corrupt a wish!

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**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It was issued by ISIL and proudly bears their seal right on the front.

I wish for a week long staycation.

**snurl**

Granted. You break your leg and have to stay home for a week.

I wish for more space.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your skull cavity has been excavated to make more space, leaving only the most necessary parts.

I wish to get faster.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You go so fast normal people can no longer see you and you die of old age in 1 month.

I wish our cats would speak to us in Klingon.

**pix3lboy**

Granted. They only know insults.

I wish I had more time to clear my gaming backlog

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but every item in your gaming backlog combusts into flame once completed and a new item not of your choosiing is then added to the end. By the proclamation of Ward, you many do nothing else until the backlog is cleared. Poor mortal...

I wish the color purple was banned

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but you've made Oprah Winfrey a lifetime enemy.

I wish for local 24 hour marathons of Dust 1947 games.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted but Paolo Parente's famously grabby hands seek you out every half hour or so.

I wish my cats didn't poop

**snurl**

Granted. They're taxidermy mounts. They don't do anything but collect dust.

I wish for less dust.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You hands are permanently transformed into dustbuster vacuum cleaners.

I wish my life was like a cheesy b-movie action flick from the last century.

**Hawky**

Granted. You woke up as an NVA soldier and John Rambo is about to give you a visit.

I wish to win the Tour de France

**snurl**

Granted. But you are soon disqualified for steroid use.

I wish to receive a free online game.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Have fun with Ultima 2.

I wish Brie Larson would give me a sponge bath.

**Hawky**

Granted. 20 years later when you become a famous and rich miniature painter, she accuses you of adulterous harassment.

I wish to get a new car.

**DV8**

Granted. But it's a flintstone's car.

I wish to win the lottery.

**snurl**

Granted. Then GW releases a brand new army and you blow it all on new toys.

I wish for motorised GW kits.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! The company discontinues all games to focus solely on RC kits of Rhino's.

I wish for an anime remake of Saving Private Ryan...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted but you go blind and deaf every time you hear or see anime.

I wish for the ability to flap my arms and fly like a bird

**Hawky**

Granted. Nothing happens and you just look silly.

I wish to run as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You get a speeding ticket.

I wish the Thai food would come to me instead of me having to go get the Thai food.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your house gets flooded with illegal immigrants from Thailand.

I wish for a old car.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You own a 41 year old Yugo.

I wish I could find the perfect guacamole recipe.

**pix3lboy**

Granted. Guacamole becomes illegal worldwide. Anyone caught making it suffers life imprisonment.

I wish it was cooler in my living room

**Hawky**

Granted. You live in a wooden shack in Siberia.

I wish I was cool

**snurl**

Granted. You are in pix3lboy's living room.

I wish for a beer filled weekend.

**pix3lboy**

Granted. You drown in a beer keg

I wish I didn't have to sleep

**Hawky**

Granted. You became a servitor.

I wish I had my own servitor.

**snurl**

Granted. You have a servitor. You have no idea what it's supposed to do.

I wish the cat would go sleep somewhere.

**Hawky**

Granted. It goes to sleep exactly there where it gets in the way the most.

I wish to go on holiday.

**snurl**

Granted. You go on holiday and are called back into work immediately upon arrival.

I wish work was drama free.