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Granted. You are now inside a pyramid. There is no exit.

I wish for my phone's battery life to be longer.

 Verviedi wrote:
Granted. You are now inside a pyramid. There is no exit.

I wish for my phone's battery life to be longer.

Granted, it now lasts 12 years from full charge. However, it now requires nuclear power stations to provide the required energy to charge it at all.

I wish for more room in my bag.

Granted, it now lasts 12 years from full charge. However, it now requires nuclear power stations to provide the required energy to charge it at all.

I wish for more room in my bag.

Granted. Your bag now encapsulates the Solar system, providing a suitable receptacle for everything from the Kuiper belt inwards. Unfortunately this has blocked the light from every other star, causing black, uninspiring nights that cause the population of Earth to become nervous and depressed.


I wish for the hero that invented the Hawaiian pizza to be posthumously celebrated with the award of a medal and a statue

 Wulfmar wrote:

Granted, it now lasts 12 years from full charge. However, it now requires nuclear power stations to provide the required energy to charge it at all.

I wish for more room in my bag.

Granted. Your bag now encapsulates the Solar system, providing a suitable receptacle for everything from the Kuiper belt inwards. Unfortunately this has blocked the light from every other star, causing black, uninspiring nights that cause the population of Earth to become nervous and depressed.


I wish for the hero that invented the Hawaiian pizza to be posthumously celebrated with the award of a medal and a statue

Sacrifices must be made xD


Granted. A medal of dishonour and a weeping angel statue in case Hell ever spits him back out in disgust.


I wish for more vodka.

Granted. And no bottles to put it all in.

I wish for amazing speed.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. And no bottles to put it all in.

I wish for amazing speed.

Granted. Over 20kg of the finest quality speed appears on your kitchen table, but before you can use it, the DEA breaks down your door and pins you to the floor - arresting you.


I wish that I had a fully functional coffee machine in my kitchen

Granted but 100% reliable nuclear heating system gives you various bad side effects.

However it works during power cuts.

I wish for a lovely sunny day.

Granted. You sleep straight through it.

I wish for a competent mechanic.

Granted! His mechanic skill set is without parallel, but, is strictly limited to Victorian-era farm implements.


I wish I had a button on my desk that, when pushed, would summon a butler to my side with a perfectly prepared, cold, Grey Goose Vodka martini w/3x freshly stuffed Bleu Cheese olives for my enjoyment.

 BigWaaagh wrote:
Granted! His mechanic skill set is without parallel, but, is strictly limited to Victorian-era farm implements.


I wish I had a button on my desk that, when pushed, would summon a butler to my side with a perfectly prepared, cold, Grey Goose Vodka martini w/3x freshly stuffed Bleu Cheese olives for my enjoyment.

Granted. However it only works when your naked, wearing a solid gold squid hat that's 6 feet tall and being stared at by your mother in law armed with a flame thrower.

I wish that my cactus would tell me if its alpharius or not.

Granted. It isn't Alpharius, but it begins to hum imperial marches.

I wish to have more rockets.

Granted. They are all launched at your house simultaneously and will be arriving soon.



I wish I could catch a bullet in my teeth.

Granted. But your first attempt in unsuccessful, and leaves you able to do little else.

I wish to light more fireworks.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. But your first attempt in unsuccessful, and leaves you able to do little else.

I wish to light more fireworks.

Granted.


I wish I could write the stories in my head exactly as I envision them.

Granted. You are shunned for your sick and twisted, lurid descriptions of humanity.

I wish for longer fuses.

Granted. The fuses are longer, but extremely fast-burning, which you discover too late.


I wish to have the best seats to see the Calgary Stampede chuck wagon race.

Granted by you missed it queueing for hot wings and beer.

And there put of hot wings.

I wish I had a most excellently, perfectly formed apple for my lunch.

Granted, but it's an gen1 ipod

I wish I had an infinite amount of time.

Granted. But it passes quickly.

I wish to afford the Dwarvenforge Kickstarter.

Granted. But its so cheaply made models they make finecast look like a dream material and all the books are printed on toilet paper grade book materals.

I wish for a nice relaxing Sunday.

Granted. But, because I read your post so late, I can only grant it for the remaining 80 minutes of your Sunday.



I wish to be the envy of millions.

Granted. You are a gorilla named Harambe.

I wish to shoot more groundhogs.

Grants. You shoot millions and are respondable and infamous for there extinction..

Your history greatest villan.

I wish that my cup of tea would never run put and forever be full.

Granted, but you become deathly allergic to caffine

I wish I could travel the world

 ChargerIIC wrote:
Granted, but you become deathly allergic to caffine

I wish I could travel the world

Granted, you do so at speed of light. Your trip terminates with a very abrupt stop on the wall of your house.

I wish I knew whether or not Spartacus is actually Alpharius, and if so, does that make his friends Spartacus or Alpharius.

 Deadshot wrote:


Granted, you do so at speed of light. Your trip terminates with a very abrupt stop on the wall of your house.

I wish I knew whether or not Spartacus is actually Alpharius, and if so, does that make his friends Spartacus or Alpharius.

Granted. But the only way to do this was to make YOU Alpharius.

I wish to end all wishes.

Granted.

Due to a failure to specify you own wish, my wish for you to have double-purple ear beards will be granted.

I wish for power armor

Granted, but it comes with a Hello Kitty theme. Any attempts to change the theme automatically fails. On attempting to wear the armour, roll a D6. On a 2+ someone you know will see you wearing it.

I wish for three more wishes.

Granted but they thought you said fishes so you have a lifetime supply of mackerel.

I wish I had a pass to Comic Con.