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Granted. At Treblinka.

I wish the Nazis had been nicer to the Jews.

Granted. They said please and thank you to them.

I wish to get this thing started.

Granted. It's so extreme Slaanesh has to ask you to tone it down a bit.

I wish school would be over already.

Granted. Due to funding cuts, school is out forever.

I wish to learn to say no firmly, so that I don't get roped into long-assed projects I would rather not do.

Granted. You can only firmly answer "No" to any questions anybody asks you ever.

I wish people stopped bashing Ultramarines and their players.

Granted. Now they bash all 40K players equally, no matter which army they play.

I wish to get a lot done on this thing today.

Granted. That "thing" is committing suicide.

I wish for a hot sexy Porno.

Granted. Its a man disguised as a woman.

I wish to go see my gramma.

Granted. You see her corpse just before they seal the coffin.

I wish sweat smelled good.

Granted. Skunks are attracted to it.

I wish for a faster way to cut foam.

Granted. You find it, and slice the foam, the table, and your arm and die of blood loss.

I wish that GW used actual resin and not bubble formula to cast with.

Granted. Now GW uses real resin to cast bubbles.

I wish GW had not decided to flush WHFB.

Granted. They bring it back, and flush 40k instead.

I wish I actually had Warhammer, or anything else for that matter.

Granted. You have Necromunda, a Squat army for 40k, and Dwarves with spears for WHFB. All of which have been canceled or rendered useless due to GW rules editions/revisions.

I wish to get my hands on whoever decided to screw up WHFB.

Granted. You get you hands on him, but he immediatly slips free from your grasp.

I wish poop tasted good.

Granted. You can't get enough of it.

I wish the tower had not been a big mimic.

Granted, it is a small mimic instead.

I wish Adele would make another album.

Granted. Due to copyright issues, it is never released.

I wish for some good cheese.

Garnted, cheese tastes so horrible that this wish doesn't need any corruption

I wish my physics teacher wasn't on paternity leave.

Granted. He is on sabbatical leave instead.

I wish for another good book to read.

Granted, it's so good you can do nothing but read it which leads to you wasting away to death.

I wish this school year could be over already.

Granted, but you lose 6 months of your education and ruin your job prospects for life. You die alone, drunk and addicted to heroin, on a lonely street corner. After being pissed on by another drunk, crackhead hobo.

I wish there was an Orkmoticon doing a shmoney dance.

Granted. There is, but you have no access to it.

I wish to finish building this thing.

Granted. Jihadists blow it up immediately after.

I wish the Jihadists would become pacifists.

Granted, the jihadists just pay mercenaries to do their dirty work from now on.

I wish I knew how to paint Luftwaffe Uniforms with Vallejo Luftwaffe Uniform paint.

Granted. Now it's the ONLY thing you know how to paint.

I wish Dark Vengeance would hurry up and arrive at my house.

Granted. It arrives at your house while you are away, and someone swipes it.

I wish for confirmation.

Granted. Conformation that Hitler and the Nazis' ideas were completely correct.

I wish I was not allergic to cats.

Granted. You are now allergic to everything else.

I wish I could afford a gaming computer and some games to put on it.

Granted. You pick up a sweet Commodore 64, along with Centipede, Pong, and everyone's favorite, Breakout.

I wish to find the perfect combination of detail and playability.