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I like gift registries, because it makes it simple and ensures you're getting the bride and groom something useful that they'll need. That said, if someone went and got something else, I wouldn't mind at all.

The brides in this story need to take a reality check and realise that if you spend 200 per head at your wedding or whatever, that's your issue.

The purpose of a wedding is not a fund raiser for the happy couple, or a free party for the guests.

A wedding is supposed to be a celebration and a public witnessing with friends and family of your nuptials.

Gifts have always been traditional in all cultures, as far as I know, though the method varies. In many countries, the standard gift is cash.

In the UK, a wedding list is fairly common, and has the advantage of ensuring the happy couple won’t end up with 12 silver fish slices.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
The purpose of a wedding is not a fund raiser for the happy couple, or a free party for the guests.

A wedding is supposed to be a celebration and a public witnessing with friends and family of your nuptials.
.

Hey man, I dont want to see your nuptials, Im just there for a wedding, not anything dirty like that.

OT: I think this mentality has come up from that fact that people still expects gifts later in life. Im turning 21 soon and im surprised people still want to give me gifts.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
OT: I think this mentality has come up from that fact that people still expects gifts later in life.

I think it is more people spending beyond their means and wanting to recoup the costs. If you can't afford a $100 a plate wedding without trying to force your guests to cover the costs then one probably shouldn't be having a $100 a plate wedding in the first place.

It depends...
In my family you aren't expected to give gifts for someone past 18 unless you are immediate family (Siblings/parents) but you can if you like.
This is only around because I have a lot of cousins so I imagine it differs from family to family.

 Ahtman wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
OT: I think this mentality has come up from that fact that people still expects gifts later in life.

I think it is more people spending beyond their means and wanting to recoup the costs. If you can't afford a $100 a plate wedding without trying to force your guests to cover the costs then one probably shouldn't be having a $100 a plate wedding in the first place.

But if your wedding isn't a massive, ostentatious event that puts you at the center of everyone's attention what's the point of having one?

 Monster Rain wrote:

But if your wedding isn't a massive, ostentatious event that puts you at the center of everyone's attention what's the point of having one?

Tax breaks.

I can't even remember what people actually bought us for our wedding and I frankly didn't care if anyone bought gifts in the first place, weddings are expensive enough to attand.

As to this story, some people are just greedy.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
ensuring the happy couple won’t end up with 12 silver fish slices.

With our engagement gifts and wedding gifts, I could open up a casserole dish shop
That's with a wedding list too....

 Palindrome wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:

But if your wedding isn't a massive, ostentatious event that puts you at the center of everyone's attention what's the point of having one?

Tax breaks.

Wouldn't a civil marriage give you that same benefit at a much cheaper cost?

I'm of Italian heritage; we only give envelopes with cash.

That being said, the value of said envelope is entirely dependent on my relationship to the bride/groom; and the dollar value they spend on the wedding in no way factors into it.

What kind of scumbag complains about a gift? Sheesh, people these days.

If you can't make use of it regift it to someone who can. Had they just told all participants that gifts must exceed one hundred dollars value then there would have been much less confusion. Also, if even my best friend had a wedding and pulled a stunt like that, I would not go.

I'll be honest, once I saw it was yahoo, then I clicked on it. I love the comments!

 Steve steveson wrote:

In general always say "you don't have to give a gift, we just want you at our wedding, but if you do want to give one ...

In some circles, mentioning a gift at all is considered a bit rude. Even just saying 'you don't have to...' Makes it seem like there is an expectation in the first place, you're just 'giving permission' to not give a gift.

This seems worse than the bondage kit some couple got from the groom's brother at a wending I went to.

It was Suppose to be a joke, was not very well received.

 Piston Honda wrote:
This seems worse than the bondage kit some couple got from the groom's brother at a wending I went to.

It was Suppose to be a joke, was not very well received.

I now know what im doing for all weddings from now on.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I now know what im doing for all weddings from now on.

That's tame. One of my friend and his girlfriend has received nothing from me but 2 and 3-headed dildos for their birthdays for the last 11 birthdays.

I even got 2 of my friends to start doing the same thing.

They have quite a collection now.

Ah! Actually, got that wrong, one time I gave him an blowable cow sex-doll.

what cracks me up is the lesson they are handing out about how a traditional wedding is supposed to work and what is expected.
a stodgy, traditionalist, lesbian, wedding.

The best thing to do would be to simply include a routing number on the invitation. That way your treasured friends and loved ones can show you just how much you mean to them by wiring the fiscal equivalent of their love directly to your account!

As the best man for a wedding next summer, I will be bringing a bottle of scotch and myself in a tux. If the bride doesn't like it she can complain to my mate or me, but it's her fault for demanding a wedding in Hawaii. Those plane tickets are murder for a guy who's not making much money. I'm there to support them and bless their union, if they want cash and prizes they need to make richer friends.

Going off at a tangent, the modern fashion for long distance stag weekends has become a excessive burden in cost and time for some of my younger friends and colleagues.

I'll concur with THAT as well. "Dude your wedding is four states from me, you want me to fly out the weekend BEFORE so I can fly out to FLORIDA with you!?" (not the wedding I'm to stand in as best man for, another mate's nuptials)

In the UK it is customary for the stag party to pay the bridegroom's expenses on the stag night.

That was fine in the old days when a stag night was 10 pints of beer, a curry and a strip show.

Yeah no a free trip for your bachelor party is a bit much.

 insaniak wrote:

 Steve steveson wrote:

In general always say "you don't have to give a gift, we just want you at our wedding, but if you do want to give one ...

In some circles, mentioning a gift at all is considered a bit rude. Even just saying 'you don't have to...' Makes it seem like there is an expectation in the first place, you're just 'giving permission' to not give a gift.

Yep. Like mine. In theory in the UK you should not mention it at all. We didn't. We gave the gift register details to our parants I case anyone asked and left it at that. We also told any of our friends that asked that tradition dictates that friends and young relatives do not give gifts. Gifts are traditionally from older family members to help the young couple set up home. We didn't get a single gift from friends, or siblings and cousins for that matter. and we have never given one so far. We will when young relatives get married ( and a few friends kids who are closer to us than our families).

It's just that most people have no idea how to write a propper wedding invert action and ruin it with junk about gifts, hotels and itinerarys. It seems like allot of people don't get the point in a wedding now with big events in far away places, gift expectation, bans on children, international stag dos etc.

My wife and I went to Alton Towers with a couple of her friends for her hen party.

I don't think we had any kind of list or expectation of gifts for the wedding itself (thankfully paid for by my wife's parents!), though we still got cash and gifts from some people, which was nice (we even got some warhammer terrain from my brother ).

I went to a wedding recently (well, the reception for one) where the expectation was for cash gifts. Can't say I was a fan particularly.

But then I went to a wedding (funnily enough between two women) where they had a web based gift funding site to pay for different parts of their honeymoon, which was actually pretty damn cool. My wife and I were happy to fund their (from what I recall) tickets to the top of the Empire State Building. Their wedding was also mostly done by themselves, where they made their own decorations, bought in their own drinks, sweets, party food etc. Was very happy to put lots of cash into the honesty bar (an old Nintendo 64 stripped of its innards ) - far more than my wife and I drank because it was so well done and we had such a great time.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Yeah no a free trip for your bachelor party is a bit much.

Ye. When it was everyone splits the restaurant bill for the stag and we all buy him a pint and £5 in for a stripper, fine, but in the days of weekend trips to ampsterdam/vagas they can feth right off.

 insaniak wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

This is me personally, But I dont get the idea of a registry
"Oh, We want you to give us a gift, but we dictate what it is" My cousin checked his Baby shower registry constantly, with names, got pissed I didnt get him anything for his bundles of joy, when i was 18 and had NO job. People go crazy over gifts, we just want free stuff.

The registry is just supposed to help people to know what you want... But that doesn't make it compulsory.

We had no specific expectation for our wedding. Some guests gave gifts, some gave cash, some gave nothing... We were grateful for whatever we received, but far more appreciative that people came and spent such a big moment in or lives with us.

We certainly didn't expect our guests to finance our wedding and our future... As it was, the cash gifts paid for our honeymoon... We would have had to invite a hell of a lot more people to come close to breaking even inn the wedding

Yea thats pretty much how our wedding went. The wife and I didnt do it so we could snag a bag full of money from everyone, we did it because we wanted to get hitched. End of. Man, those brides are the definition of bitch.

Marriage is stupid anywayon. "ducks"

Seriously, the only reason I'd ever get maried is if it would be helpful with taxes and stuff like that, and it would just be us going to the local office, signing a slip of paper and going to the local pub to celebrate, I'd buy a round for everyone and that's it.

Who the hell want's to spend a years wage on a party to celebrate the end of a man's life?

 Kilkrazy wrote:
Going off at a tangent, the modern fashion for long distance stag weekends has become a excessive burden in cost and time for some of my younger friends and colleagues.

So much this, I'm struggling to come out of them for less than £500 these days with flights, hotel, obligatory activity and then drinking.

Why would you agree to that..?