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Skipping someone's wish after they ninja the next poster is heresy, don't you know.
So GW came and confiscated your Centurion tree for copyright infringement issues. Confiscated with heavy flamers.

That's right, no wish this time. Do your worst; I dare you.

No Wish. You are forced to watch as Matt Ward destroys all that you hold dear, er wait wot?
OK you are forced to paint My Little Pony models to a Golden Demon standard and then give them away at Beiber concerts.

I wish to be taller.

Granted, you are put on a rack and stretched out an additional two feet.

I wish for a Codex: Chaos Legions, with Chaos Legion tactics and better weapons.

Granted. However, it is written by Abaddon, and the codex forces you to fail epicly every game.

No wish. You are produced as Codex: Selym. It instantly becomes a meme for terribad, and you suffer relentless mocking wherever you go.

I wish groceries would go get themselves.

Granted. But they just sit there because they have already gotten themselves.

No wish, you are forced to release a duet album with Matt Ward. You then have to star as the wrecking ball in his wrecking ball video.


I wish for better headphones.

Granted. You have a set of Bose headphones. They sound so good that you never hear the speeding cement truck until its way too late.

I wish for more pumpkins.

Granted. Cyanide pumpkin pie. I wish I could come up with better wishes.

Granted. You wish for more chain wishes because continuity adds to humor, so PUMPKINS FOR THE PUMPKIN GOD (that's me, now). Unfortunately, your orange, fibrous, bulbous head looked like a pumpkin to me.

I wish for more pumpkin wishes(!)

Granted, Pumpkins now have the ability to make a wish. They wish for independence from the self proclaimed Pumpkin God. You are dethroned by popular Pumpkin vote.

I wish for an honest and good Dracula show.

Granted. You watch the one from 1974 starring Jack Palance, then watch the early '90s version with Gary Oldman. Then you won't be able to sleep for weeks.
Also check out Polanski's Fearless Vampire Killers for laughs.
I wish there were more good movies like that.

Granted, but aduences are more interested in gakky vampire movie 6.

I wish for a copy of battlefield 4 and a box of gun mages.

Granted. The Gun Mages are not at all happy about being in a box and come out shooting holes in everything and everyone in sight, including your new copy of Battlefield 4.

I wish for a smooth night tonight, no drama.

 helgrenze wrote:
Granted, Pumpkins now have the ability to make a wish. They wish for independence from the self proclaimed Pumpkin God. You are dethroned by popular Pumpkin vote.

1. I'm not self-proclaimed; I accidentally usurped the original pumpkin god and absorbed his powers.
2. You think my realm is a democracy, mortal fool? I will turn the revolutionaries into pumpkin pies, and the loyalist population will feast.


Anyways, granted. Everyone's just giving you the cold shoulder.

I wish for a pumpkin goddess opposite in likeness of Hera from Homer's Iliad, if you've read it (Hera was treacherous and disloyal)

Granted. But because you only wished for one and did not specify in what form the goddess is but another fictional character of your imagination.

NOWISHHAMMER. I drive a train rigged with explosives into your house, killing us both and anyone within 3 miles. Witnesses to be mopped up later.

I wish I had SCP-173 as a lawn ornament for Halloween this year.

You crazy kids get away from my property with those eggs or I'll blink! *SNAP* Heh, funny how you blink as soon as you think abo- *SNAP*

Granted, but it suddenly explodes. nuclearly.

*points to avatar* I wish to bang her ass [with her permission of course]

Granted. Her donkey is brought around and your begin to do unspeakable things to it.

I wish to go on vacation in the tropics.

granted, You are teleported to the tropics with nothing [not even your clothes]

*points to avatar* I wish to bang her [with her permission]

Granted. It's actually a he.
I wish I was pyrokenetic.

Granted. You can make fire solid, a rather useless power, as it still burns and spreads, except it now stops things from moving through it. You should have wished for pyromantic power.

I wish to be all powerful.

Granted. You are transformed into an all powerful laundry detergent, able to remove all stains while keeping colors bright.

I wish for an untimely end to the false Pumpkin King.

Granted, he becomes juice for Harry Potter's next breakfast meal.

I wish to be a daemon of chaos!

 Selym wrote:
Granted, he becomes juice for Harry Potter's next breakfast meal.

I wish to be a daemon of chaos!

Where in that first statement is there a corruption?!? You two teamed up on me.

Granted, you are a nurgling with a very high-pitched voice. No one takes you seriously.

I wish for bloody civil war between Snurl's people and Selym's in a power grab after my tragic, goddessless downfall.

Granted. The bloody conflict is fought mostly in your living room, destroying your home and making too much racket for you to sleep for weeks. After a few months a truce is called, with both sides agreeing to erect a huge monument depicting a victorious Pumpkin king stomping his enemies, on the former site of your ruined home.

I wish for a Happy Halloween for everyone.

Granted. Eveyone is happy because there were drugs slipped in their sweets.
I wish I had some green stuff.

Granted, your skin becomes green and sticky.

I wish to be cured of eczema.

Granted, a doctor comes to your house and skins you.

I wish for a new set of brushes and some new models.

Granted. They cost both of your arms. Literally.

I wish that all wishes from now on contain the word "kerfuffle".