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Granted. You have a pale horse. It's rider is freaking you out.

I wish for some modeling time tonight.

Granted , nude modeling in Central Park. You misunderstood the exhibitionist art gallery association's flyer.

I wish I had a belt.

Granted. You have a loop of flexible material used to mechanically link two or more rotating shafts, most often parallel.

I wish the events of Ghostbusters were real and that I was accepted by Ghostbusters International.

Granted, the events are real in your mind but the medication does help those feelings to subside in your 6'x6' padded room.

I wish I had the ability to sleep peacefully.

Granted, you rest in peace forever.

I wish monies! MORE MONIES!

Granted. You spend the rest of your days counting and wrapping pennies.

I wish my superglue was super-er.

Granted, your glue is now so good it sticks to the tube and won't ever come out.



I wish to know how to patch KDE2 under FreeBSD.

I... Have no idea what that is.

I wish that I won that GW golden ticket.

Granted but it melts in the sun (much like their other product).

I wish I had more cold beer, friggin more yerrrrp

Granted, but it is Genny Light and/or Keystone Light. Both are pretty repulsive. I mean seriously, you'll be hung over before you ever gt drunk.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

Granted. You are a tireless Keystone Light salesman.

I wish Ii had not run out of Moosehead.

You grow antlers.


I wish I had more time to paint.

Granted, but you have nothing you can paint.

I wish Trevor Phillips would be in the new Fire Emblem game.

Granted, but he isn't.

I wish I had more moneh.

Granted but you receive a knock off painting of Monet instead.

Damn typos...

I wish I had my youth back.

Granted. you have the same back you had when you were 6 months old. Go ahead, lift something.

I wish for some gold paint that applies easily and doesn't get streaky or clumpy or glittery. Just good gold paint.

Granted. You open it up to start painting get distracted and it dries out completely.

I wish for cake.

Granted. You get a cake in the mail. It was mailed to you for your 5th birthday and sort of got lost on the way. The package also appears to have been used as an impromptu volleyball at one point.

I wish for paint that won't dry out so quickly.

Granted. It can never dry.

I wish to know what would happen if Trevor from GTA V was in Game of Thrones.

Granted, Drogo eats his heart and then follows the tattoo instructions of "cut here"

I wish I can spend more time with my son at home.

Granted. Your son never leaves home. When he's 30, he may start taking the trash out.

I wish fore some more good chicken wings.

Granted. You have a foursome and more with old ladies who have good chicken wings that flap in the breeze.

I wish life wasn't so easy.

Granted. Just wait.

I wish for the power of Greyskull.

Granted, but it's a cheap 2010's gritty Michael Bay knock-off.

I wish for a sheep.

Granted. A Coyote steals it.

I wish for some new paint.

Granted, it was new 20 years ago.

I wish I had someone to paint my Napoleonics.

Granted, but they will all have Lasguns.

I wish I wasn't so lonely.

Granted. Your house is now infested with rodents and cockroaches to keep you company.

I wish I wasn't so damn lazy.

Granted. Everyone chides you for working too hard.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

Granted, you wish you could think of anything but you no longer can.

I wish people were more deadly in swimming pools to gophers.