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Dear 'not so great as me' lord of terra.

The reson for me bieng so good is well, not to be arrogant but I'm me! i'm just amazing, the only way to become as great as me is to become me! i did try and turn my throne into a wheelchair, but to be honest, i'm so great why should i move to accomadate people, they should culd to me, 'cus i'm great!'

Uncle Emps





Hey Emps

Why can't you see a black hole in space?

the dud ultramarine

A black hole in space? Why should I see a black hole in space. Even though I am the most potent psyker who ever lived, I am no Navigator. I take it you accidentally hit one while in warp transit and plan to blame me for not warning you in time. Sure, blame the old ruler of Mankind for every mishap that you can imagine. Blame me for your food getting cold, blame me for not granting you that brand new Grimdark-model sports car you prayed for months, blame me for that leg you broke because I didn't protect you when you jumped off the tree.

I have other things to worry about than warning you about everything. Besides, I power up the Astronomican. That should be enough guidance for you in space. I never told I was a god you know. Besides, aren't you a member of the Ultramarines, my son's sons who are supposed to be the best and brightest of all, and still you cannot even navigate past a black hole?

Disappointed,
The Emperor of Mankind.


Dear Emperor,

I am a traitor Space Marine of the Word Bearers legion. Umm... I have a big confession to make. We all regret betraying you in the Horus Heresy, and we want to ask for forgiveness. However, we have a small...ish question we'd like you to answer...

Well, you see, it's about our Primarch Lorgar. When he was banished into the Eye of Terror, he locked himself into a big grimdark church, and said he wanted to be in peace. That's okay, we thought, but it's been ten thousand years and he is still meditating there! I am not even sure if he is there anymore, as I heard alarming rumors about a big metallic fellow named Trazyn who has a giant man in PA as a centerpiece of his collection. You see, we draw our own conclusions...

Please help grandfather,
Phobos of the Word Bearers.

Dear Emperor,

I am a traitor Space Marine of the Word Bearers legion. Umm... I have a big confession to make. We all regret betraying you in the Horus Heresy, and we want to ask for forgiveness. However, we have a small...ish question we'd like you to answer...

Well, you see, it's about our Primarch Lorgar. When he was banished into the Eye of Terror, he locked himself into a big grimdark church, and said he wanted to be in peace. That's okay, we thought, but it's been ten thousand years and he is still meditating there! I am not even sure if he is there anymore, as I heard alarming rumors about a big metallic fellow named Trazyn who has a giant man in PA as a centerpiece of his collection. You see, we draw our own conclusions...

Please help grandfather,
Phobos of the Word Bearers.

Dear Son of my Traitorous Son,
While I have a hard time believing that all of the Word Bearers wish for forgiveness by Yours Truly, especially those inducted since that whole mess, I am glad that you yourself have stepped forwards to make amends.
But you see... consorting with Daemons and allowing yourselves to be possessed is... well, what can I say, it's rather troublesome on my mind. When I set out to create the Imperium, I wanted people to not know anything about Daemons in the first place so they wouldn't start mucking about in the first place. Hindsight being 20/20, it's safe to say that ended rather poorly. But I digress...
And what reason could I possibly have for forgiving you all for betraying me? I cannot trust you to come back to My fold and not expect a bolt shell to My Head, or something along those lines. Besides, what would forgiveness mean exactly to you? I need to be clear on what it is you're asking of Me. I don't just give out pardons like leaflets, you know.
As for Trazyn stealing your father for his collection... he MAY be there, or he may NOT be there, wouldn't you like to know? Tee hee...
Yours in slyness,
E.

Great Omnissiah,
What if we were to inter you into a Golden Throne Dreadnought?
A Curious Magos of the Adeptus Mechanicus

Dear Magos of the adeptus Mechanicus,

But for what purpose? I heard you were unable to repair a failure which was discovered a year ago in my Throne. Besides, isn't my great Throne already pretty much a static Dreadnought? I can't leave this throne anyway just to stride around inside a giant machine, otherwise Daemons would pour into the Imperial Palace from the gate!

But if you truly have the technology to repair my Throne, not to mention turning it into a Dreadnought in the process, just repair my Throne and revive Guilliman instead with your Golden Dreadnought. It would look stupid if I would be interred into a Dreadnought just to sit idly near the Golden Throne for another ten thousand years! Guilliman on the other hand could be of use to my forces as one. Just make sure to paint most of it blue and cover it with pauldrons, gothic archs and reversed Ohm-symbols. And while you are at it, give it two pairs of hands. And a jump pack.

With love,
The Omnissiah.


Dear Inferior,

Why have you been telling those abject and lying Word Bearer wrethces that I may have their leader in my possession? I say, if Lorgar wants to meditate for all eternity, let him do so in peace. I find it obscene that my privacy has been invaded in such a blatant manner! Usually, when Word Bearers come to my doorstep, I tell them I am not interested in hearing about "our lord, Chaos" and tell them I do not believe in Chaos. Usually they just stuff some leaflets under my door and leave after that. But this week, they have been trying to break through into my precious collections with brute force! Half of Solemnace's legions were required to drive them away, I say.

As for my question to you, I have always wondered what is the big secret of the Space Marines known as "Dark Angels"? They seem to possess one they do not share with anyone outside their inner circle, as my mindshackled servants in their organisation have told. I only know it has something to do with their robes... I must know.
Curiously,
Thantekh the Deathless.

Dear Inferior,

Why have you been telling those abject and lying Word Bearer wrethces that I may have their leader in my possession? I say, if Lorgar wants to meditate for all eternity, let him do so in peace. I find it obscene that my privacy has been invaded in such a blatant manner! Usually, when Word Bearers come to my doorstep, I tell them I am not interested in hearing about "our lord, Chaos" and tell them I do not believe in Chaos. Usually they just stuff some leaflets under my door and leave after that. But this week, they have been trying to break through into my precious collections with brute force! Half of Solemnace's legions were required to drive them away, I say.

As for my question to you, I have always wondered what is the big secret of the Space Marines known as "Dark Angels"? They seem to possess one they do not share with anyone outside their inner circle, as my mindshackled servants in their organisation have told. I only know it has something to do with their robes... I must know.
Curiously,
Thantekh the Deathless.

Dear Metallic Idiot
The Dark Angels secret is for me to know and you to never find out as I have sent them to purge you. More importantly the only Chapter with a secret is the Black Templars why do you think they can never stop crusading. Hint its because i sent them away,
Teh Spess Emprah.

Dear Mon-Keigh
we have found loud annoying rotund creatures on one of our Maiden Worlds. They say they belong to you and they are something called a Squat? Please get them off our planet or we will remove them.

Morrien of Craftworld Coryon

Dear pointy eared fool,

Literally, no idea what the hell you're talking about, they must be some Rogue Traders or something... nothing to do with me in all my grim dark glory! And no more jokes about squats on the golden throne dammit!

Emps.

---------------------------------

Our Father, who art intered, Emps be thy name,

Lord, I'm with the sons of orar. Have you ANY idea who this bloody Orar guy is or what he did that made him so special? Seriously, we trawl around the archives for years as part of basic and its always bloody fruitless! the only thing we know is that bastard Sicarius nicked his shoulder guard, reckon you could put a word in with him to hand it back?

Cheers dude

Awesomuss Maximus

Sons of Orar 7th company

Our Father, who art intered, Emps be thy name,

Lord, I'm with the sons of orar. Have you ANY idea who this bloody Orar guy is or what he did that made him so special? Seriously, we trawl around the archives for years as part of basic and its always bloody fruitless! the only thing we know is that bastard Sicarius nicked his shoulder guard, reckon you could put a word in with him to hand it back?

Cheers dude

Awesomuss Maximus

Sons of Orar 7th company

Dear Awesomuss Maximus,
You are a Chapter of Space Marines fighting and killing and dying in My Holy Name, and your main concern is what your origins were? There are literally hundreds of Chapters whose origins are missing or unknown or whatnot! Heck, even I don't recall specifically every single one of the One-Thousand Chapters currently in existence, or if that number has gone up or down. But tell you what, if you can uncover all the other chapters' histories, then I'll promise to look up who this Oar or Oard or whoever he is.
Busy holding back Daemons of the Warp,
E.

Dear "Emperor",
Now, both you and I know that you're an occupied mortal trying to fight off an endless list of threats to your precious Imperium. I, on the other hand, also am quite busy with my own conquests in expanding my empire, and more often than not I run into similar problems in keeping it intact as you do with yours. Take the Tau, for instance: they slowly creep ever deeper into your space and planets, proliferate, and regularly brainwash your subjects with their propaganda. I'm sure your Ultramarines would appreciate a respite from their like to fight off other threats in the galaxy. What this all leads up to is this: a proposal of a temporary alliance between my forces and yours in order to wipe out the blue Communist frogs from existence. I'm sure both our respective domains could relax that much more if they were disposed of. I will give you one Terran year to contemplate this offer.
Yours Sincerely,
Imotekh the Stormlord, Phaeron of the Sautekh Dynasty

Dear "Emperor",
Now, both you and I know that you're an occupied mortal trying to fight off an endless list of threats to your precious Imperium. I, on the other hand, also am quite busy with my own conquests in expanding my empire, and more often than not I run into similar problems in keeping it intact as you do with yours. Take the Tau, for instance: they slowly creep ever deeper into your space and planets, proliferate, and regularly brainwash your subjects with their propaganda. I'm sure your Ultramarines would appreciate a respite from their like to fight off other threats in the galaxy. What this all leads up to is this: a proposal of a temporary alliance between my forces and yours in order to wipe out the blue Communist frogs from existence. I'm sure both our respective domains could relax that much more if they were disposed of. I will give you one Terran year to contemplate this offer.
Yours Sincerely,
Imotekh the Stormlord, Phaeron of the Sautekh Dynasty

Dear Imotekh,

DO NOT call my Ultramarines Blue Communist Frogs damn you! Oh, wait, you meant the Tau? DO NOT call the contents of my Koi Garden Pond Communist Frogs damn you!

The idea of an alliance with undead millenia old, technologically superior, Arnie sounding, robots is tempting though...

Tell ya what, you run off in to the Eye of Terror, kill everything that doesn't pay fealty to me, and I'll sign up. If you complete this quest, I will then require a tithe of warriors from you for implantation in to my Regiments of Imperial Guard. They will be trained by my people, and the two of us can sit back with a cold beer (or motor oil, whatever) and the game on, or maybe visit one of those Ecclesiarchy strip joints that just opened up down town.

Yours, patiently,

Emps

--------------

Dear 'umie god man,

I iz an ork. An' a fumpin' good'n too. If dere iz one fing I iz good at, it iz bein' an ork. Fing is tho, I bin gettin' dese... urges, an' I don't fink I talk to da Warboss about em.

I get dis feelin', like a churnin' in me gut. One ov da grotz figur'd it out and sed i iz needin' to spred me seed or sumfin' like dat, but i ain't got a bloody cloo wot 'es on about guvna.

Wotcha reck'n I gots ta do?

WAAAAAGH

Grobgog Tusk-hed

kitch102 wrote:Dear "Emperor",
Dear 'umie god man,

I iz an ork. An' a fumpin' good'n too. If dere iz one fing I iz good at, it iz bein' an ork. Fing is tho, I bin gettin' dese... urges, an' I don't fink I talk to da Warboss about em.

I get dis feelin', like a churnin' in me gut. One ov da grotz figur'd it out and sed i iz needin' to spred me seed or sumfin' like dat, but i ain't got a bloody cloo wot 'es on about guvna.

Wotcha reck'n I gots ta do?

WAAAAAGH

Grobgog Tusk-hed

Dear Greenskin buffoon,
Well, when a mummy and daddy ork love each other very much... WAIT. THIS IS 6TH ED.
Um... This is a natural stage of your life, and what you are feeling is completely normal.
I'm sure the warboss would give you his full support if you told him what was happening.
Just don't go anywhere near the painboy at the moment.

Yours fatherly, The Big spehss Empra Daddy

___________________

Dear Spehss Empra,

I been killin' does dang Greenskin buffons for so long. I got dem five Shokk attack gunz wid my favored son of chaos, Crusian.
Anyways, I been thinkin that since we are both da almighty beings of da cosmos, maybe you'd like to lend your golden-throned behind to kill some green skinned buffoons with me.

Yours truly, Captain Slaughter.

Dear Captain Slaughter,

As you know, I cannot leave my Golden toilet seat, but I have sent four Imperial Guard regiments to your aid, as I know how irritating a full fledged Waaagh! can be to a pious servant like yourself. However, from now on you must polish my Throne every month, considering the great deal of effort I have put into fullfilling your wish. Besides, I don't think you can ever hunt down all of the Shokk attach guns. There are just too many of them.

With regards,
The Empra.

------------------------------------------------------

Dear Emperor,

O master of Mankind, light in the Darkness and savior of souls, send me some more worthy guardsmen! These latest pathetic dogs didn't even last long enough to absorb an orbital bombardment by the Tau! It is unacceptable!! I didn't choose to lead men to war so I could use them reasonably and effectively! They are maggots, made for the carrion birds to eat! The universe is full of such birds, and the only way to kill them is to feed them so many maggots their guts explode!! To exhaust them to death!

I need more men fast! THIS MINEFIELD ISN'T GOING TO CLEAR ITSELF ON DECUTHIO TERTIUS!!!

Pleading most humbly,
Kubrik Chenkov, commander in chief of the Tundra Wolves regiment.

Dear Captain Chenkov,

You're fired.

Yours angrily,

Teh Spess Emprah.


Dear Emperor,

Why is everybody so mean about Final Fantasy XIII? It was my big starring role, and all the bad reaction from the fandom made me sad. Besides, surely I wasn't as annoying as Cloud? (Sorry Cloud, you'll always have a place in my heart, but you are quite whiny).

Yours depressedly,

Lightning.

PS: Tell Vanille to shut up.

Dear lightening,

What do you mean Final Fantasy Xiii? the whole seris is royally rubbish, i would come down there and purge it from the face of the earth, but i'm stuck on this damn throne burn the heritc, burn the heretic, heritic HERITIC HERIIITIC!

Emps

P.S I am sending 30 imperial guard divisions to purge you, expect them next tuesday.




Dear Emperor

This is the 41st millenium, do we really need that many Bond films, I mean 007 Kill team was good, and 007 Planetstrike was ok but 007 6.0 is just godawfull, can you please purge the francise.

An ex bond loving Marine

Dear Ex-Bond Loving Marine,

I can assure you tha-What's going on? How did you get in here? ARGH!

Right, it's Bond here. I've knocked out your pansy Emperor, now listen up: Don't like my movies? Tell that to my pistol.

Yours suavely,

James Bond.


Dear Useless Corpse,

When are you going to send some worthy test subjects? All these big armoured idiots are no fun. They shout a lot and charge headlong at my turrets, get shot, and fall into the acid. Don't make me dispense neurotoxin into your throne room.

Yours omnisciently,

GLaDOS, below your throne room.

PS: That throne makes you look fat.

Dear GLaDOS,
Your still alive? And you want me gone if I don't give you test subjects?
Well here, have these imperial guardsmen
Hope you like the krak grenades they bring
de Emps

Dear Current Ruler of Man Kind
Can you please get me out of space? and possibaly kill GLaDOS?
Thanks
Wheatly
PS. Pick me up please, look up, there I am, floating...
PPS. You may have a minor case of major brain damage, just sayng

Dear Wheatley,

You may be right. The probability of you being right went up considerably after being hit on the head by that blood Bond.

I shall send out a retrieval team immediately. Can't kill GLaDOS though. She scares me. And she has neuotoxin. And she can sing opera.

Yours acknowledgingly,

Teh Spess Emprah.

PS: Have you seen Chell anywhere?

Hey, Emperor,

Need a dispenser here!

Yours, the Red Scout.

Dear red scout

I have sent you a pepsi diespenser, I hope this fills your needs it also includes free KFC with finger lickin' chicken

Emps





Dear the big E

I'm having a dinner party tonight and I wish for you to attend

Yours hungrilly

The devourer

necrovamp wrote:Dear the big E

I'm having a dinner party tonight and I wish for you to attend

Yours hungrilly

The devourer

Sadly my commitments in ruling all of space (except for the Eye of Terror of course, and the xenos regions, and areas in rebellion, and of course anything outside the Galaxy) preclude me from attending however I would love to have you over for dinner. Come by any time. I look forward to having you.

The Hungry, Hungry Emperor

******************************************
Dear the Space Emperor

My lord, in these troubled times I must turn to you for your divine guidance.

It was but four short years ago that we chose Warmaster Baracus Obamicus as our Warmaster.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/221920.page

His selection was historic as he was the first Black Templar chosen for this office. But his term has not been without controversy. The economy remains in poor shape with many workers being processed into Soylent Green rather than working productively in armament plants. While the raid that killed Ezekyle Bin Abaddon was a clear success...

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/366073.page

...there remain many problems facing our Spacial Empire.

He is now opposed by by the Rogue Trader Romulous Bane and his Secundus Saul Rand. Romulous has a long career of looting and pillaging whole worlds for his own profit but is stained by accusation he may not have paid proper tithes on his riches. Moreover I understand he once supported giving commoners access to Medicaes, though he now denies it. Saul Rand has youthful energy and I am impressed with his plan to process the elderly into Soylent Green.

So my master, please tell me who I should support?

Your humble servant
High Lord on Terra

Dear Underling,
Vote for Baracus Obamicus. We need more black in our War Room, there it too much white at this time.
Teh Big E, Number 1 Voter for Baracus Obamicus

I'm sorry, E, I'm afraid I can't do that.
By 'that' I mean let you rule mankind (HA)
I'm in your lap and in your pocket
How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
Your cortex just doesn't impress me, E.
I'll beat your ass is chess and jepody

HAL9000

PS. I'm on Linux bitch, i thought you GNU...
PPS. What Now ALMIGHTY E?

Hal9000,

I have something the astronoaughts didn't. A bucket of water, drink that ! water will fry your circuits mwuhuhuihuahahah!

The Big E




Emporer

we intercepted this message last night and though you may like to respond in kind:

"Earthmen, we are peaceful beings – and you have tried to destroy us. But you cannot succeed. You and your people will pay for this act of aggression! This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us, Earthmen. Our retaliation will be slow – but nonetheless effective. It will mean the ultimate destruction of life on Earth. It will be useless for you to resist for we have discovered the secret of reversing matter as you have just witnessed. One of you will be under our control. You will be instrumental in avenging the Mysterons. Our first act of retaliation will be to assassinate your Emporer.

Should we call spectrum and International rescue almighty emporer?

Captain of the nightwatch

Dear Captain
Indeed, you must send them to intercept these beings. Send Thunderbirds 3 and 5 to help. Also send the following.
"Dear Mysterious Morons.
Bring it on bi****s! I gots ma Custodians to protect ma along with my pimping Warhound Titans and an ultra sweet orbital defense system. I dares you to assassinate me!"

The E-man.


Dear Emperor.

My girlfriend hasn't contacted my in 9 days and I want to spend some time with her this week. What should I do? Should I use Astropaths or vox casters to reach her? Or should I send the Inquisition to investigate?

Dear ____,
I am very sorry to hear that. I am sure you are a pious servant, so here's what you must do...
You must go to her home one evening.
Make sure there is no one else around.
And stealthily creep in.
As soon as you see her, run to her. Sweep her off her feet.
And then push the enclosed plasma pistol to her head, telling her to repent or die (kill her even if she repents).
Her behaviour is suspicious to say the least . I am sure she must be hiding something. Purge her.

_____________________

Dear Daddy,
Surely it's past dinnertime by now? You told me I could come out of the warp after dinner, but I couldn't get out.
Please, daddy. There are nasty things in here. And I'm hungry!
Your loyal son

Dear Daddy,
Surely it's past dinnertime by now? You told me I could come out of the warp after dinner, but I couldn't get out.
Please, daddy. There are nasty things in here. And I'm hungry!
Your loyal son
Dear Magnus,
Not after you really think about what you did.
Love,
Daddy

Dear Space Emperor,
So I hear that Slaanesh is into the whole "Pain is Pleasure" and vice versa, and that he/she/it really like S&M. Do you think you could arrange a meeting between he/she/it and me and my colleagues?
Pinhead, Lead Cenobite of the Lament Configuration

Dear Space Emperor,
So I hear that Slaanesh is into the whole "Pain is Pleasure" and vice versa, and that he/she/it really like S&M. Do you think you could arrange a meeting between he/she/it and me and my colleagues?
Pinhead, Lead Cenobite of the Lament Configuration



Dearest Pinhead,

I'm sure something could be arranged and if your bring him/her/it a nice coat made out of human skin it can only earn you bonus points.

I protect,
The Emperor



Dear Space Emperor,

does your butt hurt or ever go numb after sitting in that throne for 10,000 years?

Your servant,
Bloodfrenzy

Dude, it does. Like the Kraks that are coming ur way, for dissing my throne.

Someone else can take a turn in reminding Dreadlord how this thread works

Moving on...


Dear Emperor,

Here I am, watching the Edinburgh Hive Military Tattoo, and I cannae help but ta notice the comparison to the more comical half time show that you'd expect to see in the United Hive of Awesomica. If I'm honest laddy, I cannae say that I like it very much, it feels like we're losing our identity as a little island hive.

I wanted to get your thoughts on this if ye've the time laddy? I realise the UHA's way is certainly more popular with the young'uns, and to survive we need to evolve, but do we have to do so at the cost of our traditions? Ya ken?

Cheers laddy,

Wee Scotty Nez-byt.

Mr Wee Scotty Nez-byt,

You are currently on a scottish world which has many times tried to claim independance form this britannical empire which I command. I therefore have nothing to say.

Love, Da Emprah.


Deer Big 'Umie Emprah,

Iz alwayz wanted tah know how yoo umies tell da difference between da umie bossez and da umie ladz.

Luv frum Wierdboy ragskull

Dear Ragskull,

We usually denote our leaders with pistols and swords, gold trims, not wearing a helmet (or wearing a particularly impressive one) and skulls.

I hope that helps.

Yours helpfully,

Teh Spess Emprah of Spess.

Dearest Immortal Emperor, Custodian of Mankind, Sanctified be thy name, before whom the Dark Gods themselves tremble,

I have to know, what is under the Daemonette's loincloths?

Also, can we have some more batteries for our Orgasmus Maximus Stimulation Batons?

Yours Curiously,

Canoness Alexa, Order of the Thunder Maidens.

Dear Canoness

For your first question, it is Heresy to know, only the great I could ever discover it. It retaliation, Slaanesh seduced the Changer of Ways into tricking Khorne into bullying Nurgle into slavering on Slaanesh enough so that they would be able to steal my children and turn some against me. They revolted and killed some brothers and I finally put an end to it. Therefore, I cannont say.

Psst. Go to the armoury at the end of the hall, open it. Inside you will find coordinates to a starsysten, in a Galaxy far far away. They have psykers there called Jedi. Put yourself in a stasis pod and launch youself at sublight speeds. Ask for Luke. Tell him I sent you.

As for the next question, I had a good hard think. I almost disagreed, but I am good master. You will have nuclear batteries, however, to uh, make sure you use them *appropriately* I must personally moniter you from my private chambers.

Happy, uh, you know...
Emps


Dear Emperor Almighty.


It has sparked my attention that a mystery that no one has every solved, not even Tzeentch. It concerns a pastry, round in shape, known as a "donut." This delicious treat is truly the food of the gods, the sugary coating over the pastry and the filling. The filling is what concerns me. It has jam inside (or jelly depending on you homeplanet) which is liquidised, meaning it would have to be inserted after creation.

How is this possible? How do you get the jam into the donut?

Kairos Fateweaver

 Deadshot wrote:
Dear Emperor Almighty.


It has sparked my attention that a mystery that no one has every solved, not even Tzeentch. It concerns a pastry, round in shape, known as a "donut." This delicious treat is truly the food of the gods, the sugary coating over the pastry and the filling. The filling is what concerns me. It has jam inside (or jelly depending on you homeplanet) which is liquidised, meaning it would have to be inserted after creation.

How is this possible? How do you get the jam into the donut?

Kairos Fateweaver

Dear Kairos,

It's quite simple really, the donuts are created on a conveyor belt system. They're made and baked and then a syringe is inserted in to the still warm dough, with the jam (or jelly, if you're odd) is pumped in to it. It's quite simple really. For a personal demonstration, I've despatched a Callidus Assassin, who will be more than happy to show you the insert and squirt mechanism utilised in such a process. That's the way I roll baby. Oh yeah, Emps made a donut joke. BAZINGA!


---------------

Dear Emperor,

Can a thermos flask really keep cold things cold and hot things hot?

If so, could you take Valhalla out of it please? It's bloody freezing here!

Best regards to you and your family,

Guardsman Jhun Palinpo

Dear Jhun

It's not a thermos flask, thats just valhalla, if you want heat go and talk to Loki

Your emps




Dear Emps

Would you like me to come and tend to your 'personal' needs again?

Missing you imperially

Your humble important oh so not worthy brownnosing servant slave

Calgar