My Hero

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**SilverMK2**

LMAO!

You have the best stories Matty

Write a book and entertain the world

**Ouze**

mattyrm wrote: It's true though, there are some chicks with baggage near camps. I was at 40 commando in Taunton once and my company was just back from a short deployment so I was pretty hairy and beardy and not very military looking (other than my mighty guns obviously) I was stood across from the bar when I caught this student birds eye, who smiled broadly at me and then batted her lashes with those sorta "feth me eyes" that chicks have when they fancy you, I remember it well because we both smiled at each other and she was wearing a gak backback with Elmo from Sesame street on the back. When I glanced over a minute later she caught my eye again and then sorta, "waved" the arm on the Elmo thing at me.

So 100% confident thanks to the feth me eyes I sauntered over and said "Hello there, do you want to go somewhere a bit quieter and have a drink with me?" and as soon as she heard my broad northern accent she instantly went from feth me eyes to feth you eyes and said "Are you a Marine?" and I said "I am yes, ive just returned from a deployment" and she went "YOU fething LOSER!"

And stomped away with a sob.

That is so.... not how I thought that story would end.

**mattyrm**

Ouze wrote:

That is so.... not how I thought that story would end.

Hey they can't ALL have a happy ending.

**AustonT**

Matty is holding out on you. Later in the evening drunk, alone, and self esteem running on empty she dragged Matty back to her flat for a Edit: Let's try to keep this PG, 'eh?-Mannahnin

**mattyrm**

AustonT wrote:Matty is holding out on you. Later in the evening drunk, alone, and self esteem running on empty she dragged Matty back to her flat for a....

I had another crack of the whip by taking her a box of chocolates round, she insulted me again so I ate all of the orange creams and then EDIT: PG-rated, ok?-Mannahnin.

**dogma**

mattyrm wrote:...and she was wearing a gak backback with Elmo from Sesame street on the back.

Was she Asian?

**hotsauceman1**

Ok, I get the guy is a poser. But what would beating him up prove? in the email it said he was lucky to still have his teeth. Wouldnt that just prove that the guy is violent.

**dogma**

hotsauceman1 wrote:Ok, I get the guy is a poser. But what would beating him up prove? in the email it said he was lucky to still have his teeth. Wouldnt that just prove that the guy is violent.

Its a euphemism for "very angry", not necessarily a statement of fact.

**Albatross**

SilverMK2 wrote:LMAO!

You have the best stories Matty

Write a book and entertain the world

I have offered my services as ghost-writer on more than one occasion for this very purpose. Thing is, he'd have to keep his identity as a secret if we ever did do it, like Andy McNab or something. A lot of the gak in that book would probably make the national press. Seriously.

**mattyrm**

dogma wrote:
mattyrm wrote:...and she was wearing a gak backback with Elmo from Sesame street on the back.

Was she Asian?

She wasnt, do adult Asian women seem to have a bizarre fascination with Sesame street in your neck of the woods?

**dogma**

mattyrm wrote:
She wasnt, do adult Asian women seem to have a bizarre fascination with Sesame street in your neck of the woods?

Not Sesame Street, but novelty backpacks.