40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Co'tor Shas**

You gun-shot.
I insert the hole in my pocket.

**Squigsquasher**

You receive a pair of dreadfully fagtastic hipster skinny jeans.

I insert a zweihander.

**ChaoticMind**

you get 2 dreihanders, 6 desert eagle .50 cal handguns and a dozen solid leather calf high boots all on a confused tentacle monster.

I shove your avatar and the heavily armed and confused monster with 25 tentacles into the machine.

**Sgt_Smudge**

You recieve an amalgamation of Squigsquasher's avatar and a tentacled monster. It is covered in hideous tentacles.

I insert the amalgamated tentacled monster.

**snurl**

You receive a Shoggoth.

I insert Sgt_Smudge and the aforementioned Shoggoth.

**Squigsquasher**

You receive Chris-Chan. *shudder*

I insert the Dread Gazebo.

**Pyeatt**

You receive the Dread Pirate Roberts.

I insert a book of Your Mom jokes from the 90's

**snurl**

You get Nine inch nails.

I insert your mom.

**ChaoticMind**

You get your father in drag.

I insert Jack Skelington in drag.

**Squigsquasher**

You get a boner.

*rimshot*

I insert a pile of C.S. Goto novels.

**Pyeatt**

You get a pile of C.S. Lewis porn knockoff novels.

I insert three days worth of MRE's

**Iron_Captain**

Pyeatt wrote:
You get a pile of C.S. Lewis porn knockoff novels.

I insert three days worth of MRE's

You receive coupons for dog food.

I insert Tom Kirby

**Guardsmen Bob**

You receive Jack Kirby.

I insert the left testicle of the last person who decided to discuss who'd win in a fight between Tyranid and Zerg.

**Ascalam**

You get a bag of marbles.

I insert Old Zogwart

**ChaoticMind**

You get a howl of rage and turned into a squig.

I insert the squigified Ascalam.

**Iron_Captain**

You get a bowl of mushroom stew.

I insert one of the Emperor's toenails.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get one of the Emperor's used ear swabs.

I insert Space Dandy, and his dandy space crew from space.

**the shrouded lord**

you receive the evil guy from ice age 4.
I insert cataphracti terminators, against my will.

**Sgt_Smudge**

You receive the Minotaurs Chapter after your blood.

I insert the Ultramarines movie soundtrack.

**Iron_Captain**

Sgt_Smudge wrote:
You receive the Minotaurs Chapter after your blood.

I insert the Ultramarines movie soundtrack.

You get Indrick Boreale.

I insert CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

**snurl**

You get a box of AWESOMENESS.

I insert a Trollhammer Torpedo.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get a Troll mask, and hear beeping noises.

I insert all my dead batteries.

**snurl**

You get a copy of Gorka-Morka.

I insert an Ironbeard.

**Sgt_Smudge**

You receive a Stonehorn.

I insert a rampaging wildebeest.

**Ascalam**

You get choreography, but from the early 80's.

I insert Urien Rakath's used syringe.

**Pyeatt**

You get Doomriders used coke straw

I insert Dranon's Delight episode 7.

**snurl**

You get Turkish Delight.

I insert Space Hulk.

**Sgt_Smudge**

You receive an actual Space Hulk. It destroys Earth, but not before the genstealers on board maul you and infect you painfully.

I insert my best friends?

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get a bucket of blood.

I insert all empty spray cans.

**snurl**

You get a McDonalds Gift Certificate for free fries.

I insert some McDonalds fries.