Our avatars in a room.

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**2BlackJack1**

*pounces on another cadet, and gives him a head bite*

**Buttery Commissar**

...Am I being reverse-kidnapped? [Perplexed] I was starting to quite like it here. Tomorrow was going to be assault-course training with live-.

[Remembers] Swing left, that office is where they sashed my gear. [Points]

[Cadets give up and start fleeing at sight of C'otor] [Half a dozen actual commissars start firing at both Co'tor and Zergsmasher]

**Verviedi**

Acknowleged, Commissar.

Don't mind him, he's a little- (drowned out by music)

*Swerves left through office window, grabbing BC's gear while driving through*

Starships, feth yeah!
Silicon, feth yeah!
VR, feth yeah!
Warp dust, feth yeah!

*Does a wheelie over a commissar aiming his pistol at Co'Tor*

Power armor, feth yeah!
Daemonettes, feth yeah!
Nutri-pills, feth yeah!
Circuits, feth yeah!

*Speed-drifts through a line of security officers*

**Co'tor Shas**

*is calmly fired at*
*las shots impact off shield*

You know, nobody is ever going going to like you if the first thing you do is shoot at them.

OOC: these poor commissars

they've been attacked by a bike riding space marines playing mechanicus feth yeah, been dive bombed by a democrat, attacked by an alien, lectured at by some sort of elf thing, and calmly talked to by an appearing tau.

Edit: OOC: WTF? My phone changed remora to democrat?

**Buttery Commissar**

Thi-this is not conducive to a learning environment! [Holds on for dear life] I'm starting to think you're a very irresponsible marine!

[Commissars stop firing and go into a huddle] [Lead Commissar shrugs and they disperse for a tea-break]

ooc: I believe the Commissariat training camps are usually a bootcamp/finishing academy mostly staffed by retired commissars. Poor old guys being bothered by hooligans. Get offa my lawn, spess marine!

**2BlackJack1**

*tail impales commisar and drags him into the shadows*

**Verviedi**

*Screaming over the music*

I possessed his armor and augmetics, but I can't control his mouth or body! Good thing he's a nice Iron Hand!

My objective is to rescue you. I have been given no limits on collateral.

*Music abruptly cuts off as lasround hits the speaker cable*

Awwww :(

OOC: That is the most glorious spelling "fix" I have ever seen!

**2BlackJack1**

*sneaks up behind commisar grabbing tea and drags him away from the camp in preparation for a new nest*

**Buttery Commissar**

[Looks around at carnage] I would have been fine! I am fine!

Admittedly missing more teeth than I was originally, and they woke me with a hose each morning, but-

You know what, let's just go... Before one of them remembers that they can call the Inquisition.

**Verviedi**

Don't worry, augmetic teeth are a thing.

*Ramps a crashed Chimera and flies through the shattered gate, back to the room*

++COMMUNICATION RECIEVED++

Oh gak. It's her. And she's PISSED.

**Co'tor Shas**

*Remora-couch comes back with screaming tau and lands gently*

Well that went better than expected.

**Co'tor Shas**

Now what's all this about a" her"

**ZergSmasher**

*Bolt rounds from scared Imperials ricochet wildly off of shield*

"Fools! The xeno you should be worried about is off somewhere building a nest right now!"

*Looks where Verv was riding the bike, facepalms, and shakes head*

"Looks like I have to do this the hard way..."

*Walks through crashed gate, then turns and manifests psionic storm, enveloping the whole Commissariat in blue psychic lightning bolts*

**Buttery Commissar**

Well that was a th-thing. [Sits on sofa] [Stares at wall in a daze]

She's probably mad because the tutors made me take my Slaaneshi p-piercings out, even though they kept somehow reappearing. T-turns out that cauterising solves that problem. Even down there... [Flinches]

P-pure in body, pure in mind... [Twitches]

Oh! They gave me a nice n-new earring to replace them though. [Lifts hat and shows very obvious, flashing GPS tracker punched through upper ear]

[Lies down on side] The only things they didn't make me do were chem gelding, cookery and t-tank driving lessons. They said that you only really need to do those once...

[Mumbles] It's a shame, I like driving tanks. [Falls asleep]

**2BlackJack1**

*places commisar into hive wall and makes other preparations for Queen spawning*

**Co'tor Shas**

OOC: I love the difference in average injuries. I get hurt a lot, but it tends to be rather comical. Vervi's been destroyed repeatedly, but is basically just code and memory, so it's fine, TNB dies constantly, but re-spawns, and BC is repeatedly mentally scarred.

**Buttery Commissar**

ooc: I'm actually astounded I'm still alive given the state of the room. Un-named commissar has no regen device outside of going full chaos, which isn't my bag (I barely know enough fluff).
I think ZK has killed me at least twice, TNB at least twice, Selym gave me nurgle cuddle germs, etc.

**2BlackJack1**

*moves cadet hidden in vents into wall as well and guards as eggmorphing begins*

**shasolenzabi**

"Here 2bj1, here, whistle, whistle, whistle, Dat's a good boy, come on out, I have a treat for you!"

**2BlackJack1**

*cautiously advances to shasolenzobi, but keeps eggs in sight*

**thenoobbomb**

Play the fething objectiiiiive!

**shasolenzabi**

2BlackJack1 wrote:
*cautiously advances to shasolenzobi, but keeps eggs in sight*

Dangles a treat of meat to 2bj1 "Good xenomorph! come get the treat, and we can go home"

Smells the eggs, knows what to do.

**Verviedi**

*Walks back into vault and Marine lies back down on his bed, entering hibernation*

*Looks at BC sympathetically*

Don't worry. There are augmetics for everything.

**2BlackJack1**

*Tail reaches out and grabs the meat*

*Runs back to nest*

**Verviedi**

*Pats BC's shoulder*

Don't worry, you should snap out of it in a bit.
I also took the liberty of hacking the training camp's computers and setting your regimental assignment to the "27th Martian Skitarii Maniple", so if anyone asks, you're lobotimized.

I also stole all the servo-skulls.

*Points at bulging rucksack*

**Buttery Commissar**

[Looks up in confusion] I was happy being a c-commissar.

..! [Wanders over to butter tank] Good tank! [Pats side] [Tank wags turret excitedly] [Tickles underneath the turret] Who's a good t-tank? You is! Yes y-you is! [Tank engine purrs]

**2BlackJack1**

*Watches as newly created egg bursts open with a face hugger which latches on to the cadet*

**Verviedi**

Don't worry! I have you registered as "Commissar-General - 27 Mars"

So hopefully that won't break anything.

**2BlackJack1**

*watches as chest buster hides inside the hive walls and starts growing into a queen*

**Buttery Commissar**

[Shrugs] The entire camp being engulfed in lightning is probably more concerning to the Commissariat right now...

[Daemonette leans out of side-hatch] Aaagh! H-heresy! [Draws pistol] [Is tackled to the ground and tightly hugged] I-I'm so very c-conflicted right now...
[Is dragged along floor into tank] ...??? Woah, there... [Hatch slams]