40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:

No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.

If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a brand new SCV.

I insert a Zerg Ultralisk.

**snurl**

You get a ZergSmasher.

I insert a Jack O' Lantern.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a Starbucks Venti Pumpkin Latte.

I insert a bag of hair clippings from my barber's floor.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a sick cat.

I insert a healthy cat.

**Cream Tea**

You get a Felinid (Homo sapiens hirsutus).

I insert Kaldor Draigo.

**BigWaaagh**

Cream Tea wrote:
You get a Felinid (Homo sapiens hirsutus).

I insert Kaldor Draigo.

No you don't. Kaldor Draigo inserts you and you get a 28mm version of you jammed in a blister.

I insert a 3 foot party sub.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a CD of the Beatles' greatest hits (yes, including Yellow Submarine).

I insert one of Gru's minions.

**master of ordinance**

You get a yellow submarine, complete with Swedish sailors and a food store full of bananas.

I insert a single cheese and onion crisp

**Cream Tea**

You get a rowboat,

I insert 12 litres of superglue.

**master of ordinance**

There is a whirr, a clunk and some incredibly nasty sounding grinding, the machine shakes and something goes bang. Smoke starts to issue forth from within.
Disappointed you head home, leaving the wrecked machine and eventually forgetting about it after a few days.
A week later you get a curious envelope through the door, addressed to you. Upon opening it you find a bill for £400000.26 and a bottle of aquavit for the repair and de-gluing of the Vending Machine.

I take my rowboat to the freshly de-glued vending machine and insert it along with a steam engine, funnel and a cannon.

**ZergSmasher**

You get an old car that backfires all the time.

I insert a golf ball.

**jhe90**

You receive a copy of Tiger Woods dvd on putting. A cheap hat from a old Major and a a single tiny model of a golf course and a set of 1mm clubs to play on it.

I insert a glowing bacon scented cactus that sings in a lost language placed in a pot carved from a single diamond, and needs watering with beer.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a complete series box set of TV's 'The Brady Bunch'.

I insert a quarter.

**Cream Tea**

You get an empty sprue.

I insert a bill for £400000.26.

**ChargerIIC**

You get the receipt for your new EU-approved tax bill.

I insert my commissar models

**master of ordinance**

You get a copy of the USSR's political manifesto, an old had and a chainsaw.

I insert the concept of life

**BigWaaagh**

You get an order of poutine.

I insert Kermit the Frog.

**ZergSmasher**

You get some green stuff.

I insert Harvey Weinstein.

**Cream Tea**

You get a wiener.

I insert a floppy disc.

**snurl**

You get Nerfed.

I insert a howling banshee.

**BigWaaagh**

You get an echo.

I insert Chuck Norris.

**ChargerIIC**

You get Chuck Morris

I insert the Greater Good Uplifting Primer

**gruebot**

You get a Tony Robbins inspirational DVD

I insert an laspistol inspired airsoft gun

**EmberlordofFire8**

You get a strobe light and a burst ear drum.

I insert Alpharius' soul(s).

**gruebot**

you get a Hellraiser Puzzle Cube

I insert a Rubic's Cube

**BigWaaagh**

You get a bag of Skittles.

I insert Sean Spicer.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a spicy Sean Bean

I insert a thrusting spear

**snurl**

You get an olive spear.

I insert a multi-melta.

**master of ordinance**

You receive a martian tripod from War of the Worlds

I insert a sheeps skull

**BigWaaagh**

You get a plate of loaded nachos.

I insert a handful of Viagra.