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Granted. You never speak again...


I wish for my friends to play Garry's mod with me

Granted. But all your friends are master griefs.

I wish to break the laws of psychics.

Granted. The specific part of you that breaks the laws of physics is your face.

I wish CSM got Legion Tactics.

Granted, they break all the fluff. Iron Warriors get extra mutations? What the feth?

I wish I had thought to get a codex before getting the models

Granted, but you find all the cool miniatures are non competitive.

I wish for cheese.

Granted. You get a mouldy crumb of limburgher.

I wish for flock.

Granted. A flock of birds gak on you.

I wish for some high quality sci fi model kits.

Granted. You get a case of vintage Mr. Spock figure kits.
I wish for more shelves.

You want more shelves? You get more shelves, but all the stuff you were going to put on them disappears.

I wish for free Subway subs for life.

Granted... you get a free 6" veggie sub, and choke to death.

I wish for the next set of winning lottery numbers.

Granted the numbers are: & ! ¥ # % \ and you'll win a $3492674 debt to be paid immediately in non-sequential small bills or your life.

I wish for some beef jerky.

Granted. But it's got Maggots in it.


I wish for a Space Marine 2

Granted, but it's COD ghosts re-skinned.

I wish I could stand cheese.

Granted, your new cheese legs are amazing.

I wish it was legal to sew the mouths of stupid people shut.

Granted. It is also legit for stupid people with sewn mouths to follow you endlessly making mewling noises.

I wish there was a cure for stupidity.

Granted, but the side effects of the cure are cancer of the bumhole.

I wish for a mini-snurl of which I could throw at people when I get angry.

Granted. But they keep throwing it back.

I wish for a day of gaming.

Granted, you get a day where you cannot do anything except gaming.

No wish. You are squirted out of the universe like a watermelon seed, never to be heard from again.

I wish for some watermelon.

Granted, but you have to leave the universe to get it.

I pass my wish onto the next person.

Granted. I just hit the lottery and now i'm off to Tahiti.

I wish Guardsman Bob would do that more often.

Granted, but he passes on wish to drink a bottle of super spicy chilli sauce.

I wish for a gun.

Granted, here's a nerf gun. Don't shoot your eye out.

I wish I could punch ghosts.

Granted. You can. But they slap you back with fish whan you aint looking.
I wish the beer was colder.

Granted. it freezes your tongue off.

I wish I could have that beer.

Granted. But it still has my tounge flipping around in it.

I wish i had not drank so many beers last night.

Granted, but since you didn't, this wish was never made. TIME PARADOX!

I wish people would stop attacking me with fish.

Granted, the official creature of guardsman Bob bashing is now the amphibian. I strike him with a bull frog.

I wish for a larger frog.

Granted, but it's a poison dart frog that really wants to hug you.

I wish for every Space Marine Land Raider kit ever produced in mint condition.

Granted, but there are so many that you are crushed to death under the weight of them all.

I wish for a better car ( by that I mean a Stug III)