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Granted. Unfortunately they are only available from eBay for exorbitant prices.

I wish for a three-day weekend.

Granted, but you now have an 11 day week to make up for it.

I wish Eldar weren't as cheesy so people would actually play against mine.

*granted there now are less powerful than orks and chaos marines put together. Enjoy.

I wish I had a a mug of tea

Granted. You now have a mug of alphabet soup with only the letter "T" in.

I wish my new Eldar 7.5.1 codex wasn't as bad as it now is, but not as op as before.

Granted. The perfectly balanced Eldar codex is released to the masses...a month before GW drops 8th edition invalidating most of the changes.

I wish to have a good time out tonight.

You have an amazing time with a beautiful woman, however the next morning you wake up in an ice bath missing several organs.

I wish for GW models to be reasonably priced.

Granted. They are made from solid gold and silver. Their price remains the same.

I wish to see the concert.

Granted. You watch the concert on a Nokia brick.

I wish I could fly on my own.

Granted. Your falling to earth minus the parachute.

I wish I had nor got work.

Granted, but you now find that work is the most fun thing you could possibly do.

I wish I had sports car.

Granted. It's stolen and parted out before you get done signing the registration paperwork.

I wish the office buffoon would leave.

Granted, he leaves the office but is now your roommate.

I wish I owned Walmart.

Granted. It now owes its creditors billions, is unprofitable and being investigated by the fbi for tax fraud.

I wish for a warm day

Granted. Come summer, you will get a warm day. Sunshine not guaranteed.

I wish for a good lunch, at a cheap but reasonable price, delivered to my door immediately.

Granted, but after you eat the lunch you get severe food poisoning. Brutal.

I wish I could be a Super Saiyan.

Granted, you go Super Saiyan for all of two seconds before your heart explodes from the massive flow of energy

I wish that I had a nice, crisp salad

Granted, but you are vegetarian for the rest of your life (unless you already were). Oh yeah, and you know that salad?

It was a ham salad.

I wish I had a really sweet superdry jacket.

Granted. You find a jacket made out of dried sweet potatoes. It crumbles to dust as you pick it up.

I wish for a pet raccoon.

Granted. It bites you and runs away.

I wish for a good story hook.

Granted. The hook is especially sharp and you cut yourself on it.

I wish WHFB would be released alongside AOS.

Granted. The expanded costs and resulting failure of both systems bankrupts GW. No one buys the IP.

I wish for a good book to read.

Granted, the book is 3 pages long. It was good while it lasted.

I wish for a well cooked, perfectly done Subway.

Granted, It is however you last meal, before you are being executed for a Heresy you did not commit in the morning.

I wish these Ponies would stop weaseling there way into my mind. I swear. It's as if God is trying to turn me into a Brony.

Granted, instead they prance their way into your mind.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy.

Granted. You aren't sleepy - for a grand total of 3 seconds.

I wish K-Mart would get back to me about my job application.

Granted. Start looking elsewhere.

I wish simple things didn't have to be so complicated.

Granted. All simple things now a single solution and that solution is quick, clean, but oh so very wrong on so many disturbing levels.

I wish these prancing ponies would seriously get out of my head. They are starting to stink up the place!

Granted. They prance out of your head, and into your life. Best friends forever!

I wish for good weather all week.

Its sunny like a hot summer day for the rest of the week. As a hot summer day in death valley Nevada. Even when it's nightime the sun shines brightly as the planets have stopped rotating, cause global climatic disaster.

I wish that my house was'nt filled with horse manure. I HATE MANURE!

Granted, it's filled with cow manure instead.

I wish for some nice Dust models