corrupt a wish!

Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:

No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.

If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

**snurl**

Granted. You are featured on America's Most Wanted.

I wish for lottery luck.

**sing your life**

Granted, you win £5.

I wish the UK would replace the pound as its currency.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's goes to D&D 1st edition currency and since you have no platinum or even copper you're broke.

I wish I never hit submit for a forum post before I actually finish the post again.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

Granted. You join a bizarre cult which believes that the Internet is inherently evil and you stop posting altogether.
Oh, and no games, movies or television of any kind, obviously.

I wish to pilot a helicopter.

**snurl**

Granted. It runs out of fuel.

I wish to never run out of fuel.

**ChargerIIC**

You now s**** fuel and only fuel. You will do so every hour on the hour and suffer terribly with each bowel movement

I wish for a line of Imperial Citizenry miniatures

**Deadshot**

ChargerIIC wrote:
You now s**** fuel and only fuel. You will do so every hour on the hour and suffer terribly with each bowel movement

I wish for a line of Imperial Citizenry miniatures

Granted. They are made by Forge World, cost £800 per set (although you get 500 miniatures per set) and are terribly prone to miscasting. Additionally, they all have the same head, from the Gabriel Angelos model.

I wish for a line of generous beautiful billionaire women waiting to help me out with my plastic crack addiction.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. FBI special counsel is investigating each one and they show up at your house with a search warrant and seize your plastic crack as evidence.

I wish for a new back instead of this achy old one I have.

**snurl**

Granted. You have a brand new achy back.

I wish for an unbiased news source.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Turns out most of your political opinions were invalid.

I wish for a worldwide unified postal system.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It takes 7 years for a letter to get over any ocean.

I wish the beach would come to me instead of me going to the beach.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! The beach, however, is from Fukushima.

I wish I could get my hobby waaagh back, I haven't painted anything in over 3 months.

**kastelen**

All the paints are neon pink

I wish that fires of cyranax came out

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's written in sanskrit, have fun.

I wish tomorrow was here so my birthday trip was underway.

**Deadshot**

Lupus Mortem wrote:
Granted. It's written in sanskrit, have fun.

I wish tomorrow was here so my birthday trip was underway.

Granted. Tomorrow is the day Kim Jong Un pushes the big red button his desk labelled "DO NOT PRESS." It does fire Nukes, but anyone who's born on the day develops explosive diarrhorea. But that I mean that once a week at a random moment, 100 gallons of nitroglycerin will exit your bowels at high velocity. Best hope there's no friction burn when you wipe.

I wish I could watch the world burn (what can I say, some men just want to)

**Marmatag**

Deadshot wrote:

I wish I could watch the world burn (what can I say, some men just want to)

Wish granted! You receive a small post card, with a picture of the planet earth. It catches fire, and is reduced to cinders before your eyes. You lament on wasting a wish to acquire what was effectively a $1 postcard, which is now destroyed.

I wish for true happiness.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it leaves you in a catatonic state with a government approved doctor eager to fix what is classic case for euthanasia.

I wish for a new Astra Militarium regiment miniature line

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! They all have the look of "Green Army Men".

I wish every back-woods confederate flag waving, white supremacist twit could be time warped back to the ranks of General Pickett's charge at Gettysburg.

**Marmatag**

On second thought this feels like a rule #1 issue. I'll let someone else take that wish.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The South finds itself with dozens of Semi-Automatic rifle wielding fanatics. Guns of the South is now a historical documentary.

I wish for the news media to feature a cheerful story for once

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's so happy & cheerful you cry and keep crying all the next day at work.

I wish I had working Star Trek replicator.

**Marmatag**

Lupus Mortem wrote:
Granted. It's so happy & cheerful you cry and keep crying all the next day at work.

I wish I had working Star Trek replicator.

You wake up the following morning to find a working replicator, sitting in your living room. It's huge. Unfortunately, there is no power source that is both compatible with it, and strong enough to power it.

I wish this wish was uncorruptable.

**snurl**

Granted. But you vet a fish-slap for being a tit.

I wish the idiots would leave the statues out of it.

**Hawky**

Granted. Idiots now demand utter destruction of all books that contain information and words they don't like.

I wish I had find a genie lamp.

**biggie_reg**

Granted! Unfortunately the lamp is the size of a grain of sand and you lost it in the Sahara.

I wish I could control time.

**korbenn**

Granted, Since time is relative, you control the time you experience leaving the rest of reality uneffected. You do not get to choose how slow or fast time goes for you as this ability chooses the speed at random.

I wish to be less angry.

**snurl**

Granted. You are less angry but more irritated.

I wish to find the keys.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but they're defended by demons.

I wish I didn't have to go buy groceries.

**Commissar of love**

Granted you now live in an alternate world where groceries buy you and cook you.

I wish I was an actual commissar

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You are assigned to a penal battalion routed to Afghanistan for the 2nd russian invasion attempt.

I wish I could play the violin