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Granted, the Spiral Knights win the battle against the Poo-Titans and you kill many Fecal Taco Marines. Impressive, but you really need a shower. And the poo is everywhere!

I wish that everyone (Tadashi mostly) would use armies made up of something other than: Mary Sues (and the man form), indestructible mechs, and beings with 'holy power' and invincible shields. Make evil plans! Ally through wishes, then turn traitor! Try not to use: My army X destroy person Y with their XHOIUGYIDFYK powers. It is not creative.

Granted. Everyone uses conventional armies that dont require googling to determine WTF they are. Mayhem ensues, and you get pwned.

I wish Tadashi knew what a slinky is.

Granted, he does. He also knows some naughty things you can do with a slinky, and you are given a hands-on demonstration...


I wish for an army of Guinea Pigs and Kittens that will protect me from anything.

Granted. However they are only leadership 4 and usually break and hide under the sofa if you are attacked by anything more threatening than a plastic bag.
I wish my old cat was still alive. He put a city cop into the ER one night.

^ ouch, and lol.

Granted, he puts you in the ER too.

I wish that I hadn't cleaned out my binder the day my notebook was due. Because then I'd have all my assignments.

Granted. You have never cleaned your binder and hand in everything since school day 1, which your instructor reads aloud to the whole class.

I wish for a spiral staircase.

^ Thanks!

Granted, the only corruption is that the railing is slippery. I wanted my old stuff back in my binder anyway.

I wish that I had a 2000-point Vostroyan Firstborn/ Tesla Corps army already

Granted. It's a grey and shiny army of DOOM!

I wish I could dream for as long as I wanted and be able to control my dreams.

Sure. You're in a coma.

I wish Romney had made it into power, only for me to turn up and shred him with my assault cannon.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Sure. You're in a coma.

I wish Romney had made it into power, only for me to turn up and shred him with my assault cannon.

Granted. The rest of his family tears you apart with your own assault cannon.

I wish I had a better fething memory.
I've spent a week trying to find those rules.

Joke's on them, assault cannons can't turn far enough towards my body to hit me in Termie armour.

Sure. You remember that you deleted them ages ago to make room for some "special" Tadashi pics...

I wish I could give America a leader... the leader it deserves.

Granted, its Obama

I wish notting but the butt

Granted - you get a butt for Christmas.

I wish the USAF would just drop neutron bombs on terrorists.

@Squigsquasher - the Gunmen are small in their initial state, but the space variants are bigger. Not to mention have a limitless energy supply (they run on the user's willpower/Spiral Energy), can create matter out of nothing, and can even alter probability (allowing weapons that break the laws of physics) on a whim. Oh, and Evas and Lilith may be big, but you do realize Gunmen can and do generate drills/weapons the size of planets or even galaxies, right? They can get that big too (they can get as big as the user wants them to) - and since they can alter probability, they can fight without any hindrance from physics and other scientific gobbledegook. Not to mention limitless missiles which can strike every enemy target at every point in space-time simultaneously. And if the user can generate enough Spiral Energy to power a Gunmen, they should have more than enough willpower to see through and shatter Lilith's illusions with a single thought.

Sure. The terrorists have Gunmen.

I wish they didn't have gunmen when I go to tear them apart with my termie armour.

Granted. I side with the terrorists. And I have a lascannon. And your crux fails to protect you.
NEVER forget the lascannon.

I wish I knew what the hell was taking the admins so long to publish my story on booksie.

Granted. But now you really, really wish you didn't know. And you only ever get one wish.

I wish I was better at chess.

Sure. But you forgot the lascannons.

I wish my Crux did protect me.

Sure it does. But if I remember correctly my nemesis force sword ignores invulnerable saves.

I wish the admins weren't doing whatever gray meant.

They aren't. They're doing what Grey means.
And no, force swords don't ignore INV saves. I live.

I wish Tadashi had Terminator armour.

Granted, however the power is off and as a result it does not move or function.

I wish I had a fully functioning Warlord Titan.

You have it. Wazdakka.

I wish Robot had a suit of terminator armour.

Granted. He cannot eat, drink, or breathe as the technology to power terminator armour doesn't exist yet.
You are charged for manslaughter.

I wish liquidjoshi had a suit of terminator armour.

Granted. I already have one, that's perfectly functioning, keeping me alive, and has been for some time. So is Brobot's.

I wish Far Seer was a grot. A really unlucky one.

Granted. Far Seer becomes a grot. He is really unlucky because the Twilight and Beiber fangirls decide to defend him from other people.

I wish that I knew some more tricks to finish proofs.

Granted. You finish them in no time but the Proofreader picks them apart and they must all be redone.

I wish for a set of Forgeworld Grot Tanks.

Granted but Gene Simons steals them and then do unmentionable things to you while you sleep.

I wish for more Norwegians to appear on Dakka

Granted. Varg Vikernes is Dakka's newest member.

I wish I had more skittles.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
They aren't. They're doing what Grey means.
And no, force swords don't ignore INV saves. I live.

I wish Tadashi had Terminator armour.

In which case I use my patented Black Hole cannon. Enjoy being spaghettified.

Anyway, granted. They're all crazy-ass Vikings who find out where we live and kill us.

I wish that the corruption following this wish was invalid and had no effect.

Granted, it is invalid. Just like your wife.

And you were ninja'd.

No wish. What will happen?

You get a cute kitten. However, this Kitten killed Lucius. At some point in the future, it will turn into him. Have fun with your Lucius-bomb!


I wish I had a Chinchilla.