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Granted. Unfortunately it's underwater 3 seasons of the year.

I wish McAlister's still had their pasta dishes.

Granted. they do, but they are the same pasta that has been there for the last few years.

I wish my lawn mower had not decided to die today.

Granted. You never had a lawnmower to begin with.

I wish it was Saturday again.

Granted. You slip, fall, and bust your head entering a coma for 15 years. You awake on a Saturday.

I wish dishes washed themselves.

Granted. They wash themselves but do foul things when you try to eat from them.

I wish new lawnmowers didn't cost so much.

Granted. The base mower is cheap as chips, unfortunately accessories like blades, belts, and the deck skyrocket in price.

I wish there was a cure for colds.

Granted. It's death.

I wish I was more talented at other kinds of art like drawing.

Granted. You are talented in all of the arts, but everything you do is offensive to everyone.

I wish to have the best weekend ever.

Granted. You also get the worst hangover of your life.

I wish everyone knew the earth was round.

Granted. The world becomes oval.

I wish for action and drama!

Granted. You are a caterpillar on a busy highway.

I wish for some lights.

Granted! Bright, multicolored Christmas Lights fill your home! Hope one doesn't go out though- it's all one very, very, very long string.

I wish long hair wasn't so hot in the summer.

Granted. But it burns like hell in the winter.

I wish for a quick victory on Sunday.

Granted, your opponent defeats you very quickly and wins

I wish for a nice, sunny day tomorrow

Granted. Followed by a week of hail.

I wish my feet didn't hurt.

Granted. The frostbite settles in, completely numbing them as they turn black and hard.

I wish I had more time to spend with friends.

Granted. You on congenitally joined to all of them.

I wish for some hobby time.

Granted. You get 5 minutes of hobby time. Per month.

I wish I could see reason in other's actions.

Granted. You constantly hear everyone else's thoughts, which quickly drives you insane.

I wish MtG was an affordable hobby.

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Granted. You constantly hear everyone else's thoughts, which quickly drives you insane.

I wish MtG was an affordable hobby.

Wish granted, but it becomes so affordable that they don't make any profit and go bust.

I wish this thread disappeared

Granted but the.........

.......

I wish for the previous wish to be undone.

Granted. Now the thread will continue to get lazier and lazier.

I wish for stuff.

You get stuff but that only leads to things.

I wish for objects to perform actions.

Granted. Objects, in this case boulders, perform a flattening action on your head; as they fall from the sky.

I wish the windmill hadn't burned.

Granted. The rickety old windmill never burned. Unfortunately after some local children went inside to explore, the derelict structure collapsed in on itself. Their bodies were not found until after a weeklong search.

I wish for more aggressive tires on my 4-wheel drive pickup to go muddin'.

Granted. The tires are given voices and literally scream insults at passerbys.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

Granted. You can! Until your lungs fill with water and you drown, that is.

I wish to be in a tropical location.

Granted. You find yourself in a sunny, humid jungle 200 million years ago. Hope you enjoy the Mesozoic Era! Rawr!

I wish I had a tamed dinosaur to ride.

Granted. He is still just a dinosaur, so he isn't too bright. You ride him off a cliff.

I wish I had a dragon.

Granted. It's the inflatable kind you use inn the swimming pool.

I wish for another Margarita.