Switch Theme:

Ice Angels - Book 3 - page 64  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
»
Author Message
Advert


Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
  • No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
  • Times and dates in your local timezone.
  • Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
  • Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
  • Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.




Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

@jihad_ragsta - Thanks! I like to throw in some brutal smack down from time to time in my writing.

@Gitsplitta - I agree. I wanted Inushi to be more of the introvert of the guest marines. When I originally sat down and worked out what every one would be like and how they would interact, it felt perfect to have Inushi play that role. It also makes it easier to write him in as the protagonist.

@toast - good call! It has been fixed. Some bad news about having such a giant post, I tend to miss more on the grammar side of things. I think the larger posts flow together better, especially in this instance with a long battle and running, but when I reread it I tend to see what my mind thinks is there, not what I've actually written.

   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Madison, WI

IceAngel wrote:@toast - good call! It has been fixed. Some bad news about having such a giant post, I tend to miss more on the grammar side of things. I think the larger posts flow together better, especially in this instance with a long battle and running, but when I reread it I tend to see what my mind thinks is there, not what I've actually written.

This happens to everyone. Lesson I learned in grad school... have someone who is not intimately involved with your work proof read it... they'll catch all kinds of things that your mind "edits" for you when you read your own work. The other option is to set it down for several days & work on something else. Then come back and re-read what you've written with "fresh eyes".


Anvildude: "Honestly, it's kinda refreshing to see an Ork vehicle that doesn't look like a rainbow threw up on it."

Gitsplitta's Unified Painting Theory
 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





Chicago, Illinois

Agreed. I like writing small sections at a time. Reread them and then put them all on word. Then delete it. Improve it again. Adds better revision. Plus I am always the critic to my own work.

Creative writing really helps XD

From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. 
   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

tee hee hee.

I don't have anything constructive to post, I just thought you all should know. I am cackling manically on the inside.

   
Made in us
Stormin' Stompa





Rogers, CT

IceAngel wrote:tee hee hee.

I don't have anything constructive to post, I just thought you all should know. I am cackling manically on the inside.


you monster

You've done it again Ice, looking through your story again has made me finally want to get off my and write some more of my GMS fluff! Except Im gonna introduce all the marines in one large story rather then individually. pming you with some questions

   
Made in nz
Strategizing Grey Knight Chapter Master





Auckland New Zealand

Gah!

Ice how could you do that to me, I saw you had a post on the thread, only to find you've gone mad with maniacal glee!

This bodes well however for more fluff, it means you've either had the perfect epiphany to wrap up this chapter or you've come up with the most grusome way to remove the current players in the story.

Either way it will be legendary!

on a side note, has Brother Micus made his way to you yet?

IceAngel wrote:I must say Knightley, I am very envious of your squiggle ability. I mean, if squiggles were a tactical squad, you'd be the sergeant. If squiggles were an HQ, you'd be the special character. If squiggles were a way of life, you'd be Doctor Phil...
The Cleanest Painting blog ever!
Gitsplitta wrote:I am but a pretender... you are... the father of all squiggles. .
 
   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

Brother Micus has arrived. Check out my P&M blog to see my post and to watch my progress as I base him and complete him.

   
Made in gb
Nasty Nob






london (all of it)

finally finished reading through from the beggining, so very awesome. hope to find more on here soon

Matt.Kingsley wrote:'Bigfish, Dakka's official Plastic-Fu master'

My ORK project Blog: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/361076.page#2675998
Nova Marines project blog: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/411472.page
tyranid project blog: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/30/360228.page#7461387 
   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

bigfish wrote:finally finished reading through from the beggining, so very awesome. hope to find more on here soon


Thanks bigfish. There will be MUCH MUCH more, but I've been working on other writing projects recently. Luckily I am nearly finished. Once that is out of the way there will be quite a bit more of the Ice Angel fluff to come.

Oh, and please don't hesitate to give me feedback as the writing comes out. I need feedback!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/03/29 01:33:12


   
Made in gb
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





United Kingdom

MMM Juicy fluff! If I could make a suggestion what bout a revenge attack from the dark eldar? Perhaps a raid on their homeworld?

Imperial guard - 800 points
Space Marines - 2000 points 
   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

Interesting suggestion Desert_thunder_heart, I'll keep that in mind.

   
Made in au
Cog in the Machine





I'd read this before i even signed up and i think it's the bee's knees. Absolutly brilliant!

Could such a fine man as your self check out my homebrew chapter? link is in my sig. (sorry for the plug but i need some more critque!)

Cheers.

   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

@ 3Strike - DONE! I'll keep an eye out on your thread for more.

In other news, Adepticon is in a few weeks. I should have a nice Ice Angel piece ready shortly there after.

   
Made in au
Cog in the Machine





Thanks, You're a big help! Lookin' forward to your next piece, Oh! the anticipation.

   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

Chapter 13 – the approach

The room was a storm of activity. The industrious marines quickly detached, moved, packed, stacked, and rolled everything they had spent the past few days using. Amidst the controlled blur of deconstruction a lone figure sat in a massive throne.

The throne wasn’t his, yet he was in charge. The men around him were obeying his commands, yet he didn’t feel worthy enough to issue them.

He leaned back into the corner of the tall backed chair staring at his helmet that rested on a wide arm rest. He rubbed his chin with his left hand. Despite it being encased in armor he could feel the stubble on his chin. In his right hand he casually held a pic screen. It looked miniscule in his white powerfist.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe filling all three of his lungs. Slowly he emptied them one at a time. A small organ attached to his wind pipe analyzed the air he had breathed. He could taste the lingering death, the scent of squigs, and the tang of weapons fire. When he opened his eyes again they refocused on his helm. The purple eye lenses returned his gaze.

A single blink of light caught his attention. He changed focus to the pic screen. He saw a simple topographical lay out of the third planet in the Kota system. The screen automatically zoomed in as it blinked again. He didn’t change his focus as the screen zoomed in once again. With a final adjustment the topographical map showed a shoreline and a mountainous region, several large lakes dotted the landscape amongst the oddly shaped mountains. The Ice Angel emblem appeared in red at the center of a tear shaped region.

As the map was permanently added to his memory he lowered the screen and returned his gaze to his helmet. The room seemed to get slightly darker when he realized someone was in his light. He turned to his right to see a marine looking over at him. He held a large case in each hand.

“This is the last of them Captain.” He said before walking out of the room.

Captain Razzik was lost in the labyrinth of his thoughts as he watched the marine exit the bridge. The voice of Second Captain Ruusa echoed around his consciousness, the words made no sense but he knew they were Ruusa’s. Razzik relived conversations with Chaplain Cyaxeres and the Priest Attikusu, even Sergeant Muttabriqu appeared. Their mouths moved but the voice of Ruusa continued. As the storm of images subsided and the voice of the deceased Ruusa dissipated, a crackling image of Techmarine Philosir took over.

The most recent in the string of memories dominated his thoughts. Every department of his mind focused on the techmarine. Philosir had appeared battle weary. His meticulously maintained armor was heavily damaged.

Razzik knew Philosir had to of seen intense combat to appear that broken. Yet when he spoke, the same monotone voice echoed. No hint of his feelings, no inkling to explain how damaged he was, simply the same monotone voice he had used in every conversation Razzik could recall.

“……………we were successful……”

“only three of us……..”

“…………..Dark Eldar”

“third planet…….”

“……………we were successful……”

“……intense pursuit……”

“only three of us……..”

Key phrases repeated in Philosir’s monotone voice.

Around the image of Philosir, pictures of the lost marines appeared like one of his pre war reports. The cold efficient side, the Ice Angel side of his mental process removed the fallen marines from his list of assets.

With great mental effort he pushed aside the images and sat up from his throne. He looked around the room one last time. The ork monitors were dark. The speakers were silent. He turned in front of the throne and witnessed the guards outside waiting for his approach. For a moment he truly felt alone, but as his body adjusted so did his hearing. Distant sounds seemed to get louder as he involuntarily focused on them.

The creaks of the ship, the footfalls of the marines, the quite words of his men formed a cadence in his head. He reached for his helm as the sounds grew in his thoughts. He looked down into his helm. The multiple layers of metal and plastics would protect him in battle. The reinforced multi-lock seal would provide safety in the void. The filtration system would cleanse the air his body couldn’t normally withstand.

However, as he looked down at the helm he paused. No part of his helm would protect him from the weight of command that it represented.

The pic screen in his other hand flashed several times, the entire screen hesitated on black. As he brought the screen up it zoomed out. The third planet was now only a marble amongst a black back drop. Over a dozen red icons popped up on the screen. Dotted lines formed behind them to show trajectories. Amongst the ever-growing red dots, a lone blue icon floated like a lifeboat surrounded by abyssal drakes. Every path on the screen led to the third planet.

As red icons continued to appear further and further away he thumbed the off switch.

Captain Razzik looked at the open passage ahead of him. He looked back to his helm. This was it, he thought to himself. He didn’t like the odds, nor did he like how he got there, but he knew what had to be done. He was the eleventh captain of the Ice Angels, if he died, he’d die for the Emperor.

In one fluid motion he slammed the helm onto his reinforced collar. With several clicks and a hiss it sealed him in. With one final deep breath he took a step forward. He walked tall as he approached the door.

“For Ruusa” he whispered as he approached the door way.

“For the Emperor!” he shouted as he passed through.

“For the Emperor!” the guards shouted as they fell into step behind him.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/04/13 00:32:28


   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

Excellently done! I'd like to offer more, but there isn't much more to say. You've gotten really good at writing. I can't wait for more
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Madison, WI

Very nice Ice.

Anvildude: "Honestly, it's kinda refreshing to see an Ork vehicle that doesn't look like a rainbow threw up on it."

Gitsplitta's Unified Painting Theory
 
   
Made in nz
Strategizing Grey Knight Chapter Master





Auckland New Zealand

Yay, more of Ice's writing.

Only 3 marines.... wow, you sure do like to cull the herd so to speak. Can't wait to see what happens next!

IceAngel wrote:I must say Knightley, I am very envious of your squiggle ability. I mean, if squiggles were a tactical squad, you'd be the sergeant. If squiggles were an HQ, you'd be the special character. If squiggles were a way of life, you'd be Doctor Phil...
The Cleanest Painting blog ever!
Gitsplitta wrote:I am but a pretender... you are... the father of all squiggles. .
 
   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

Thanks guys. I'm not sure what came over me the past few days but I've gotten a surprisingly large amount of writing done. Hence my post being a few weeks early! Its good to see my fluff page still has some subscribers despite being away from it for so long. At least it feels like I've been away for a long time.

As some of you may recall I've included some random orks names over the past ten pages of fluff. Many of which are great and have a good orky feel. I however, require more names. I think its time for my first Ice Angel Fluff contest! It doesn't have anything to do with Ice Angels, it is in fact all about orks. SO, give me your best orky names. If I like it and you pass the cut, your name just might be immortalized in my fluff. Not much of a prize, but hey, it sounds good right?


   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Eternal Plague

Grazgab Ickfyngurz

   
Made in nz
Strategizing Grey Knight Chapter Master





Auckland New Zealand

Boff Garkin
Arrrold Warts'in'ages
Bigstick Urty'head
Lots'a teef
Not'sa'many teef
Lawrench Rippingface
Ironjaw smasha'head
Mad Dok Poke ya eyez
Big Mek Tri'dis
Lil grot get outta'dere
Warp head batshoe insane'o

I'm sure I'll think of more later on.

IceAngel wrote:I must say Knightley, I am very envious of your squiggle ability. I mean, if squiggles were a tactical squad, you'd be the sergeant. If squiggles were an HQ, you'd be the special character. If squiggles were a way of life, you'd be Doctor Phil...
The Cleanest Painting blog ever!
Gitsplitta wrote:I am but a pretender... you are... the father of all squiggles. .
 
   
Made in gb
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





United Kingdom

Gretchin Gobbla
Zylophone plonka
Squig Sizzla
Sprog makea
Bone licka
Fire Fanna
Gorkz favarut

Imperial guard - 800 points
Space Marines - 2000 points 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Escanaba Mi

Gizmo Von'buzzsaw III
Splatter De'otterz
Chuck



I dont care how long it take for your story updates as long as they stay good story updates. I know the feeling of traveling the desert then the stars align, the grass grows and a plane full of inpiration crashes on your front lawn and all this happens when you happen to have a few hours and pen+paper.
   
Made in us
Stormin' Stompa





Rogers, CT

You may use Goldmaw GodCrusha if you'd like (name of my dreadnaught armored warboss, if you recall)


   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

WarOne = Grazgab Ickfyngurz

Knightley = Boff Garkin
Arrrold Warts'in'ages
Bigstick Urty'head
Lots'a teef
Not'sa'many teef
Lawrench Rippingface
Ironjaw smasha'head
Mad Dok Poke ya eyez
Big Mek Tri'dis
Lil grot get outta'dere
Warp head batshoe insane'o

Desert_thunder_heart = Gretchin Gobbla
Zylophone plonka
Squig Sizzla
Sprog makea
Bone licka
Fire Fanna
Gorkz favarut


1-i = Gizmo Von'buzzsaw III
Splatter De'otterz
Chuck

Battle Brother Lucifer = Goldmaw GodCrusha


Interesting selection guys. Some of them may make the cut. Any one have any other suggestions?

   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

In the darkness he waited. Waiting for allies, waiting for enemies, he’d forgotten what he was standing in that hall way for, so he stayed, waiting.

He stood next to a tall row of gray crates, leaning against the wall of a narrow corridor. A servo skull twitched on the floor not far from him. It didn’t twitch often, but every time it did he glared at it and his muscles tensed. He wanted to stalk over and crush the remaining life out of it but he knew it was already dead. Tentatively his eyes wandered away from the skull and he reviewed the hallway past him. Bits of cranium and electronics were scattered across the floor to his left from a half dozen crushed or slashed servo skulls.

His gaze traveled down the hall to a series of openings when he felt a slight tremor through the wall and floor. The tremor was followed by a distant grumble, as if someone had poked a fur squig from a deep slumber. The grumble grew until reaching a deep somber tone.

He knew the sound. The engines were at maximum strength. He remembered the feeling. The ork transport was moving as fast as its engines would allow.

The grumble sputtered and paused before roaring louder and settling back into its previous tone. He continued to concentrate on the distant sound when the closer sounds of footfalls disrupted his thoughts.

A leather armored greenskin stepped into the hall way from his left. His massive arms were covered in glyphs and scars. His trousers were covered in belts and straps from which countless teeth, shell casings, and bones dangled. After several more steps he stood amongst the servo skulls bits, only a few feet from the row of gray crates.

“Deh-floaty skolls is gone boss.” The ork quietly spoke, his beady red eyes darted to and fro.

After a moment of silence the ork stepped back as a taller greenskin stepped out of the darkness. His dark gray camouflaged pants had all sorts of belts and straps on them, but instead of teeth and shells he had a string of stikk bombs and two pistols. A bandolier of knives hung across his bare green chest, twin choppas were strapped behind his back.

The taller greenskin looked past the ork in front of him before speaking. “Da Humies is scared of us now, deh can’t get us all. Go get da boyz Grazgab. Is time to’r’take da ship.”

The smaller ork smiled and quickly ran off.

The servo skull twitched on the floor once again. The taller ork, once again alone, took a single step and picked up the servo skull. The ork closely examined the human skull. The cranial cavity was full of metallic bits and tubes. Several wires dangled from the bottom of the skull and while the ork examined it, he traced his finger along the huge gash that ordained the side of the skull. His choppa had pierced the side of the skull and bit deep into the core of the skull.

He manipulated the skull in his hands and looked into its face. The dimmest of lights could be seen in the right eye socket.

He thought of all the deaths the little skulls had caused. The deaths of Slog and Ironjaw were most recent. A similar skull had dropped a frag grenade on Ironjaw who then threw it at Slog. The grenade went off mid air between them and killed them both.

He shook his head at his lost boys. He needed to do something. The scattered greenskins were running and hiding, “We’s need to fight like orkses, not hide like da humies” he mumbled to himself.

Ork boys began to file into the corridor ahead of him. He heard them bickering and pushing each other to get closer to him. They were still determining their own order of rank. He looked out at his new mob.

“Oi! Listen up! We’got all deh skulls dead!” He spiked the skull in his hand onto the metal floor. Parts flew off as it bounced several times. It would never twitch again. “Deez humies tink dey better den us.” The orks shook their heads with anticipation; they were already sucked into the taller orks words.

He slowly walked through them. The orks let him pass. As if leading a herd of animals, they followed him down the hall which opened into a larger foyer near an elevator. As he entered the open area he looked around at the growing horde of greenskins.

“We need to show dem’ittle humies who is boss around’ere.” He drew is choppa and shook it above is head. Orks all around him imitated his actions. “Dis is my ship now!” The orks shouted with excitement. “DIS IS GUBBLEFUZZ’S SHIP!” The orks shouted even louder.

“We’s need to chop’m’dead!” Spittle flew as he shouted.

WE’S need to crush der faces.” He gritted his teeth.

WE’S need to break da heads!” his eyes dilated as some unseen force energy grew about him. The orks all around began to tremble with excitement.

WE’S need to KICK’DER SPLEENS!” Shouts of spleen kicking erupted from orks in the crowd.

All manner of greenskin continued to approach the growing mob. Orks, grots, even squigs seemed unable to resist the pull of Gubblefuzz’s words.

WE’S NEED TA KILL DA HUMIES! FOR MORK’ND’GORK!”

The orks responded with their own roar.

TO DA BRIDG!” The words exploded out of him as if he had been holding them back all his life.

Gubblefuzz drew his other choppa and ran off in a sprint. He felt touched by Gork, or possibly Mork, the mischievous one. He couldn’t remember which was which. Either way, visions of him sitting on the captains chair swam in his head. He growled and shouted with excitement as the growing mob of greenskins followed right behind.

   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Madison, WI

Nice to see the orks get some love. Nice installment Ice.

Anvildude: "Honestly, it's kinda refreshing to see an Ork vehicle that doesn't look like a rainbow threw up on it."

Gitsplitta's Unified Painting Theory
 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Escanaba Mi

"Get to DA CHOPPA!!"

Go Gubblefuzz, git you dem hummies and git dem gud.

   
Made in us
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






Indianapolis

Thank you sirs! This last installment took me awhile to piece out but once I determined what I wanted to happen it was written very quickly. Thank you to those that gave me some orkish names to use. Some of the left overs will be used in the future. Don't hesitate to post more suggestions if more come to mind.


   
Made in gb
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





United Kingdom

Very nice! Gubblefuzz! XD

Imperial guard - 800 points
Space Marines - 2000 points 
   
 
Forum Index » Dakka Fiction
Go to: