get your vengeance only to find out that it does not fill the void inside you.

I wish to marry my one true love.

Granted you get to marry your computer but after the virus keeping it scrambled is removed it files for divorce and kidnapping. It wins its cases and is awarded your entire savings and your thrown in jail for the next 42 years.

I wish for the Marx Brothers to return to being famous.

(Edit: Frain Bart)

Granted. Karl the Communist and his brother Louis the toymaker rise from the grave and become fameous on the late night TV talk show circuit.
I wish to find more small round flat plastic Dwarf shields.

Granted, you find them in your gak.

No wish, come at me bro!

Granted *runs up to him and tackles him*

I wish I had an anvil.

Granted, an anvil is dropped on your head.

No wish. You are mistaken for a piniata and whacked with a stick by hyperactive, yet determined children.

I wish i could make decent shields out of green stuff.

Granted. You can make shields out of bogeys.
I wish for it to be Christmas again.

Granted, but no-one knows it's Christmas so no one celebrates.

I wish for a car.

Granted, the second you enter it it explodes in a Hollywood fireball killing you and obliterating your corpse. After 14 years someone finally notices your missing but doesn't really care.

I wish for 'taters. (potatoes)

Granted. But you must peel them.

I wish for a clear path.

Sounds good to me!

Granted, it doesn't go anywhere you want to and you can't get off it.

I wish Snurl would get totally lost using his clear path.

Granted. Snurl gets lost and resorts to slapping you with a bloody fish for entertainment.

I wish for another good game soon.

Granted. The game is a game of snakes and ladders with a 6 year old.
I wish that sherlock series didn't only have three episodes.

Granted. The three episodes are divided into several mini-episodes. Now there is a dozen.

I wish 6 year olds didn't cheat at Snakes & Ladders.

Granted, their 3 year old brother steals all your money while you're distracted.

I wish to know how that 3 year old stole the money in Snurl's bank account.

granted, he did I by water-boarding you until you told him how to steal snurl's money.

I wish I knew how to withdraw money from a billionaire's bank account.

Granted, you must watterboard the three year old to learn how.

I wish for sing your life to be caught learning how to withdraw money from a billionaire's account.

Granted, but my smooth talking shifts the blame to you.

I wish for a full fledged Necromunda video game that holds with the actual game rules as best is possible.