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So the highly paranoid idiots have really shown their lunacy this time:

http://reason.com/blog/2013/03/01/pop-tart-pistol-7-year-old-gets-suspende

Sometimes I wonder if they aren't in some sort of competition to see how insane they can be about stuff like this.

Because, he could totally have shot someone with it...

Zero Tolerance policy. Quite a joke.

I'd be more concerned about the child abuse aspect of this story. Who in there right minds gives a child a poptart?

 Snrub wrote:
I'd be more concerned about the child abuse aspect of this story. Who in there right minds gives a child a poptart?

Yeah, they kill people, but not in the way that the fools at this school were worried about.

You know when you have a great joke but it will almost definitely derail/break the thread?
I'm having that problem...
Either way this is a hilarious story.

Go on make the joke

DOO EETTTT!!

I have a feeling it'll just pop up sometime.

He'll Pop a cap in someones ass.

He'll be toast if he does.

These crappy jokes are just popping up all over the place aren't they?

 Snrub wrote:
These crappy jokes are just popping up all over the place aren't they?

The sheer volume tartles me somewhat.

You know who else wouldn't allow gun shaped pop tarts?

Once you pop you can't stop... wait.

 n0t_u wrote:
Once you pop you can't stop... wait.

I don't think pringles are as dangerous as sugary breakfast snacks. Unless you turn the tube into some kind of mortar.......

Shape the pop tarts into mortar shells and we're onto something.

 n0t_u wrote:
Shape the pop tarts into mortar shells and we're onto something.

Dependent on how well it is nibbled. One teachers mortar round is anothers schlong.

Ugh, now I want a pop tart. I hate you all.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Ugh, now I want a pop tart. I hate you all.

Yes, now I want to buy a box of the cinnamon ones. Like I had in High School all the time.

 Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Ugh, now I want a pop tart. I hate you all.

Yes, now I want to buy a box of the cinnamon ones. Like I had in High School all the time.

Woah woah woah there Inquisitor. You might not want to admit to having possession of weapons of mass destruction on a public forum.

 Ratbarf wrote:

 Inquisitor Ehrenstein wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Ugh, now I want a pop tart. I hate you all.

Yes, now I want to buy a box of the cinnamon ones. Like I had in High School all the time.

Woah woah woah there Inquisitor. You might not want to admit to having possession of weapons of mass destruction on a public forum.

A box is a WMD. It's fine as long as Bush doesn't find out.

The only thing there should be Zero Tolerance for, is Zero Tolerance.

My five year old was brought a note home from school with her the other day, warning me about her "inappropriate language". Her transgression? Telling another kid she was going to "kill him" during an in-character game of pokemon.

Where does this 'zero tolerance' thing come from? Is it an American/Canadian thing? Because it's not something I recognise in UK schools. Seems contradictory that a country that fights so hard for the right to own guns is terrified at the thought of anyone expressing anything suggestive of violence. All kids draw and play with guns, especially boys, and guns are even more engrained in US culture. Drawing a gun is about as likely as drawing a car, if you told kids they couldn't draw, talk or play in any manner that suggested a car, then you'd say it was impossible.

Zero tolerance policies like this are ridiculous, they are mindless rules where no one has to think about proportionality or context for anything that might 'break a rule' before taking action. It's not taking any responsibility or accountability for anything, because no one makes a decision in a considered manner, they just go full tilt for the slightest infraction which is moronic and rather undermines their authority on situations which actually are serious.

I think we need more information before we can really decide on whether or not the school's response was reasonable.

If the pop tart was just chewed into the shape of a pistol that is legal in Maryland, they should go easy on the kid. But if he chewed the pop tart into the shape of an assault weapon, or a pistol with a high-capacity magazine, that would look really scary and they should throw the book at him. Can you imagine the headline? Kid sentenced to 10 years in prison for manufacturing assault weapons out of pop tarts in school!

We really need to do something about this problem of pop tart guns in ours schools!

 Howard A Treesong wrote:
Where does this 'zero tolerance' thing come from? Is it an American/Canadian thing? Because it's not something I recognise in UK schools.

I'm not an expert or anything but from my memory "Zero-Tolerance" policies started coming into vogue in the US shortly after the Colombine school shooting (though they existed before then, they were rare). Since the two teenagers in that case had been shown to have kept violent diaries and stuff like that, they started cracking down an any sort of perceived violent ideation in writing. From there it kind of snowballed into "anything that could be used as a weapon IS a weapon" type of butter-knife being treated as a machine gun policy we have now. It also merged with the pre-existing War on Drugs to the "aspirin is treated like heroin" mindset we also have.

I suspect the concept is alien to you because I don't believe they have mass shootings in the UK, yes? Or at least not on the scale we do here.

I remember the principle coming into our kindergarten or maybe later, im kinda fuzzy. But she held up a keychain with a gun. Saying the Zero Tolerance means they crack down on all things in order to make it fair and safe.
It made sense back then, but now it seems stupid.

Agree with Ouze.

Also, on a more fun tangent, pop tarts can be turned into flamethrower fuel, with a toaster as the flamethrower, if you disable the mechanism that causes the toaster to pop them up and disables the heating elements. The sticky sugary interior blazes up into vivid fire shooting (a short distance) skyward. There are some amusing videos online.

They're right, you know. Just last week the local GW manager had to sedate 3 10 year olds who smashed through the large glass panel with toy chainsaws screaming 'FOR DA EMPRAH!'.

Honestly, I think most psychology experts would disagree with the notion that relatively minor things such as accidentally chewing a small rectangular pastry into the shape of a pistol (because taking out a corner in one bite is obvious savagery) or toys such as the Hello Kitty Bubble Gun lead directly to murders.

Needless censorship really shines the land of the free in a positive light, doesn't it?

 Ouze wrote:
I suspect the concept is alien to you because I don't believe they have mass shootings in the UK, yes? Or at least not on the scale we do here.

I'm nearly 30 and can only remember a couple, they seem to be about once a decade. The only big one in a school was 20 years ago (Dunblane)

 Hordini wrote:
I think we need more information before we can really decide on whether or not the school's response was reasonable.

If the pop tart was just chewed into the shape of a pistol that is legal in Maryland, they should go easy on the kid. But if he chewed the pop tart into the shape of an assault weapon, or a pistol with a high-capacity magazine, that would look really scary and they should throw the book at him. Can you imagine the headline? Kid sentenced to 10 years in prison for manufacturing assault weapons out of pop tarts in school!

We really need to do something about this problem of pop tart guns in ours schools!

Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Mannahnin wrote:
Agree with Ouze.

Also, on a more fun tangent, pop tarts can be turned into flamethrower fuel, with a toaster as the flamethrower, if you disable the mechanism that causes the toaster to pop them up and disables the heating elements. The sticky sugary interior blazes up into vivid fire shooting (a short distance) skyward. There are some amusing videos online.

I remember Dave Barry writing about this. He did it under highly controlled circumstances. His wife was not home.

On a similar note we need to ban "L"s and the state of Florida immediately.

Forida, sounds catchy.