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The actual cause of the argument hasn't be explained, only what it was about. So her actions are over the top but maybe the OP tore the head off of her favorite Barbie doll or worse.

The full circumstance hasn't been explained here. Just that the argument had been about their off the road car and then all of a sudden he's moving out and she's flipped the table over.

Somethings got to have happened or have been said to have narked her off so much. The OP has even said that this is the first time it has happened.

and my friend ask why I don't date

Well a lot of people have chimed in.

some thoughts.

1.) you are not telling the whole story obviously since you were packing all your stuff when she did this. Which you don't have to of course.

2.) If she hurt her hands badly doing this obviously she was not able to control her self or her anger, and needs counseling for herself regardless of you and her.

3.) If you value her and she values you, and I dont want you to romanticize it and make it somethings its not if its not that, but if you do. You can seek a 3rd neutral party as intervention, ie counseling. It may help you two rebuild a relationship if its worth it to BOTH of you. Given that you were packing your stuff up before she slammed the table over it probably isn't.

4.) If you bought something for her, its hers. Let it go. If you bought something that was ya'lls then you can fight over it.

5.) Your legal fees will probably be more than the models are worth. Most good lawyers are 500 us an hour, and charge in 10 minute increments including writing emails, reading emails, and listening to voice mails, sending voice mails, phone conversations. I assure you they are doing the Charleston on their desk and wracking up the minutes every time you need them. Unless you feel like you would be in danger in the process of leaving her, or after, and need a restraining order I would not bother getting a lawyer.


I had an ex accidentally break my first dark eldar raider and throw it away without telling me what happened about 10 years ago. She thought I would be upset, honestly I didn't care that she broke it, however I was a little worried she didn't tell me because it was annoying spendining multiple hours looking through all of my possessions trying to find it It didn't affect our relationship.

megabambam wrote: Never EVER EVER hit a woman, because woman beaters deserve everything that come at them.

All this above is my opinion and point of view.

I gave a woman a swift uppercut after she hit me over the nut with a bottle of WKD on a night out in Exmouth. I took the blow, put my palm to my head and when it came away red, i was ready for action. She lifted her arm again and I knocked the bint out.

She deserved it, and I feel i showed remarkable restraint by not kicking her a few times when she was down, but then, im a gentleman.

So id say that you should only ever hit a woman if she is armed and you are concerned that she could actually hurt you.

I commend you as a gentleman sir in defense of his own well being and safety.

if anyone regardless of gender is trying to assault you in seriousness, put them down as swiftly as possible if the confrontation cannot be avoided.

Be cool, slowly move your stuff out over the course of a few weeks until hopefully she's forgotten about the whole deal...
Weeks later, kiss her goodbye one morning. When she's gone out get the last of your stuff out, call the talking clock in Azerbaijan, leave the phone off the hook, go out & leave her door open, preferably with a 'FREE STUFFZ ->' sign outside.

Alternatively just sleep with her sister/best friend/mother.

Cold, calculating revenge may well be puerile, but it often leads to some highly amusing text messages (to be posted on facebook)

megabambam wrote:Never EVER EVER hit a woman, because woman beaters deserve everything that come at them.

I think you're using "hit" improperly, as a synonym for "abuse." I would have no qualms about striking a women in self-defense, but domestic abuse (women/wife/girlfriend beating) is done strictly to intimidate or cause pain, and you have to be sick in the head (literally insane) to condone such behavior.

Platuan4th wrote:Sorry Melissia, but you're a bit off on this one.

No I'm not. "B****es be crazy" is referring to all women.

Daedricbob wrote:Alternatively just sleep with her sister/best friend/mother.

I assume this is all at once, yes? For maximum effectiveness.

Monster Rain wrote:The kneejerk cries of misogyny are laughable.

Seems to me the knee-jerk response from most is to dump her, and take her to small claims court, rather that look at any further issues. None of us knows what is going on in her life, maybe she's not nuts but has difficulties that an army of toy men are placed second to in the heat of the moment. It was after all an outburst not a planned piece of malicious action because she's badly hurt he hands while breaking the table.

I'm not clear what happened. People say she 'flipped the table over' because the OP said...

She walks over to the desk and flips it...

But later on he says...

...she slammed her hands on the desk...

Which sounds like she banged her hands on the table and they went through the glass top injuring herself. Which isn't quite 'the same as flipping it over'.

Anyway, there's a bit of a gap in this between her never being aggressive in this manner before and them having an argument over the cost of the car and then him 'packing stuff up in a fit of rage' and suddenly stuff is being trashed by her. Can't help thinking there's a few bits missing here.



____________________________________________________________

Anyway, I guess the misogyny comment is probably directed towards posters responses like...

No amount of pie is worth this aggravation. Take her to small claims court for damages, then bang her best friend. Problem...acceptably reciprocated.

Beachez be crazy.

She wants that she gets all your attention, fancy mirrors and shiny fings, she wants that you give her stuff... its obvious that she wants that 6000 dollar bag instead of you collecting toy soldiers... thats how many woman are, mostly caring about themselfs

etc.

This may be because im a peaceful person but i think hitting of any kind is wrong

OP: I think you should go to a professional to try and make the relationship work, depending on how serious the relationship is

Melissia wrote:

Platuan4th wrote:Sorry Melissia, but you're a bit off on this one.

No I'm not. "B****es be crazy" is referring to all women.

Not necessarily.

He might have been referring to multiple, specific "bitches". You're inferring the "all women" bit.

Honestly.

Whether or not the statement referred to specific bitches or bitches more generally, it's a bit sexist to refer to any bitch -- even one who's a real bitch -- as a bicth, isn't it? I mean, you could just say that a certain woman is a jerk.

Harriticus wrote:If she's hot I'd let it pass.

Yup

Howard A Treesong wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:The kneejerk cries of misogyny are laughable.

Seems to me the knee-jerk response from most is to dump her, and take her to small claims court, rather that look at any further issues.

You left out a pretty important part of the post that you quoted.

If your significant other destroys your property in anger, and you tell a normal person this, their reaction will probably tell you that this isn't someone to be in a relationship with.

Seriously.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Specifically:

Does your partner:

have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
force you to have sex?
destroy your belongings?

The double standard here is hysterical. I'm sure if it was a woman complaining about her boyfriend destroying her property people would be on here saying "Are you sure you weren't deserving of the treatment you received?"

Blaming the victim, dakkanauts? For shame!

Manchu wrote:Honestly.

Whether or not the statement referred to specific bitches or bitches more generally, it's a bit sexist to refer to any bitch -- even one who's a real bitch -- as a bicth, isn't it?

Rude, maybe. Sexist, possibly not. I suppose it would depend on whether it is being used accurately and not just as a general term for a female, in which case it would indeed be sexist.

merriam-webster wrote:b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman

I hate to post twice, but I've been there!

Fights happen in relationships. We're human. However, there is no justification for abuse, physical, financial or otherwise. If this kind of thing happens in your relationship regardless of the cause, you don't need to be together... something is broken here.

It might seem trivial now to some degree (it's just miniatures) , but If you don't do something to nip it in the bud you'll regret it later.

Just some advice...

Right, I mean it refers to being a woman specifically rather than a gender neutral term. Even when a man is called a bitch, the term is used to put down women -- i.e., you are not being what is good (a man) but rather acting shamefully (like a woman). Anyway, I'm not here to fight the good fight of sexual equality -- let's just please be polite to one another.

Monster Rain wrote:The double standard here is hysterical. I'm sure if it was a woman complaining about her boyfriend destroying her property people would be on here saying "Are you sure you weren't deserving of the treatment you received?"

Blaming the victim, dakkanauts? For shame!

There's a bit of a difference between blaming the victim by asking if they were deserving of it, and simply stating that they may be more to what's going on than we've been told. I haven't suggested that he was deserving of it in any way, but that if there were much greater issues then I'd at least understand it better than writing her off as a psycho.

In what circumstances is destroying someone else's things, especially something that they have put a lot of time and effort and money into, not psycho?

Honestly dump her and demand she pays for every thing. Like its one thing to have a fight its another thing to just freak out and go after some ones stuff

Howard A Treesong wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:The double standard here is hysterical. I'm sure if it was a woman complaining about her boyfriend destroying her property people would be on here saying "Are you sure you weren't deserving of the treatment you received?"

Blaming the victim, dakkanauts? For shame!

There's a bit of a difference between blaming the victim by asking if they were deserving of it, and simply stating that they may be more to what's going on than we've been told. I haven't suggested that he was deserving of it in any way, but that if there were much greater issues then I'd at least understand it better than writing her off as a psycho.

What bearing does any of that extra stuff have on someone's significant other destroying their things? The correct answer to the question "My girlfriend/boyfriend destroys my personal property, what should I do?" is "Leave them."

Period.

Manchu wrote:In what circumstances is destroying someone else's things, especially something that they have put a lot of time and effort and money into, not psycho?

For truth, quoted.

Polonius wrote:Break up.
File a claim for damages in small claims court.

Violent tempers aren't to be messed with.

Monster Rain wrote:The correct answer to the question "My girlfriend/boyfriend maliciously destroys my personal property, what should I do?" is "Leave them."

Period.

Amended. After all, while not applicable in this case according to the OP, honest accidents can happen - especially where hordes of small, fragile plastic tanks are concerned.

stileprojekt wrote:

Dark Scipio wrote:1. What did you do before that reaction.

2. What happend that you cant just fix them. I know nothing without chemicals that can ,,break" 40k models.

1.before the reaction i was packing everything i had bought in the house i collected most of the stuff and was getting boxes to pack them away in my truck and get to a friends house.

2. cracks in big chuncks of plastic, snaped in half arms metal figures bent to the point if you bend back they will break apart. about 21 pots of paint spilled on the floor.

SOunds like you were already bailing. best thing for it. I would document everything.

Going to court is iffy only in whether or not you need further drama. On the positive filing in small claiks court puts her on notice to stay the away. if she starts harassing her get a TRO against her. I've had long term crazy, you don't need long term crazy in your life.

Manchu wrote:In what circumstances is destroying someone else's things, especially something that they have put a lot of time and effort and money into, not psycho?

Well how deliberate was it? Did she flip the table or did it just break under her hitting it? If she injured herself on broken glass then she may have got upset and done some deliberate damage, sure, doesn't mean it was malicious in the way people want it to be. Had he come back from the shops and found everything cut up then it would be a bit clearer.

When someone fills in the gap between them starting an argument about the repair for a car and then him 'packing stuff up in a rage' and her apparently going uncharacteristically crazy, I'll be happier.

Mythal wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:The correct answer to the question "My girlfriend/boyfriend maliciously destroys my personal property, what should I do?" is "Leave them."

Period.

Amended.

Fair enough.

Yeah, if it's actually an accident obviously you don't have to run screaming from the apartment.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Howard A Treesong wrote:Well how deliberate was it? Did she flip the table or did it just break under her hitting it?

Why does it matter?

Someone is still destroying furniture. Does the manner in which the table was broken really have that much bearing on the issue.

Was the table thrown out the window? Was there a beverage on the table at the time? What time was it? What color is her hair?

Doctadeth wrote:First of all, seek a lawyer or paralegal. Get pictures of the models post trauma. Don't repair the models until you do so. Try and also get counseling if you are going to choose to stay together. Her throwing stuff at you, should not be a valid reaction to anything in an arguement.

Second. Change your passwords to everything, don't leave any passwords lying around, withdraw anything in a joint account thats yours if you share it with her. Keep your stuff in your own room and keep her out of the room, lock with a padlock.

Thirdly, don't taunt with models. What I mean by that is try and spend time with her, or other friends more. If she's relaliated against your models, she knows they will hurt you.

You were good right up until the last point.
I'll go with this from the viewpoint of a Dad. No child deserves crazy. If you're smart you're gone and stay gone.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Melissia wrote:

Mr. DK wrote:Beachez be crazy.

Ugh.

I know the thread's practically asking for misogynistic comments like this and that dumb image macro above it, but come on...

Apparently all girlfriends who break up with guys are crazy, and you should only ever listen to his point of view, because hers isn't important.

When she starts tossing furniture, its not.

Melissia wrote:

Platuan4th wrote:Sorry Melissia, but you're a bit off on this one.

No I'm not. "B****es be crazy" is referring to all women.

This is so wrong..

Its "B****es be crazy BE referring to all women"

Even I know that, and I don't even listen to rap music.

megabambam wrote:Well.. In my opinion (and i'm warning you know it's not always right nor good) then you should seek counseling, talk to her find out why she freaks this much out, just make sure not to raise your voice too much and remember the golden rule: Never EVER EVER hit a woman, because woman beaters deserve everything that come at them.

Also, you people who say "if she's hot, I'd let it pass" are just as bad and you guys are the ones that allow women to go cheat on you with 5 other guys and then come home and say "I have a headache" when you want to have sex. Way to look out for yourselves. I don't care who the girl is, if she messes up my crap, she's gone.

Monster Rain wrote:Automatically Appended Next Post:

Howard A Treesong wrote:Well how deliberate was it? Did she flip the table or did it just break under her hitting it?

Why does it matter?

Someone is still destroying furniture. Does the manner in which the table was broken really have that much bearing on the issue.

Well in seriousness, yes it does, if that wasn't her explicit intention.