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Granted. Its very dirty.

I wish rebasing wasn't so tedious.

Granted, you dont think rebasing is tedious at all and continually rebase your figures and never play a game again as all you do habitually rebase miniatures. You love doing it. It is your addiction,

I wish almond butter tasted better

Granted. It tastes so good you spend $99999.99 on it.

I wish I could corrupt more wishes.

Granted, you are the new Chaos God of corrupting. However, a Mary Sue Grey Knight known as Draigo hunts you down and erases you.

I wish that I could start again.

Granted. You begin all over again. But you fail to penetrate the egg and wind up never happening at all.

I wish my wife would not snore so loud.

Granted, She no longer snores. Instead she stays up all night asking you questions resulting in you getting less sleep then before.

I wish I wasn't so poor.

Granted. You are so rich you don't know what to do.

I wish BA and Ultramarines actually worked together.

Granted, they are so effective, no force can withstand them. They are the only living things in the galaxy after a fatal miscommunication, and are then incapable of breeding. Congratulations.

I wish that all of my headcanons are canon.

Granted. They are so real.

I wish Dakka had a chat room.

Granted. It does. But you can not find it.

I wish for a better attitude.

Granted, it's better but still very negative.

I wish my stomach was not upset.

Granted. It is merely startled, but stays that way for days until you hit the correct food combo to calm it down.

I wish I didn't have to wait until fall for more Walking Dead.

Granted. The show is cancelled.

I wish I could buy house without going on tick.

I had to look up what "on tick" meant...

 Reinokarite wrote:
Granted. The show is cancelled.

I wish I could buy house without going on tick.

Granted. You master the art of negotiations and convince the previous owner to sell to you for twenty bucks. You get so good that you can convince anyone of anything simply by saying it. One day, you sarcastically mention out loud that you'd rather be dead than go to work. A passerby overhears and shoots you in the face, thinking he's doing you a favor.

I wish I could play video games at work.

Granted, you are not paid for it.

I wish I had an accordion.

Granted. It breaks when you get it.

I wish there was no trolls on Dakka.

Granted, I got ninja'd.

I wish I had more "sweet nutrients"

Granted, they prove highly addictive and you spend the rest of your life in rehabilitation.

I wish Tumblr feminists would shut up.

Granted, they shut up, but in their absence you are deaf to all but the radicalized anarcho-socialist nudists. Terrible, just terrible.

I wish to enhance my creative writing skills and exploit them for money.

Granted,you exploit your skills and write scripts for dirty movies. They are even more terrible than ever and you do not make money in the long run. You abandon your creative writing.

I wish I had coffee

Granted, it turns to dust in your mouth.

I wish I had a Vladimir Putin hand puppet.

Granted. It bites you whenever you aren't looking.

I wish for more free stretch goals.

Granted. Every Kickstarter project you have absolutely no interest in backing increases their free stretch goals.

I wish to win my 900 point game against IF tonight with my Tyranids.

Granted. You win narrowly.

I wish for the Sanguine Strike Company.

Granted, you fight tooth and nail for an offer on Ebay with an initial price of $25. After weeks of ferocious bidding, you win the auction, but at the cost of paying an additional 800% for your minis.

No wish-- let's see what happens to me.

Nothing shall happen to you.

I wish for a major winter storm.

Granted,you receive three snowflakes and a sprinkling of freezing rain that melts before it hits the ground.


I wish Kommissar Kiln wished I had wished for him with his wish.

Granted, I shall wish, but the word "wish" has been used so many times I'm not sure what you just said.

I wish you wished for me with my wish... I think.

Granted. You wish.

I wish for nice spring days.

Granted, you are snowed in with 20 feet of snow.

I wish for a major severe weather outbreak.