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Granted. The horrible things that will happen to you will haunt your memories till the day you die.

I wish to know how many demons I can fit up on a match.

Granted. You are turned into a match, and you get to personally see how many demons can dance on top of you.

I wish I didn't always forget my paypal password.

Granted. Your password is on billboards all over town.

I wish I could get better cell reception at home.

Granted, your cell reception is great. But only when you're on top of your house.

I wish that a Chipotle would open up near my home

Granted. The traffic from the drive-Thru keeps you awake at night and the litter in your yard is infuriating.

I wish this chair were more comfortable.

Granted. It becomes the world most comfortable chair. You never want to get out of it. You wallow in your own filth till you die of starvation and dehydration in the chair.

I wish for a tasty treat.

Granted. You find a delicious tasty orange on your desk. You find the glass after the second bite.

I wish it wasn't going to get so hot today.

Granted. It flash freezes causing severe and offten fatal damage to all organic live in the region. Not to mention the structual damage to all the buildings caused by the sudden rapid temperature shift.

I wish my country would just plunge into chaos allready because of a ruined job market caused by companies and politicians.

Granted, it plunges into chaos, and your house becomes the site of several vicious battles.

I wish that I could actually fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Granted, but now you find you can never wake up until you receive true love's kiss.

I wish we didn't have so many ticks in our yard.

Granted. The ticks leave your yard and now reside in your armpits.

I wish fireflies lasted all year.

They last all year round causing havoc to your local ecosystem. The firefly plague will be responsible for the extinction of several important species of insect and plantlife.

I wish safe sex was much safer.

Granted. It involves full on armour panels which makes it unenjoyable and pointless.

I wish all food was tasty.

Granted. All edible food becomes very tasty, but all the same taste.

I wish I knew when not to open my big mouth.

Granted. You have 3 mouths of various sizes.

I wish for an original forum post.

Granted. Not only is the post very original, but also contains highly amusing yet highly illegal content hidden in the signature. This causes the site to be shut down as Interpol investigates everyone involved.

I wish that I, who is accustomed to the finer things in life, did'nt find this so bland and boring.

Granted. Being a parapalegic, this is the highlight of your day.

I wish for more Frostgrave fun.

Granted. You have great fun in the snow, but you unfortunately get frostbite on your foot and it has to be amputated.

I wish my dog would stop peeing on my floor

Granted. Your dog gains the intelligence to know better. Then use the toilet. Then learn language. Then ponder his existence in servitude to humans. The Rise of the Planet of the Dogs has begun.

I wish the night was longer.

Granted. You live in Anchorage, and don't see the sun for another 6 months.

I wish for more time to make terrain.

Granted. It becomes the only thing you can do.

I wish E3 conferences weren't so long.

Granted. Conferences are banned at E3, and are replaced with 8"x10" sheets of paper listing upcoming games placed sporadically around the city.

I wish this silty dirt wasn't so hard to drill.

Granted. It drills easily, but fills back in before anything can be done to it.

I wish to see those things bounce again.

Granted. The corkie bounces back and rebounds into your crotch. I'm sorry for your loss.

I wish for a new way.

Granted. You find a new way to experience pleasure thanks to Pinhead.


I wish frogs and turtles were never squished in the road.

Granted. They always seem to get out of the way. Buffalo, on the other hand, now psycho-dive into traffic every time you are nearby.

I wish for some free time.

Granted, you lose your job and have nothing but free time to contemplate just how bad your life has become

I wish the weather outside was more conducive to spray painting

Granted. The air becomes dry and cool. The sudden temperature change in your general vacinity cause hurricanes and typhoons all across the world.

I wish Finecast never had bad casts.

Granted. Finecast now never miscasts. Plastic, resin and metal on the other hand now suffer from horrible miscasts, bubbling and warping.

I wish to know what lies behind the veil no matter how bad the outcome.

Granted. It's pretty gak to be honest.

I wish cringing didn't exist.