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Captain Shrike wrote:joke about heresy with a Grey Knight

ha ha, lol

You: Knock, knock
Grey Knight: Who's there?
You: Heretic
Grey Knight: Heretic, where!?!
You:

Feed a Blood Angel magic mushrooms, their flashbacks are already freaky enough.

Walk up to an inquisitor and say "Death is my Meat, Terror My Wine!".

Guardsman - "Commissar Fang, I'd like to quit the Guard."

CF - "But why, son? It's your duty to get blown to sticky mince for the Emperor!"

Guardsman - "It's come to my attention that it's pretty dangerous out there, Commissar. I mean, most of our side have guns, sir - real guns! And the enemy are trying to hurt us! Someone might get seriously injured!"

(At this point the foot of a titan squashes both of them, in homage to Monty Python's Flying Circus)

tell a tau firewarrior that he cant shoot

let appear demons in your house when an Inquisitor of the Ordo Malleus live as your neigbour

run with a cahos ikone through an imperia city

an SOB or an eldar banshee when it´s a battle and an IG commissar is in the near

tell an khorne berserker that he suchs in CC

ask khorne to give you some skulls form the skull throne

give an imperial eagle a new paint (like pink or someelse)

never, never say that you the real emperor!

ask an vindicare if he can give you one of his bullets...

Eat the Cake:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes, such as:

fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped ethyl benzene
pull and peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer

5 internet pts fer those who get it

Captain Shrike wrote:Eat the Cake:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes, such as:

fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped ethyl benzene
pull and peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer

5 internet pts fer those who get it

wait a minute...... the cake is a lie

tell an space wolf that he need a new haircut

play poker at a slaanesh cultist party

use servoskulls for playing football

shake hands with a cybot

shas'o vera wrote:

Captain Shrike wrote:Eat the Cake:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes, such as:

fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped ethyl benzene
pull and peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer

5 internet pts fer those who get it

wait a minute...... the cake is a lie

-_- no it is not good sir!
Copy and paste the ingredients...so to google....paste it.....and its called a ------ cake.....it kinda sounds good.....but the directions are in an alien languege which I can not read....Jibba Jabba

Tell Khorne your going to build a better skull throne than his and in half the time.

tell slaanesh you´re look better than him and and have more cultists in half the time

Tell nurgle that you can make more successful diseases in a quarter of the time.
Tell malal that you can be more chaotic to chaos in half the time.

Demolition derby with the rhinos.

Race Orcs

Put on glasses, a fake moustache and a handkerchief (on your head) and ask the librarian if HE IS... THE BRAIN... SPECIALIST?

Saintspirit wrote:Put on glasses, a fake moustache and a handkerchief (on your head) and ask the librarian if HE IS... THE BRAIN... SPECIALIST?

He'll make your head explode and then use the handkerchief to wipe off the grey matter from his boots. That, without actually touching the handkerchief

tell the religious guys (can't spell it) that a monotheistic religion is wrong.

Ask Kharn if he uses his chain axe as a butt scratcher

pet the hounds of khorne.

Pimp the commanders vehicle.

Soladrin wrote:
Pimp the commanders vehicle.

Unless you're part of an ec warband or de kabal.

pimp the golden throne like "Pimp my Ride"

Necronlord2 wrote:

pimp the golden throne like "Pimp my Ride"

Discuss your theory that the Emperor might be in fact Tzeentch...

Never jump up and down while screaming hey look at me!

Tell an oblitorator he needs plastic surgery

set up a care home for madbobz

insult a titan with anger management problems

adopt a genestealer

comb your hair with a lightning claw

Heres a good one dont care for your machines and anger their machine spirits as much as possible in front of a techmarine and see what happens

Anger anyone and see what happens

Being born.

but what if your the reincarnation of the emporer? surely being born as him Is something that you should do

Use a lasgun in a fight by yourself


Automatically Appended Next Post:


Say that this Recruitment poster was made by Huron Blackheart. Or believe it and join

say to anyone that what they are living in is in fact not real, it is a game played by fat people 40000 years before where people believe in this guy with a beard called jesus who can heal lepers and can walk and water, and whose dad is just called GOD, and mars is not the home of the cult mechanicus, instead it is just a red, uninhabited planet, and say that the warp is not real, and say that CHAOS is just a term for a bad migrain, and say that a mutant is just an inbred from a place called norwich, and say that the political views of the emperor and his cronies are just a national socialist idea which is just a copy of something which happened thousands of years before by a guy called Hitler and he was the most hated man in the world for his views. say that space marines could never have been invented and that the chances of any other life forms alive besides those on earth are very very very very very very slim and we are all alone in the galaxy. and say psykers or psychics are just people who have been smoking too much dope



And see what happens.