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Granted, he is in a coma that will last his entire lifetime.

I wish Windows 10 worked properly.

Granted. Microsoft releases a statement saying that it is working properly as is.

I wish the rules would be followed, meaning each wish MUST BE CORRUPTED.

Granted. They are corrupted so much that they turn into something better than you originally wished for.

I wished everyone I talked to had the ability to take hints.

Granted, but they only take metaphorical hints which gets too confusing for everyone.

I wish for some simple projects.

Granted. You are sent back to kindergarten, where the art projects are comparatively VERY simple.

I wish I looked like a Greek god.

Granted. But you look like Hephaestus, the ugliest of the major Greek gods, and lack all of his powers.

I wish I could speak fluently in every major language.

Granted. But you speak in all of them at once, so you are labeled as possessed and forced to endure an exorcism.

I wish to remember where I put my 30 60 90 triangle.

Granted. The knowldege of the eldritch location it is stored in drives you insane.

I wish that my cat's squeaking was slightly quieter.

Granted, your hearing becomes super-sensitive and it remains the same volume to your ears.

I wish my French was better.

Granted. I will not try to corrupt that wish.

I wish for TS Erika to rapidly intensify

Granted. But his character is rewriten, making Star Trek Voyager even worse.

I wish I got all these out dated Pop-culture refferences.

 korbenn wrote:
Granted. But his character is rewriten, making Star Trek Voyager even worse.

I wish I got all these out dated Pop-culture refferences.

Uh,,,Tropical storm Erika is a storm, not a Voyager character.

Anyway...

Granted. You get them, and then they change.

I wish for an easier way to do an Event summary

Granted. You never have any events to go to.

I wish I had enough time in the day so that I can finish Aliens: Colonial Marines

Granted. You have 26 hours.

I wish for no SSR

Granted, it turns out that SSR was the only thing that could save the earth from Cthulhu.

I wish everyone would follow the game rules on this forum.

Granted. However, Badrukk has a heart attack. The joy of the rules being followed is deadened by massive grief that causes half the forum to become unresponsive. The admins shut down Dakka, as without Badrukk's humor, there is no point in posting.

I...

WISH I WERE AN OSCAR MAYER WEINER...!

Granted. Badrukk eats you.

I wish hot dogs were actually made from meat.

Granted. They're made from pork.

I wish for Erika to intensify.

Granted, but the process of granting the wish and wondering what that means is so stressful that I suffer a stroke.

I wish for an inedible roll.

Granted. I will not try to corrupt that wish.

I wish for Erika to intensify.

Granted. She intensifies so much that she implodes and becomes a black hole.

I wish Badrukk would either follow the rules or leave and never come back.

Granted. I will not try to corrupt that wish.
Except for you get a fish-slap.

I wish I knew where I put my pliers.

Granted. However they need to be medicaly removed.

I wish I would not leave my modeling tools strewn about the place.

Granted, they are all in one place, but you forget where they are.

I wish I could sculpt well.

Granted. You sculpt well clay figures.

I wish for Erika to become better organized.

Granted, she creates a huge organisation dedicating just to annoying you.

I wish Morgan Freeman really was God.

Granted. He is the second God.

I wish for Erika's WNW motion to be confirmed.

Granted, but then it immediately dies out, ending Erika's reign.

I wish that everyone knew they had to follow the game's rules for it to be fun.

Granted. they know, and choose to follow.

I wish Erika would organize to survive Hispanola.

Granted, she survives in a deep coma.

Wish = more people would post on the "guess song lyrics" thread.