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I really need to dig up those old Hammer movies, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee=winning combo.

I'd kick it old school like Dracula. Castle, thralls, villagers living in utter terror, knowing that I may come for them in the night.

The only problem I have with vampires is there's so many of them and their traits and abilities differ wildly depending on the setting. Sometimes they turn anyone they feed on, sometimes they only turn people if they drain them completely, sometimes they only turn people if they DON'T drain them completely, sometimes they have to actively decide to turn someone they feed on, sometimes they can continue to feed on someone after they've drained all the blood and eat their victim's soul.

But obviously I would have to make Mila Kunis, Jessica Biel, and Jessica Alba into thralls.

Now there was an anime vampire hunter (and one of the very few anime that I've liked).

Then again...

If I, as a lord of the undead, am going to meet a sticky end, I'd like it to be via:



Or, perhaps it is they who will meet a sticky end at my hands... phnar phnar!

My favorite vampire is remilia scarlet from the touhou games.

Whoda thunk?

Well... I know I would avoid feeding on Paula Dean.... all the fat and butter she inhales.....ugh...
Would also avoid Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher... could you imagine having to listen to those two voices for all eternity?

MeanGreenStompa wrote:If I, as a lord of the undead, am going to meet a sticky end, I'd like it to be via:



Or, perhaps it is they who will meet a sticky end at my hands... phnar phnar!

Why would it ever have to end? Your immortal now, you no longer have to worry about endings.

helgrenze wrote:Well... I know I would avoid feeding on Paula Dean.... all the fat and butter she inhales.....ugh...
Would also avoid Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher... could you imagine having to listen to those two voices for all eternity?

Yeah, but as a Vampire you don't have to worry about cholesterol ...so Paula Dean just might be delicious...
..And say what you will about Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher...I'd eat them both.

FITZZ wrote:

helgrenze wrote:Well... I know I would avoid feeding on Paula Dean.... all the fat and butter she inhales.....ugh...
Would also avoid Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher... could you imagine having to listen to those two voices for all eternity?

Yeah, but as a Vampire you don't have to worry about cholesterol ...so Paula Dean just might be delicious...
..And say what you will about Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher...I'd eat them both.

Now, when we say "Feast" for a vampire, are we talking Neck Bitey or Soul Swallowy?

Slarg232 wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

helgrenze wrote:Well... I know I would avoid feeding on Paula Dean.... all the fat and butter she inhales.....ugh...
Would also avoid Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher... could you imagine having to listen to those two voices for all eternity?

Yeah, but as a Vampire you don't have to worry about cholesterol ...so Paula Dean just might be delicious...
..And say what you will about Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher...I'd eat them both.

Now, when we say "Feast" for a vampire, are we talking Neck Bitey or Soul Swallowy?

I'm an "Old school" kind of guy, so I'm thinking neck bitey...blood drinky...enthrally...that sort of thing.

Charlie Sheen, that tiger's blood would make me a truly fearsome opponent -No- nigh instructible. And instead of sparkling in sunlight. I would shift away and it would snow cocaine.

Winning!

KingCracker wrote:What "famous" person would you feast on and why?

None of them? I mean, I wouldn't want to be found out, then I'd be chased around by religious nutjobs and twilight fangirl/boys.

I'm not sure what's scarier... being chased around by religious nutjobs wanting to put a stake in my heart, being chased around by twilight fangirls who want to be reenact Bella (what), or being chased around by twilight fanboys for any reason.

MeanGreenStompa wrote:

I think I recognize that dude. What anime's he from?

Melissia wrote:

MeanGreenStompa wrote:

I think I recognize that dude. What anime's he from?

Vampire Hunter D, basically Blade in a higher-fantasy setting.

Melissia wrote:

KingCracker wrote:What "famous" person would you feast on and why?

None of them? I mean, I wouldn't want to be found out, then I'd be chased around by religious nutjobs and twilight fangirl/boys.

I'm not sure what's scarier... being chased around by religious nutjobs wanting to put a stake in my heart, being chased around by twilight fangirls who want to be reenact Bella (what), or being chased around by twilight fanboys for any reason.

I think Melissa has a good point here.

Now now now, you guys cant get all uppity about why you WOULDNT want to feast on famous people. Thats not the question here. Pretend for a moment, you can follow the rules of a thread for once

Now, Melissia, helgrenze, START KILLING FAMOUS FOLK!


Automatically Appended Next Post:

FITZZ wrote:

helgrenze wrote:Well... I know I would avoid feeding on Paula Dean.... all the fat and butter she inhales.....ugh...
Would also avoid Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher... could you imagine having to listen to those two voices for all eternity?

Yeah, but as a Vampire you don't have to worry about cholesterol ...so Paula Dean just might be delicious...
..And say what you will about Rachel Ray and Fran Dresher...I'd eat them both.

I wouldnt hesitate for a moment on either as well. Id be all on em both.........oh wait are we still on topic?

KingCracker wrote:Now now now, you guys cant get all uppity about why you WOULDNT want to feast on famous people. Thats not the question here. Pretend for a moment, you can follow the rules of a thread for once

Now, Melissia, helgrenze, START KILLING FAMOUS FOLK!

Ok fine.... I think I would start with the women at Hef's place.... then move on to the porn industry..... Wait..... I think Hef has dibs on his women.....

I think Hef is already a Vampire.

coolyo294 wrote:I think Hef is already a Vampire.

Kinda my point.

I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

That female singer from Paramore.

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

I imagine you have plenty of experience with the subject to know this.

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

I imagine you have plenty of experience with the subject to know this.

Well...I dated a few strippers...never had any "problems"...

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

Add in that most are smoking hot, who cares if they fake it on film.... they ARE actors after all.
for non porn names.... Zooey Deschanel, Padma Lakshmi, Pauley Perrette...

I am a vegetarian so it would have to be blood oranges and beetroots

FITZZ wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

I imagine you have plenty of experience with the subject to know this.

Well...I dated a few strippers...never had any "problems"...

It isn't dating if you had to pay for the service FITZZ.

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

I imagine you have plenty of experience with the subject to know this.

Well...I dated a few strippers...never had any "problems"...

It isn't dating if you had to pay for the service FITZZ.

Fitzz wouldn't have to pay, because Fitzz is a playa.

If I was a vampire hmmm

I would want to be the Chuck Norris vampire, No fangs needed, just round house kick the blood out of some... it will bottle itself

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

George Spiggott wrote:I'd just kind of sparkle a bit. Feasting isn't really my bag.

Not only are you a pigman.....but your a funny pigman.



Thanks Helgrenze, and the best part of being a Vampire, you wouldnt have to worry about STD's and the like anymore. So the easy/freaky women in porn would be a safe bet for once

Women in porn are less likely to have STDs than some random woman you may encounter, sexually adventurous women do not equal diseased whores...despite what the more prudish elements of society would have you believe.

I imagine you have plenty of experience with the subject to know this.

Well...I dated a few strippers...never had any "problems"...

It isn't dating if you had to pay for the service FITZZ.

I have felt a disturbance in the force...