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Granted. You now work in a pubic library, where you restock the shelves and are forbidden from reading any of the material.

I wish I was happier.

Granted. You are now sadder.

I wish I was buddies with Varro Tigurius.

Granted, but a Tyranid noms your face in your first battle.

I wish that I could go without eating food.

Granted. You die of starvation.

I wish that I wasn't Varro Tigurius.

Granted. You are Bob, from accounting.

I wish the skunks would migrate.

Granted. They all migrate to your house.

I wish people would come up with better corruptions.

Granted, the corruptions are now more better. So corrupt you calculator gets a virus.

I wish my head had three eyes.

Granted. Third eye is inside your mouth looking inside your gullet.

I wish for better internet connection.

Granted. But you have to plug one of your appendages into an electrical socket to use it.

I wish for a model of the drop ship from the Aliens movies.

Granted, but it's 1:1 scale.

I wish for good grades in my exams.

1-1 scale!

Granted. You get good grades in your exams. You utterly fail the finals.

I wish skunks did not stink.

Granted. They reek.

I wish I could find $9000 In the street

Granted but you had to "work" for it and you had to spend $9000 on knee pads in order to find it from the street.

I wish my TV wasn't 72"

Granted. Its 72mm instead.

I wish I had a big TV.

Granted. It's a small TV.

I wish I could change my handle to "Mad Dok Grotsnik"

Granted, it's changed but everyone sees it as Kaptin Badrukk.

Hours later I can edit. No, my son fell and got hurt so posting here was not important.

I wish I had more band aids

 JamesGang wrote:
Granted, it's changed but everyone sees it as Kaptin Badrukk.

Running out of wishes?

See above for edit... Sorry to break thread

 JamesGang wrote:
Granted, it's changed but everyone sees it as Kaptin Badrukk.

Hours later I can edit. No, my son fell and got hurt so posting here was not important.

I wish I had more band aids

Granted, they are stolen.

I wish I could do better conversion.

Granted, all of your models convert to wasted time and money.

I wish I had more help around the house

Granted-- you have a host of helpers who perform all manner of chores for you diligently, but you don't quite like how they did their job and you go back and redo it yourself anyways.

I wish for a bountiful birthday in terms of acquiring new models.

Granted. Your parents forget about your birthday.

I wish that Thread Necromancy didn't happen.

Granted. It didn't happen. You have used so much spice you are folding space and seeing the future. What you percieve as threadromancy is actually posts happening back in real time.

I wish it had not snowed AGAIN this morning.

Granted. Snow paralyzes your area.

I wish red cars went faster in real life.

Granted, they go 1% faster. They also waste 10% more fuel.

I wish for impeccable painting skills.

KaptinBadrukk wrote:Granted. Your parents forget about your birthday.

I'm not sure you quite get how this thread works. The wish has to be granted-- don't just say granted. By saying I don't have a birthday, that would imply I don't get my wish at all. Instead, it has to be twisted into something I wouldn't expect, e.g. I am buried alive under boxes of minis/I end up paying for a lot of shipping/we get a citation from the local authorities for having so much junk strewn across my front lawn. By saying my birthday is forgotten, you are not corrupting my wish, you are simply denying it, which really isn't that fun to read.
Sorry for the , I just wanted to try to explain the difference.

Sgt_Smudge wrote:Granted, they go 1% faster. They also waste 10% more fuel.

I wish for impeccable painting skills.

Granted. Your painting skills attract such interest from your fellow hobbyists that you are quickly propelled into fame and stardom in the world of tabletop painting. Fame and fortune are yours, and so are the Golden Demons year after year... until tfg who was ousted into second place in said competitions stabs you to death with his sharpened paintbrush.

I wish for some nice, crispy bacon.

 KommissarKiln wrote:

KaptinBadrukk wrote:Granted. Your parents forget about your birthday.

I'm not sure you quite get how this thread works. The wish has to be granted-- don't just say granted. By saying I don't have a birthday, that would imply I don't get my wish at all. Instead, it has to be twisted into something I wouldn't expect, e.g. I am buried alive under boxes of minis/I end up paying for a lot of shipping/we get a citation from the local authorities for having so much junk strewn across my front lawn. By saying my birthday is forgotten, you are not corrupting my wish, you are simply denying it, which really isn't that fun to read.
Sorry for the , I just wanted to try to explain the difference.

Sgt_Smudge wrote:Granted, they go 1% faster. They also waste 10% more fuel.

I wish for impeccable painting skills.

Granted. Your painting skills attract such interest from your fellow hobbyists that you are quickly propelled into fame and stardom in the world of tabletop painting. Fame and fortune are yours, and so are the Golden Demons year after year... until tfg who was ousted into second place in said competitions stabs you to death with his sharpened paintbrush.

I wish for some nice, crispy bacon.

Ok. Let's try again.

Granted. You are buried under boxes of minis.

I wish I was more awesome.

Granted, you are now so awesome that you morph into a Kardashian. Lucky you! So damn awesome!

I wish my home brew was ready.

Granted, however the still attracted the authorities and due to moonshine laws you are now jailed indefinitely.

I wish it hadn't snowed. Again. Damn Buffalo spring. Here we are 3 days from April and we get snow.

Granted, it didn't snow. It is all a figment of your wonderful imagination as you pace your 6x6 padded room and drool on yourself.

I wish I could visit the sanitarium