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Granted, the moment a gopher falls into a swimming pool, people start spouting electricity.

I wish the fortunes in fortune cookies came true.

Granted but the fortunes aren't worth the paper they are printed on.

I wish I knew how to paint my 28mm La Haye Sainte farmhouse.

Granted. You are sucked into the space-time continuum and deposited outside of the farmhouse, where you are given a bucket of paint and a swift kick in the arse and told, "Get to work!". They also tell you to ignore those drums in the distance....

I wish more people played Bolt Action.

Granted, but they all play the same Internet built list, of the same army.

I wish snurl senpai would notice me!

Granted. You are noticed as you back over my foot with your car.

I wish there was more pizza here, that last piece was excellent.

Granted, there is more pizza but it's on the floor because your roommate just threw it up. Enjoy!

I wish I had another peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Granted. Its right there under the Pizza I just spewed out.

I wish to paint more tanks.

Granted; but they are pink and blue and they are hidden all over your yard, there's like a 1000 of them...

I wish I had the GW Golden Ticket.

Granted. You tear open a box and there it is. Unfortunetly the offer expired years ago. Like all my Skullz did.

I wish to know what GW is trying to do.

Granted. You know what they are trying to do. It makes no sense and is unfathomable for us commoners so you are unable to tell others about it.

I wish I didn't just step in that....

Granted, but "that" happens to be a single rock in the middle of 200 square KM lake of lava.

I too wish to paint more tanks.

Granted. But each time you finish one three more take its place.

I wish to get some sleep now.

Granted, I chloroform you.

I wish the ork army I want, would buy it self for me.

Granted. The Ork army buys itself for you using your money. It will arrive in three weeks. You are now so far in debt you will have to immediately place the models on e-bay just to have enough money to file for bankruptcy.

I wish for 1 night of decent rest.

Granted however it occurs in Alaska when you only get one hour of nighttime.

I wish to paint my terrain faster

Granted. Now you paint NASCAR banners and racing product ads all over your terrain, which looks much faster.

I wish to work with Cell-u-clay again.

Granted, you are encased in paper mâché.

I wish I didn't stand up to Kripke in 5th grade.

Granted. You did it in the second grade, and life was much different ever after. And you get a fish slap.

I wish to do the right thing.

Granted however the left thing wishes to do you.

I wish to be able to travel to Belgium.

Granted, here's a walking stick, and a inflatable raft.

I wish I knew why I'm so weird.

Granted. You're pretty sure that putting on your shoes and socks in that order has something to do with it.

I wish the next corrupted wish to be beneficial to it's wisher.

Granted. It allows me to kick you into a pit of lava.

I wish for balanced 40k codexes.

Granted however Snurl had all of them and you so cleverly kicked him into a pit of lava.

I wish Egypt didn't suspend all of their football matches due to riots.

Granted. Nowdays their football matches are riots.

I wish to be Lava-Proof.

Granted but you are no longer air proof.

I wish I wasn't hungover

Granted. You are hung-under a bridge instead.

I wish to acquire the miniatures I seek without a lot of hassle.

Granted, but you get in trouble with the Swedish mafia.

I wish I had money.

Granted, you wish you HAD it but I now HAVE it and I have paid off my debts to Jabba the Hutt.

I wish my other car was the Slave 1

Granted. However Boba Fett is not pleased that you stole his ship. Don't run. You'll only die tired.


I wish that I had the power of Greyskull.

Granted but it's the discounted version and comes with battle damage.

I wish this thread was longer