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Granted, you now live in a Murphy bed to have the space.

I wish I had ice cream.

Granted. Your blood is now ice cream.

I wish for a pot of Wild Rider Red on my desk.

Granted, but it replaces everything else on your desk.

I wish I was Obama.

Granted. you are President Obumma.

I wish I was an angry politician.

Granted. You were Idi Amin in a past life.

I wish to have a few beers.

Granted. You recieve pi beers. They never show up because the universe is trying to calculate pi.

I wish for pie on my table, that does not replace everything nor pose any risk to my or others' physical, mental or emotional health, not the integrity of any of my possessions.

Granted. You get 3.14 pies on the table.

I wish for a watch in Texas

Granted. There is a watch somewhere in Texas. But even if you find it, you'll discover that its wound too tight.

I wish for some good fried chicken for supper tonight.

Granted. You get some good fried chicken for dinner. However due to food poisoning at lunch your are unable to eat it.

I wish to have fun at UBCon's massive Nerf War tonight and tomorrow.

Granted. Your fun is so massive, you have a hard time not having fun.

I wish for a Class 3 Outbreak

Granted. It has no symptoms and no method of transmission.

I wish for a mentally disturbed llama.

Granted. You have a class 3 outbreak of Vegetarianism.

I wish for Nerf wars here.

Granted, the llama chews grass and spits at you, constantly.

I wish for some of Snurl's fried chicken.

Granted. It appears in your stomach, giving you no chance to taste it.

I wish that nobody rhymned "fire" with "desire"

Granted, Fire was never rhymed with desire. In fact it is pronounced (fur -ay) and rhymes with beret.

I wish I had sold my warhammer crap

Granted. You sold your Warhammer crap and then bought all new models at twice the MSRP.

I wish I had a new Nerf gun for tonights Nerf war.

Le double post.

Granted. You have a new Nerf gun for tonights Nerf war. It is right at home where you left it.

I wish i had not eaten so much chicken.

Granted, but now you hadn't eaten enough chicken and consquently die of malnutrition.

I wish I had written the song Uptown Funk.

Granted. You rewrite it.

I wish for an active hurricane season.

Granted. It is an active hurricane season...on the planet Jupiter!

I wish I could become independently wealthy, granting me more time and money to spend on my miniatures!

Granted. You are taxed until you're poor.

I wish for better North Carolina public school funding.

Granted. All of the students are bussed to Virginia every day.

I wish I had not forgotten to pick up my foreward observer after tonight's game.

Granted, but unfortunately you actually needed a forward observer, so your foreward observer you remembered actually is useless.

I wish I spell any word.

Granted. You never make a mistake spelling the word any.


I wish I had not lost last night's game.

Granted, you did not lose tonight's game. You lost your miniatures.

I wish I was happy.

Granted. You are now manic-depressive.

I wish for no religious influence in schools.

Granted. Absolutely no religious sayings, such as "Oh God", and the like, are allowed. They are all banned.

I wish for a watch for a watch in Far northeast GA, upstate SC and portions of west and central NC.

Granted, you receive a timex indiglo watch with Mickey Mouse on the face when you visit Georgia and South Carolina.

I wish Magicka was free

Granted, the game Magicka is free on steam. But then you play it and find it isn't really as good as the ET game.

I wish the PS4 had backwards compatibility.