Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Granted. You can play any game backwards on the PS4.

I wish the tornado warning was for somewhere else.

Granted. It's for Miami, FL.

I wish for a severe thunderstorm warning.

Granted. You get it ten minutes after the storm is over.

I wish for some good sleep today.

Granted, but on all other days you can't get any good sleep at all.

I wish to write an Iron Kingdoms fapfic.

Granted. It is so arousing, you get money for it.

I wish for a better computer.

Granted:



I wish all these old survivor games would be revived.

What old survivor games?

I wish for a real boltgun

Granted. A full working, 1:1 scale boltgun, but not a single bolt of ammunition.

I wish GTA online on PS4 let you choose which session to join.

Granted. It does, for one day

I wish for 400 to come already

Granted. You have to clean their pants.

I wish for Adeptus Mechanicus dice on my desk, which has nothing on it.

Granted. The image of Adeptus Mechanicus dice is engraved into the top of your desk.

I wish my desk would be free of clutter.

Granted, but said clutter contains the flawless cure for cancer.

I wish to play Bolt Action.

Granted. Your opponent insists on applying pin markers directly to your arms. You look like a porquipine.

I wish more people played Bolt Action the way we do.

Granted. They devise a new way of playing.

I wish for this report on Algeria to be completed.

Granted and it's completed to the best of your ability. Y equals Y do we care?

You fail the report.

I wish the sun didn't shine while heavy rain fell in my general vicinity.

Granted. A severe thunderstorm warning is issued.

I wish for a rain shower

Granted, it's a shower made of rain and collapses almost immediately.

I wish I knew what Snurl's way of playing Bolt Action is.

Granted, it's with Candyland pawns and ring pops instead of dice and tanks.

I wish CREEEEEEEEED would buy me ....

Granted. But it burns down.

I wish for a personal retinue of orks to serve as unwavering bodyguards, but they only reproduce on a 1:1 scale, so a new ork only comes once one dies.

Granted. They are distracted by a bright shiny thing and wander off at the first opportunity.

I wish for an easy night at work.

Granted. You got fired.

I wish for a thunder hammer.

Granted. The neighbors call the cops every time you use it.

I wish skunks were afraid of people.

Granted. You never see one again.

I wish for no more migraines.

Granted. All of your future headaches are sinus-based.

I wish for less work drama.

Granted. More work drama comes.

I wish for a moderate risk of severe weather

Granted. Just after the storm of the century, there is a moderate risk of severe weather.

I wish for exact instructions.

Granted. You get the exact instructions for something you don't need, written in a language you don't understand. The only part you can decipher is if you don't follow the instructions to the letter, {undeciphered} will happen.

I wish people would actually corrupt wishes instead of "Granted, the opposite of what you wished for happens."

Granted. M̷̵̨̯͎͓̜̮̬͔̹̭̰̭͚̗͖̜̲ͣ͗͛ͦ͋̒ͣ͆̎̀̒ͤ̐ͯ͊̍͞͠ͅĄ̵̸̺̦̙̜̟̳̹̫͋͆̉̇R̸̛̼̭̙̻̝͕͖̦͔̼̪͙̀̒͛̉̅̎̏̽ͮ̏ͬ̓̒͋̂Ṣ̶̢̩̳͔̙̣̳͖̘̮̪͉̠̬͇̣̦ͬ̀̎ͪ̎̑ͧ̂ ̶͓̟̼̜͙̟̮̭͕̼̳͔̫̓ͨ̓̾̋͢͞I̵̧̢͍̼̝̩̩̩͓̬̝̿ͪ̋ͮ̂ͬͭ̾ͫͥͅS̢̭̬̤̙͑ͣ͋̑̇̏̔̀̇ͧ̍ͨͪ̉̉ͧ̏͋͘͡ ̴̦͓̠̲̙̝̯͎̼̮̹̹̬̈́̄ͮ̈́ͭͨͥ̑͘͞͠͠A̓̿̌͐̉̃͗ͤ̎̿̅ͣ̈́̇ͥ̐͊ͧ̈́͏͉̖̜̖̰̺̙̲̠̙̭̟̀ͅ ̶̵̧̟̪̟͓̩͂̈́̚͜L͋ͭ̽̆̊̓ͨͧ͂ͥ̇͆̄̀́҉̳̰̰̪̮̥̳͖͕͖͍̱͈͍̼̪̳͈̟I̴̴̷͖͔͇̬̲̬͙͖̹̘̻ͤͭ̅ͪ͛̿͛̌ͩ͛͐ͯ̆ͩ̌̅͠E̪͉̯̻͚͓͕͍͙̥̺̹͔͍̣̮͂̀̓͒͑̒͡͠ͅ
̨̈̊ͥ̂̚҉͟͏̶͚͖̩̙̳̩̺̱̟D͂̈̓̊͛ͤ̽͢҉̸̶̨̝̪͈͙̗̟̱̭̼ͅE̶̶̻̗͍̟ͭͥ̔̔̎ͪ̏̓̎͡Ǎ͍̜̦͔̞̺̳͕͉ͨ̿́͞T͔̩̠͚̭̼͖̩̗͇͓̯͚̯͖͎̃̄͐ͫ͑́͗̉̈̐ͧͤ̂̓̓͑ͥͭ̊͘̕͠ͅͅḨ͕̙͎͎̮͎̝̗̳̼̘̟͈͙̤ͯ́̑ͩͨ͛̄̒̆̌̚̚͜ ̧̛͚̯̺̟̣̲̮̬̝̘̱͚ͥ̊̈̓ͣ̋ͧ͌ͬ͂̔̈͌ͮ́ͪ͢T͇͇̮̬̯̳̳̖̜͕͙̲̼̘ͣ̓͋̒́̓̀̚͘ͅO̸̷̬̻̠̝̙̞̥̲̞̼̬͈̺̠͔̩͖̿̿ͩ̏ͧ̕ ̖͉͇̩̹͈̠͍̼̹̣̼̙̗̲̲̑ͩ̃ͫ̉̿̀͟Ţ̬̬̗̦̻̖̻̰̺͉͕̮̔̃̎̓ͯ̄ͯ͆̈̎̚̕͞H̸̛ͨ̓̾̊̾̚͏̮̲̹̭̟͕͍Ḛ̭̪͕̟͓͒͐̐̎ͬ͐̌ͤ̓ͨ̇͢͞ ̵̧͍͍̙͓̩̫͔̳̦̜̥͇̞ͦ̓̂͆̉͗̊͗̇͆̀́D̶̛͕͇͖̠̹̺̜̻̻̗̣̤̳̺̤̥̼͚̏͒ͯͯ̆̀͞R̴̡̘͇͉̫͕̺͎̖̩̟̳̘̰͓̬̙̗͕ͨ͆̓ͤ̉ͮ̒̎͑̋͒̚̚͞A̡̝̣͔̭̠͕͙̘͙̱̙̣͋̂̉̿͛ͤ͊̏ͤ̑̓̇̓̒͟G̸̼͙̲̘̮̭͇͎̪̪͍̞͖͙̮̦͓̺̾ͫ͐͊̓̆̈́ͤͬͦ͊̀̚͘̕ͅȌ̡̼̹͖̘̼̬̩͎̠͒͆ͤ̎͂̉͌̄̍ͧ͂̾͊ͩ͘͜͢ͅN̴̼͕͙̬̹̬͔͍̫͉̍ͦͥ͑̈̉̐́͟͟͠ͅͅ
̸̷̧̡͕͙̱͉̲͇̤̰̪̞͖͚̞̜̐̅ͤͥ̔͊̚̚͡Ṱ̨̛̛̮͉͚̜̱̰̞̥̙͉̮̳̯̘ͨ͛ͪ̽͛̊ͪ̿͊ͩͨ̅ͧ̅̔ͨͭ͟͞E̺̩̠͕͕͉͉͖͈ͧͧ̑̑̈́̏̀́Y̵̷̨̯̯͍̳̣̫̜̗̙̩̖̗͊̊̆ͣ̿̈́ͬͮ̃̉ͅ ̷̟̘̳̹͉̤̖͂ͥͤ͂̾̐̍͆̀͒͂͝D͓̙̯̐̋͊̒͂̈͌ͨͦ̀̕̕͟R̨̢̟͕̘̫̻̠̦̹͈͍̗͖͉̄͌̎͐̅͑ͥ̏ͥ̍̋̐ͥ̀̕͝A̶̛̼̠̞͍͕̙̩̗͔͎͚̙̞̖͊͐͒͊̊͗̌͆͐̇͋͐̄̎̃ͯ̃̿́̚͠͠ͅI̷͙͔̰̪̟̳̱̫͖̝̺̹̝͉̦͇̜̮ͦ̾̔̐ͣͅŅ̵̶̷̝̦̣̜̖̗͕̱̭̩͕̩͒̑̃̏ͯ̊ͥͦ͑
͆ͤ̒̎͛̊ͧ̓͌͌͏̶̘̘̳̮̗͇̭͕̖̟̭͖̗͍̼T̛̫̙̱͈̹̠̞̳͙͚̗͕͑̓̌͑̀́͟͠͞H̤̼̺̹̬̩̳̗̠͙̱̩ͧ͑̏ͦ̔͊̔̾ͪ̒̓͡͞ͅẼ͋͆́ͬ̓̔͂͏̵͉͔̰̰̲̻̫̣̜̬̻̝̖͘͞͞Y̝̞͇̟̮͚͔͔̩̣̜͈͚̬ͫ̉̾ͧͥ̂̍̄̅́ͦ̈́͒ͦ̀́͟ ͇͍̫̻̺̲̯̼ͨ̑̈̂̋̂̋͗̀͘͢͡D̵̴̨̡̮̱̼̮̠͈̘̘́ͪͥͥ̓̓̾̌͐̈̔̇͊̏̚R̸̷̢̢̼̪͈͔̟̖̳̼̙̩̠̫̥͖̪̮̝̰̓̅͒ͧ̉̅̈̀̈́͊̽͋͗ͦ̈̚A̶̸̧͇͉̠̖̹̻͚͍̺͎͍̦͇̦̥̓ͭͯ̓̂̍̀ͤͤͣͨ͌̏͗̿̆͊̅̎̕I̯͚̤͇͈̩͍̯̺͎̤͎̱͙͎ͣ͆̽̍ͮ̊͆͂̽̌ͪ̏ͭͥͯ̓̾̚̚̕͜N̠̫͖̞̭̗ͫ̏͋̃̇̋͛͘̕ͅ
̨̍ͪͨ͂̇͊ͭ̈͛̉̑̀͢͜҉̱̟̮̜̤͚̪̝͓̠̮̺̰̯Ḯ̵̸̬͔̣͈̼̩͍̮̪̰͇ͪͭͮͤ͒ͤͦ̇́̏́́̚̕ͅ ̶̻̗̩͖̥͇̱̔͛͌ͧ̏̐̀̕͢͠Ḫ̢͈͉̠̱̋ͫ̅ͮ͒ͤ̔ͭ̌́͞͞Á̬̤̞̪͉͖͔̱̬̟̯̖͐̒͋̓̀ͭͧͧ̀̄̒́̚͟V̸̧̇̄͐ͤ̃ͤ̽̓̂͒̂ͤ̋҉̡̻͈̲͕̘̤̺̰̺Ȅ͗̋ͧ͏͔͈̺͇̫͔̱̯̀ ͒̉͑̄̃ͦͫ͊ͮ̏ͣ̉̈́̏̔ͪ̔͊͏̩̠͙̥̜̘̩̙̬͇͕͇͠S̵̜̰̲̞̝̓͗ͨ̓̊͡ͅͅE̸̗̟̹̳̙̣̥͓̦̙̿̈̾͂͛̓ͥ̓͐ͩͬ͌̾͝ͅE̜̭̭͙͉͔̺̫̙̋ͣ̓͟͝ͅN̶̴̢̛̯͇̺͓̳̞͚̜͇͍͉̬̫̱͒̍̾̍̃ͨͥͦͣͬ̽̂ͨ͋̾ ͍̙̺͍͕̗̲̜̺̙͎͔ͥ̅̅͑̇̇ͬ̀͒ͧ͋͋̍̍̔ͦ̿̍ͮ̀Ï̶̵̵͍̬͇̺̪̯̫̣͂̌ͨ̃ͤ̌ͤ̂̂͜T͛̎̋́̓̽̐̓҉̵͢͏̷͈͚̭̞̟̰̯̞̮

I wish that my phone wasn't infected with a vengeful AI.

Granted. Now it's been stolen.

I wish Taylor Swift would fall madly in love with me and marry me!

Granted. She steals all your socks and cheats on you.

I wish for a good can opener.