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Granted. The absolute scariest horror film is made. After watching it, it permanently loosens your bowels.

I wish pollen didn't affect me as much.

Granted. Your senses shut down, and you become paralysed.

I wish vomiting was satisfying rather than... Not.

Granted, but you end up vomiting so much that your stomach suffers severe damage.

I wish that I didn't' have so many issues

Granted. You instead have one major issue that can't be ignored, and never goes away.

I wish GW's shipping under $65 wasn't so high.

Granted. GW's prices go up even higher because of it.

I wish I wasn't so disappointed about the Civ VI graphics.

Granted. Suddenly your memory is wiped where it deals with computer games of any sort. The Civ VI graphics blow you away.

I wish to play more Frostgrave this weekend.

Granted. Your only opponent beats you over and over with his grey plastic miniatures held together with elmer's glue.

I wish the Memphians werent so rude and full of themselves when they come to the lake.

Granted. The Memphians are homicidial maniacs when they come to the lake.

I wish Frostgrave had not been canceled this weekend.

Granted. All other wargames were cancelled this weekend.

I wish I was into Frostgrave.

Granted. But no one in your circle of friends, or even in your area wants to touch the game.

I wish to sleep well tonight.

Granted. You wake up late for work on your dream job, and promptly get fired.

I wish for my internet to work.

Granted. Your Internet works hard to keep you from using it. Meanwhile everyone else piggybacks off of your Wi-Fi.

I wish for game stores to become popular again.

Granted. Unfortunately the onerous policies put into place by companies to quash online sales that force customers to buy at a LGS alienates the majority of players who play at home, killing all interest in the games.

I wish I wasn't so busy so I could paint more miniatures.

Granted. You end up hating painting. Also all your models are finecast.

I wish some people would stop thinking they're always right.

Granted, those people stop thinking they're always right, because they are always right

I wish that I could afford Forgeworld Prices

Granted. You had to sell off your current collection, paints, cases, and supplies to do it.

I wish for better and more affordable lunch options than fast food.

Granted, but you are intolerant to all the food they're serving now.

I wish to know how to paint minis as good as the top-rated artists of the gallery

Granted, but you still can't paint that well, despite knowing all the techniques

I wish I could work up the will to actually expand and paint my Guard.

Granted. You expand their ranks by 1, then spray paint them all in lurid day-glow colors.

I too wish for better lunch options.

Granted. A new restaurant in town offers affordable, and delicious food. By the time you get there everyday, the line is out the door and around the corner.

I wish the new Ghostbusters movie looked good.

Granted. Literally every other movie coming out becomes terrible.

I wish for wishful thinking.

Granted, you constantly think happy things, but they never actually happen

I wish for some green eggs and ham

Granted. The dye used was unfortunately weed killer. Hope you didn't finish your plate.
(I realize now I could have went for some awesome rhymes in honor of Dr. Seuss, but I'll let the disappointment be part of the corruption. )

I wish Gargoyles weren't so finicky to paint.

Granted. They are easy to paint, if you can catch them first. Although they do tend to bite if you aren't fast enough.

I wish to find the missing wall.

Granted. You lose every other wall.

I wish for a decent summer.

Granted. Constantly raining, the frogs love the weather you wished up for them.

I wish my brother in law was more responsible.

Granted. Your brother in law is responsible for nearly every crime in your area going back at least ten years.

I wish I was not too tired to paint.

Granted. You are now too hyper to paint after chugging 12 cups of coffee.

I wish I could think of some better wishes to corrupt.

Granted. You think of the greatest wish to corrupt, only for you to trip down some stairs breaking both of your hands. When you finally recover enough to type at a keyboard again you have forgotten what it was you sat down for.

I wish I was back in New Mexico.

Granted. You are in New Mexico, buried to your neck in the desert sun.

I wish I had not put off mowing the yard.