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Boom!

Squished, Did I read it right, did the armored worm use the inside of its mouth to crush the marine or did it squish it with the bottom of its jaw? I read it as inside the mouth.

I do love the action sequences Ice.

Knightley wrote:Boom!

Squished, Did I read it right, did the armored worm use the inside of its mouth to crush the marine or did it squish it with the bottom of its jaw? I read it as inside the mouth.

I do love the action sequences Ice.

Thanks guys! I'm glad you liked it. I may have to reword a section if you thought it crushed it Kvothe with the inside of his mouth. I envisioned the worm closing up its multi-jawed mouth and smashing down into the road where Kvothe was standing.

OH, before I forget. In the previous section some one made reference to the starship trooper bugs. The giant birds are similar to the bugs in general shape (four legs, head built into core body mass, no neck, etc), but think of mine more like an ostrich without the long neck, an extra set of legs, an extra pair of eyes, and a bigger head with a razor sharp beak. That help?

One more thing, the next person to read this post something so I can put up MORE STORY!

IceAngel wrote:One more thing, the next person to read this post something so I can put up MORE STORY!

By your command!


Hehehe! Loving the story! The squad's numbers slowly wither.... Epic fight scenes!

Inushi crushed another flying creature in his fist. Before discarding the limp form he looked down at his small adversary. It had tiny eyes and large ears. Very miniscule but incredibly sharp teeth lined its long beak like jaw. On its wings were dagger thin bone spurs that could scratch power armor. It reminded him of the giant quad winged bats of his home world.

With disgust he tossed the body over his shoulder and looked for another target. In front of him was the veteran unit, the Ashurbani. Their flamers were proving a great asset against the swarms of flying beasts. The veterans had formed on a large pile of rubble, shooting gouts of flame into the sky. Burning vermin plummeted to the ground like comets entering the atmosphere.

To Inushi’s right was one of the two vindicators. The Crystalfist had already defeated one of the large worms, its demolisher cannon piercing through the armored hide and exploding it from the inside. It was now navigating past a recently destroyed building heading towards its next target.

To Inushi’s left was the gravel road that exited down the craters exterior. A low flying raven hovered over head towards the Crystalfist. The raven’s weapon systems were clearing out a large swarm of the fliers as the vindicator got into position to fire.

Inushi turned away from the scene of destruction towards the hunched form of Philosir. The tech marine was examining the remains of the other vindicator. The tank was upside down but mainly intact. The pilot and gunner had both survived and were standing next to Philosir. Inushi could easily tell they were pissed. They hadn’t fired once before their tank had been flipped by an emerging worm. Its massive corpse lay next to the tank.

“We are never going to hear the end of this.” One of them said while quickly turning away from the tank. He pulled out his pistol and fired at some approaching fliers. Each round killed one or more creatures. He fired the entire clip and not one flier reached his armor or landed on his flipped tank. Slowly he reloaded his white bolt pistol.

“I can already hear them laughing.” The other said while shaking his head.

“Shattermantle’s Wrath will be up and running once we get her back on her tracks.” Philosir began, his monotone voice speaking very quickly and concise. “She’s angry, and damaged, but the main systems are still functioning. Once the Crystalfist returns have Zarva roll you back onto your tracks. In the meantime assist the Ashurbani.”

Both marines saluted as Philosir stepped away from tank. He marched over to the exploded worm. On the way he paused and looked up into the sky. A swarm singled out the tech marine and dove down at him. Philosir responded with a frag missile and a long discharge of his heavy flamer. Ash and cinders floated down from the sky when he was done.

Inushi followed behind the tech marine. Occasionally he fired into the sky with his plasma pistol when a swarm flew directly over head. When he was within arms reach of Philosir a swarm surprised Inushi and attacked him from behind. He felt the impacts and heard his armor being torn up. The little beasts screeched as they smashed into his recently replaced backpack and shoulder pads.

Philosir turned and fired his heavy flamer directly over Inushi’s head. Involuntarily he ducked down. Seconds later Philosir turned back around and without comment began to investigate the worm.

“What are you looking for?” Inushi asked.

One of Philosir’s ocular units regarded Inushi as he responded, “Anything out of the ordinary.”

Inushi looked around at the giant worm and the rubble that surrounded him. He witnessed another worm burst from the rubble covered streets. Marines scattered to avoid the falling debris as trees and rocks were hurtled into the air from its entrance. A storm eagle flew by launching a pair of missiles into its flank tearing a giant gash into the worm’s side before it fell over. It had died nearly as fast as it had emerged.

“What’s ordinary?” Inushi thought to himself. He wondered what the tech marine could be looking for. He wondered how long he’d be on this worm filled mountain. Most of all he wondered if he would ever get some answers.

Philosir began moving towards the mouth of the dead worm. He walked around the front of the worm. The mouth was wide open. As the tech marine gazed inside the creatures inviting jaws Inushi stood next to him. The sounds of another approaching swarm tickled the back of his thoughts. He pivoted and fired his plasma pistol as Philosir sent another gout of flame at an incoming swarm. When they were done they returned to the gaping maw.

Inushi could see down the worms throat to where the demolisher round had exploded. The round had entered from the left creating a chest size entry hole. To the right was the exit wound, a vast uneven wound that a unit of marines could easily pass through. Light was shining into the worm’s long body through the massive hole in its skin illuminating the debris it had consumed.

Philosir stepped onto a section of the lower jaw and reached for his axe.

Inushi’s curiosity was peaked at this. Philosir had found something but as Inushi scanned the inside of the worm he saw nothing but slick gray flesh, giant teeth, and stone debris. The red armored marine began to walk on the jaw further into the creature’s throat.

The loud whine of engines made Inushi turn. A raven was trying to pull itself free of a worm that had bit down on its tail wing. An assault squad was descending out of the sky towards the worm, melta bombs and krak grenades in hand. A swarm was following the assault unit. One of the marines suddenly altered his trajectory. He was battling several of the fliers as he tumbled through the sky. Instead of landing near the worm his squad was assaulting he fell some where between the worm and Inushi.

He didn’t see the marine’s landing but ran off to assist. Not even an astartes could have landed that fall uninjured.

Last sentence: "marines" needs an apostrophe.

Very nice installment. You get the impression that while there is clearly plenty of fighting going on, things are winding down a bit... just a bit. The initial clash and chaos is over and now roving bands of monsters and men react to one another's presence.

Nicely done.

Gits is quite right, you've gotten great at controlling the tempo of each installment.

Most of all, he wondered if he would ever get some answers

Will we?

As always, looking forward to more!

Thanks guys! Gits, I appreciate you checking my grammar as always. It has been edited. Prime, I'm glad you pointed out that little sentence I slipped in there.

Will we get answers? Who knows?

Read the odd entry here and there and i like what i read. You are very professional when it comes to writing and have an enviable focus.

Thought i would go over the latest entry as you seem to want more Constructive criticism. Warning this is Fine tooth Comb stuff, if you ignored the points it would still be fine. My strength is not grammar, (my strength is coming off sounding pedantic ) so all i can offer you is my 'unique insight'

small adversary. It had small eyes and large ears. Very small but incredibly sharp teeth

Maybe toss a 'tiny' in there? Not sure, thats more personal as it still reads good.

(he)looked for another target. In front of him were the Ashurbani.

Now i dove straight into this entry having not read the last couple so from this i assumed the Ashurbani were the enemy. I later deduced they are allies. Even so i think the flowing of these sentences into each other is unfortunate.

(the tank)dropped one of the large worms

they were pissed

Two uses of slang which i thought were incongrous. Also would marines be 'pissed'?

Its mammoth corpse

something about this irked me, if it were describing a machine or vehicle it would be fine (Pathetic Fallacy) but another animal? Doesnt sit right for me, i immediately pictured an actual dead mammoth and had to do a double take. tbh If the sentence didnt begin with this description i think it would work fine.

If you are talking about storm-ravens and not actual ravens i think you need a capital. Dont quote me on that one.

Once the Crystalfist returns have Zarva get you guys back on your tracks. In the meantime assist the Ashurbani

Dont really like the way he is chummy one moment 'get you guys...' Then straight into stern military commander, 'in the meantime.....'

(he)fired his heavy flamer directly over Inushi’s head. Involuntarily he ducked down

Probably the only 'clanger' imo. If a stream of Burning Napalm was shot at my head, i assure you, a duck would be very voluntary.

Inushi looked around at the giant worm and the rubble around him

Again a totally pedantic one, this one does need changing imo as it doesnt read great with the two 'arounds'.

handful of missiles into this side

It's? If not you have lapsed into second person. Also you have used 'side' again when describing where the worm is hit. 'Flank'?

It had died nearly as fast as it had emerged.

This criticism is completely obtuse but did the worm emerge quickly? It is not described so, it merely says it emerged, not bursting out of the ground or anything.

the creatures inviting jaws

A giant fanged mouth is inviting? I know what you are trying to say but usually it would be something like 'Perversely the toothy maw was almost inviting'.

entry hole; to the right was the exit wound, a vast uneven wound

Again this is grammar so dont quote me but shouldnt the semi-colon be after 'exit wound' rather than 'hole'? You are listing the wounds (commas) then elaborating on the second (semi colon). The third sentence in this paragraph also needs a comma before 'illuminating' i think.

That's all for now. This took about 30 minutes longer than i thought lol. Being an editor must be a sucky job!

Thanks Perkustin for the great suggestions. You bring up some great points. I'll do some word tweaking this weekend and let you know when I'm done.

And yes, marines get pissed, lol.

Yeah most of it was more suggestions than actual errors. Glad you approved!

Ok, i went back and did some editing. Let me know what you think.

“SQWUAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

The giant avian quadruped screamed as it stood up on its hind legs. Its front two claws scratched at the air before they came crashing down onto Captain Razzik’s raised shield. Two talons reached over the top edge of the shield as Razzik held his ground, the strength of the creature was greater then he anticipated. Razzik looked up into the bird’s four eyes and saw nothing but fury. Reports from Sergeants and pilots in the second company continued to flash in his HUD, several of which had urgent tags as he strained to maintain his shields protective position.

Bolter fire from Brother Grax plunged into the birds flank and the dark feathered beast released one of its talons from Razzik’s shield. In response Razzik pushed his shield wide and stepped forwards. The bird lashed forward with a razor sharp beak as Razzik reached with his white powerfist.

A flashing report from Raven six floated atop the stacks of updates awaiting his attention.

Razzik grasped the bottom beak and wrenched the birds face aside when the top beak came down onto his gauntlet enclosed fingers. A screeched exited the creature as the charge from the fist fried the nerve endings in its face.

A long leg punched Razzik in the side hard enough to knock him away from the bird. He landed in a kneeling position with his shield dug into the ground. In his right hand the large bottom beak of the creature was still held in his grip.

The screeching bird took a step forward, its top jaw flailing about, as another bolter round from Brother Grax penetrated the side of its skull and exploded out the other. Before the body had hit the ground Brother Grax was firing at another target.

Captain Razzik stood and brought his shield up quickly scanning the skirmish in front of him. Vetov and a dozen others engage with close combat weapons as the others continued to support. Several marines were wounded but not out of the fight, only a single marine was critically injured. Attikusu, the Sanguinary Priest, had already been notified.

With a simple blink of an eye the report from raven six came up in his HUD. Images of the ork convoy flashed. They too had become under siege from the winged creatures and the flightless beasts the second company was fighting. The short video clips depicted battlewagons and trucks rolling over the four legged monsters. Shots of the flying swarms eviscerating scores of orks were some what satisfying, but Razzik pushed any emotion aside.

“Raven five, belay previous order.” Razzik commanded. An affirmative blip crossed his HUD as he returned his focus to the birds in front of him. A vicious flock of them were still engaged with his marines.

As he absorbed the action he saw Sergeant Maranu disembowel one bird as he sliced off the leg of another. Brother Thukoo sent a beam from his lascannon through several birds still exiting the tunnel. Sergeant Shar-Takazz leapt off the corpse of one bird onto another, jabbing his lightning claw into the bird’s neck before sending super heated plasma into the back of the birds skull. Brother Kuri and Balathu battled several birds side by side with combat knifes and chainswords.

With uncanny efficiency Razzik analyzed the scene and before he had drawn another breath charged back into the fray, exactly where he was needed.

WHY ARE THEY ON THIS CRAZY PLANNET!!!

seriously though, really liking the story as it develops and also the way you post the sections, little and often. Keep up the good work

WHY ARE THEY ON THIS CRAZY PLANNET!!!

Purge.


And as if things weren't crazy enough here come the orkies.

Woo-hooo! It's party time!! Go, go gadget Razzik!

@ Bigfish - I'm glad you like the format in which I post. I can't really imagine doing it other way, especially after doing it for several years now. It still seems funny to me that its taken several years to get this far. I wonder how long it will take me to tell it all. There is still SO MUCH TO WRITE!

Inigo was running full speed along the side of a crawling worm; its bulky form was more then three times his height. Its methodical movement was propelling it towards the tiered side of the crater where the Shwando were positioned. Up ahead Inigo could see the heavy weapons from the devastator unit firing in concentrated firing lanes at other targets. Sergeant Bal-Hando was firing his combi-flamer at the swarms as the heavy bolters in his unit eviscerated the flying swarms.

“Hit it!” Nefas demanded “bring it to us” he hissed through the vox.

Inigo didn’t see the logic in the command but in the next step he let his grip slip on his hammer away from the head down the long metallic shaft. Without looking he grasped the very end of the hammer. In his next step he brought up the hammer and grabbed it with his other hand. The next step included a side swipe into the flank of the worm.

Embedded rocks and dirt fell off the worm’s side. The impact cracked the hardened carapace of the worm. The damage began to fill with a slow bloody ooze, however the worm didn’t seem to notice. Disappointed with his results Inigo planted his feet for another swing before the front of the worm casually reached up in the air.

The toothy maw of the worm opened as it contorted over itself. Inigo envisioned the bloody remains of Kvothe as he sprinted towards Nefas and Jaska.

Nefas was in the middle of a road thirty yards away next to a giant hole the worm had emerged from. The black armored marine was adjusting several settings on a flip screen built into his bolter. Jaska knelt beside him with a stack of ammunition drums. Each was large enough to hold an entire belt of ammo for a heavy bolter.

The mountain suddenly shook as the worm crashed into the ground directly behind him. Inigo nearly fell as the ground beneath him trembled. After several awkward steps he continued running. Nefas finished his adjustments then pointed his bolter towards Inigo and the worm.

Inigo didn’t need to look to know the worm was right behind him, but for some reason he was more concerned with Nefas and his bolter. It appeared as if it was aimed right at him.

He didn’t have a moment to voice his concerns before the bolter opened fire. A bizarre purple flash was accompanied by an electrical crackle. A stream of bullet casings spewed out the side of the weapon and cascaded to the ground. Inigo experienced a moment of intense shock as his mind prepared his body for the inevitable gun shot wounds. Yet it never happened. Inigo nearly fell at the realization that Nefas was shooting directly at him yet no bullets were hitting him. In fact there weren’t any bullets in the air.

Nefas wasn’t moving or shaking as he fired. The weapon gave off no recoil. With a loud clank the weapon ceased firing. Nefas hit the body of the weapon with a satisfying slap to disengage the drum. It fell as Jaska handed him another drum. With a fluid motion he slammed the new one into place. A split second later the purple flashing resumed.

The pair of marines depleted the second drum and reloaded a third before Inigo reached them. As he did Nefas stopped firing, adjusted his stance, and closed the small flip screen on his bolter. A long cord dangled from the stock to the side of his helm. He unplugged himself and let the cord reel itself in.

Inigo was astounded and confused. The feeling of imminent peril departed as he realized the sounds of the charging worm were gone. He quickly spun around. The worm was fifteen yards away and collapsing to the ground. Its armored form showed no signs of bullet wounds.

As its body stopped moving Inigo took a step towards it, a wave of blood and shredded flesh oozed out its slack jaws. The blood pooled around the worm’s mouth while Inigo looked on.

“Inigo, come. There is still much to do.” Nefas hissed. The quiet voice of the gaunt marine beckoned him.

After a moment of further observation Inigo turned from the scene and headed towards Jaska and Nefas. The pair of marines were staring down the expansive hole in the road. Jaska took a step closer, leaned over, then jumped it.

The sounds of power armor grinding on stone echoed out of the hole. Nefas paused to regard Inigo.

The two marines were both tall, even by marine standards. Inigo, however, was covered in corded muscle. He smiled and chuckled to himself as he regarded Nefas. The thin marine moved with purpose and seemed to be perpetually ready to strike.

“Still smiling Honored Brother Inigo?” Nefas asked.

The use of his official title made Inigo laugh before he responded, “Am I dead yet?”

Nefas cackled softly before stepping right up to the edge of the hole. He cautiously examined the steep incline of the dark pit.

“See you at the bottom,” Nefas spoke while making a small jump over the edge. Inigo watched the lithe marine lean back as he slid down the side of the incline into the waiting darkness.

The sounds of the sliding marine continued for several moments before they became too distant. Inigo laughed to himself as he thought about what he was about to do.

He took a final look around at the mountain top crater. Ice Angel vessels circled around the mountain. Several were beginning to land once again. The swarms of small fliers had dissipated and as far as Inigo could tell there were only a few worms still fighting.

The site of a distant worm being taken down by a unit of Ice Angels on jump packs made Inigo think of the worm Nefas had just killed. Sunlight was pouring down onto the worm’s corpse. Blood and gore still oozed out of its mouth.


“I wonder what’s next,” Inigo asked himself with a chuckle as he jumped into the hole and slid down after Brother Nefas and Brother Jaska.

Very nice installment Ice. That bolter doesn't sound chapter approved...

Gitsplitta wrote:Very nice installment Ice. That bolter doesn't sound chapter approved...

HAHA! No, but I'm sure some chapters wish it was approved. I don't know why I didn't write more about Nefas before. I am really starting to like him.

It's a Psy-bolter!

Good passage Ice, only one small item I picked up

into the ground directly behind him. Inigo nearly feel as the ground beneath him trembled.

Should it be "into the ground directly behind him. Inigo nearly fell as the ground beneath him trembled."

Awesome installments Ice Keep it up

Thanks guys! Good catch Knightley. It has been corrected.

dig the story dude

After making his way through a ruined building Inushi found himself overlooking a recessed courtyard. There was a chest high wall surrounding the space and several dozen trees lined the perimeter. Their gnarled forms were bent with dark patches of withering leaves.

Inushi jumped through a window opening that hadn’t seen glass in years into the courtyard. At the far end lay the crumpled form of an Ice Angel. He was face down in the mud and a score of the small fliers were diving down at his armored form.

As fast as he could, Inushi crossed the courtyard with his katana in hand. The swarm of fliers dispersed as he approached, several even grazed him as they fled. When Inushi stood over the form only two of them were left. They had found cracks in the marine’s armor and were attempting to nibble at his bare flesh. With a well place swipe the two beasts were both split in two.

Inushi took a final glance around the area before further examining the marine. His jump pack was smashed, as if he had landed on it. Inushi looked back over his shoulder into the courtyard, there were several heavy indentations in the stone work from where the marine must have landed and bounced. In the far corner lay his white chainsword.

The sounds of startled breath from below Inushi made him quickly step aside. The marine was coughing. Inushi sheathed his katana and carefully rolled him over to get him out of the mud. He gingerly leaned the marine back against the stone wall of the courtyard.

“What’s your status brother?” Inushi asked.

The side of the marine’s helm was torn and scratched but still in one piece, only some of the rebreather connections were damaged. The marine moved one arm slowly in a weak attempt to remove his helm. Inushi stopped the marine’s hand and then carefully removed the helm.

It slowly came off and Inushi set it down on the other side of the marine. His pale face was caked in dried blood; the minor wounds were already sealed.

“My suit has lost power and I think my back is broken.” The marine spoke through gritted teeth, “I won’t be awake much,” his eyes fluttered for a moment. Inushi knew the Angel would go into a coma while his body tried to repair itself, but this marine would need aid in order to heal properly.

Inushi knelt over the prone marine to check for other wounds as he called for aid through the vox. One of Attikusu’s assistance gave a curt affirmative.

The sounds of an approaching swarm made Inushi quickly stand. He scanned the tree line when a white armored assault marine landed in the courtyard like a feline hunter. His armor was covered in the blood of various species. His face was torn and full of anger.

“Desai!” Inushi said surprised to see the marine. It had been a long time since they had spoken. “Come to protect the fallen?” he asked.

The Sky Warden took several steps away from Inushi and slowly picked up the white chainsword of the wounded Ice Angel. The sounds of the distant jump packs and muffled explosions made Inushi look to his left.

Without warning a screeching flying bat came out from a nearby tree and smashed into Inushi’s helm with alarming force. The creature quickly flew away but his green helmet was damaged from the attack. He felt the area above his left eye lens with his gauntlet, the gash was through several of the protective levels, had it hit his eye lens he may have gone partially blind.

“By the Emperor that was close,” Inushi spoke. When he looked over, the courtyard was empty.

Oooh Desai is on the loose!

They scratched his helmet! The flying little ***tards!

Its ok Gits, you can fix it afterwards nothing a little green-stuff cant repair!

As always Ice, very nice addition to the story!

Enjoying this story the more i read.

Knightley wrote:Oooh Desai is on the loose!

Indeed, the raging Sky Warden is going crazy.

@ Gitsplitta = You didn't complain about the orks tearing up his gear, yet when a bat does it you get offended. Interesting.....

@ Bobakos = Thanks guys

@ cormadepanda = Thank you sir! How far along are you?