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2013/12/28 06:14:55
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Last Remaining Whole C'Tan
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SC woman charged with stabbing husband with a ceramic squirrel
By M. Alex Johnson, Staff Writer, NBC News
A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.
The woman, Helen Ann Williams, 44, of an address on Clifton Street in North Charleston, was in the Charleston County jail on $10,000 cash bond, jail records showed Friday. She faces a hearing in Charleston County Circuit Court in April on a felony charge of domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature.
According to the police report, Williams' 41-year-old husband set out to buy some beer late Tuesday night, but he returned home empty-handed because the stores were closed.
That enraged Williams, according to the report, and as her husband set about making himself a sandwich, she picked up the ceramic squirrel and conked him over the head with it. Then she stabbed him in the chest with it, the report said.
The man fled to a neighbor's home to call 911, and when officers arrived shortly after midnight — on Christmas Day by now — they found him covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, according to the report. When he took off his shirt, they found a big gash in his chest, it said.
Initially, Williams tried to persuade police that her husband fell, but officers were skeptical because she also had blood on her hands and clothes, the report said.
Williams' husband was treated at a hospital for non-life-threatening wounds, NBC station WCBD of Charleston reported.
The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported.
source
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/12/28 06:15:53
 lord_blackfang wrote:Respect to the guy who subscribed just to post a massive ASCII dong in the chat and immediately get banned.
 Flinty wrote:The benefit of slate is that its.actually a.rock with rock like properties. The downside is that it's a rock
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4913/12/28 06:47:55
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fixture of Dakka
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The Squirrel gets charged with attempted murder.
Mark my words.
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2013/12/28 08:00:55
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Was the squirrel part of the neighborhood watch?
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2013/12/28 08:02:27
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fate-Controlling Farseer
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 d-usa wrote:Was the squirrel part of the neighborhood watch?
3rd post in. Good show!
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Full Frontal Nerdity |
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2013/12/28 08:10:58
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Gotta meet our daily quota  .
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2013/12/28 08:12:01
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Terminator with Assault Cannon
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The squirrel was later treated for post traumatic stress.
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*Insert witty and/or interesting statement here* |
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2013/12/28 08:15:35
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Kid_Kyoto
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If only the squirrel was armed...
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/12/28 08:15:48
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2013/12/28 08:31:40
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Nihilistic Necron Lord
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If he didn't want to get stabbed then he shouldn't have come home empty handed, he has only himself to blame.
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2013/12/28 11:51:03
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Little known fact about DCMs is we have a troll quota to meet or we get baned
To bad she didn't throw the squirrel there world be plenty of room for flying squirrel jokes of the Rocky and Bullwinkle variety.
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2013/12/28 11:56:45
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Junior Officer with Laspistol
Perth/Glasgow
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 Snrub wrote:The Squirrel gets charged with attempted murder.
Mark my words.
Thanks Obama
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Currently debating whether to study for my exams or paint some Deathwing |
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2013/12/28 12:48:39
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fixture of Dakka
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I'm not not sure what this is supposed to mean. Is it a DCM thing?
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2013/12/28 12:51:13
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Longtime Dakkanaut
Dundee, Scotland/Dharahn, Saudi Arabia
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The squirrel was only standing his ground.....
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If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
item 87, skippys list
DC:70S+++G+++M+++B+++I++Pw40k86/f#-D+++++A++++/cWD86R+++++T(D)DM++ |
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2013/12/28 12:51:56
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Snrub wrote:I'm not not sure what this is supposed to mean. Is it a DCM thing?
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thanks-obama
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Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
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2013/12/28 12:56:18
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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 KingCracker wrote:
Little known fact about DCMs is we have a troll quota to meet or we get baned
The Bane Box is very uncomfortable.
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2013/12/28 14:07:42
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Androgynous Daemon Prince of Slaanesh
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Good God, wouldn't you be traumatized if manhandled by that hideous slice of white trash? Should have her picture next to that term in websters dictionary. And yes, it's totally acceptable to call her that: if you stab your significant other with a ceramic critter because he/she couldn't return with beer due to closed stores, you are white trash. No ifs, ands or buts. No arguments. This lady...white trash. Jerry springer couldn't even handle her.
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Reality is a nice place to visit, but I'd hate to live there.
Manchu wrote:I'm a Catholic. We eat our God.
Due to work, I can usually only ship any sales or trades out on Saturday morning. Please trade/purchase with this in mind. |
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2013/12/28 15:53:44
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fixture of Dakka
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Not to worry, the husband can see his regular doctor due to being to so easily sign up for Obamacare.... 
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2013/12/28 20:44:31
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Krazed Killa Kan
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Well it's definitely a step above 'death by teacup'
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DR:80S---G+MB---I+Pw40k08#+D+A+/fWD???R+T(M)DM+
My P&M Log: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/433120.page
 Atma01 wrote:
And that is why you hear people yelling FOR THE EMPEROR rather than FOR LOGICAL AND QUANTIFIABLE BASED DECISIONS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE MAJORITY!
Phototoxin wrote:Kids go in , they waste tonnes of money on marnus calgar and his landraider, the slaneshi-like GW revel at this lust and short term profit margin pleasure. Meanwhile father time and cunning lord tzeentch whisper 'our games are better AND cheaper' and then players leave for mantic and warmahordes.
daveNYC wrote:The Craftworld guys, who are such stick-in-the-muds that they manage to make the Ultramarines look like an Ibiza nightclub that spiked its Red Bull with LSD.
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2013/12/28 21:28:40
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar
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That woman really belongs in the nuthouse.
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Thought for the day: Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
30k Ultramarines: 2000 pts
Bolt Action Germans: ~1200 pts
AOS Stormcast: Just starting.
 The Empire : ~60-70 models.
 1500 pts
 : My Salamanders painting blog 16 Infantry and 2 Vehicles done so far! |
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2013/12/28 21:32:12
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar
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Is the squirrel ok?
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2013/12/28 21:32:44
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fixture of Dakka
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Are you saying that she ought to be squirreled away somewhere?
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2013/12/29 00:12:02
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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5th God of Chaos! (Ho-hum)
Curb stomping in the Eye of Terror!
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Moral of the story?
If you're sent to go on a beer run... by all that's holy, you'd better bring beer home!
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Live Ork, Be Ork. or D'Ork!
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2013/12/29 00:26:37
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Assault with a deadly rodent?
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2013/12/29 00:26:55
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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I knew something was squirrelly about this story as soon as I read the title, but it soon became clear she was nuttier than a fruitcake.
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2013/12/29 00:30:17
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Lady of the Lake
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The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported
Cause it's a secret.
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2013/12/29 18:02:15
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Trazyn's Museum Curator
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It's totally the squirrel's fault. If he had been in the same room as the angry lady, he would not have been used as a weapon.
(Am I doing it right?)
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What I have
 ~4100
 ~1660
Westwood lives in death!
Peace through power!
A longbeard when it comes to Necrons and WHFB. Grumble Grumble
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2013/12/30 05:01:37
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Fixture of Dakka
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Thats... I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know I'm starting to think the person who wrote this is an old video game fan.
The writer used the word "conk". A very excellent word I might add. Makes me think of the video game Squirrel Conker. Who just happens to have a Bad Fur Day.
-Squirrel
-Crappy day
-Conk/Conker
See where I'm going here folks? Maybe? Yeah? Nah? Eh...?
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2013/12/30 14:03:11
Subject: "The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Battlefield Tourist
MN (Currently in WY)
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Sound slike she was getting a bit.... <puts on sunglasses> squirrrely.
YYYYYYEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
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Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing |
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2013/12/30 15:51:56
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Terminator with Assault Cannon
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HOLEY gak HER FACE!! I DIDN'T SEE THE PHOTO BEFORE!! she looks more likely to EAT a ceramic squirrel than to stab someone sigh it.
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*Insert witty and/or interesting statement here* |
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2013/12/30 18:31:24
Subject: Re:"The condition of the squirrel wasn't reported"
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Kid_Kyoto
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 the shrouded lord wrote:HOLEY gak HER FACE!! I DIDN'T SEE THE PHOTO BEFORE!! she looks more likely to EAT a ceramic squirrel than to stab someone sigh it.
She's got total :/ face
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