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 sing your life wrote:
Macha.

Oh, it's you! I remember you!

Why didn't you say so?

I doubt our Holy Emperor would date a... xenos such as her.

Oh, no, that is right. It was actually a lesbian Imperial agent looking for alien tail. I am sorry, my dear. I know how that feels.

What surprise I felt when what I thought was Scout's mom turned out to be another spy trying to kill me.

 Hive Fleet Cerberus wrote:
I doubt our Holy Emperor would date a... xenos such as her.

Pfffff I have picutures that would cause every Space marine, Inqursitor, sister of Battle and Preacher to instatly combust in pure rage fueld flames, Oh how strong manly hands he had amongst other things all those nigths

I.. No, I shall not fall into your heretical traps Xenos. You have insulted the emperor, for that you shall die.
As soon as I figure out how these grot-hands work.

Muhahahaha well too bad I hacked your software, enjoy the holopicts I uploaded to your harddrfive then, that I may have repainted your sacofagous in the blood of small children

The blood of small children is the standard warding medium, so nothing out of place there.

No no no, that is not how you make death threats.
Here's how a pro does it

Threaths? I do that for those whom I find cuddly

Now, being a rotting carcass in a metal suit leaves me kinda incapable of fething the fear turkey.
Whats not cuddly about a Rotting carcass in a metal exo-skeleton thing.

I enjoy the occasional threatening letter. It tells me I am doing my job right.

 Trondheim wrote:
Threaths? I do that for those whom I find cuddly

I don't do threats, only statements. Like "If you don't manage to kill off the entire planetary government of this world by tomorrow, you will die."

I'm worried about what kind of stomach problems that guy [Empra] has. He's been on the throne for the last 10,00 years.

 sing your life wrote:
I'm worried about what kind of stomach problems that guy [Empra] has. He's been on the throne for the last 10,00 years.

Actually, that was one of my operatives.

Okay, now that I have to call you out on, Alpharius. How could the Emperor possibly be your operative?

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Okay, now that I have to call you out on, Alpharius. How could the Emperor possibly be your operative?

I didn't say the Emperor sat on the Golden Throne.

I said an operative does.

So, let me get this straight. You have found a man of equal psychic potency as the Emperor, who is also completely loyal to you, and your best idea with him was to simply sit him on the Golden Throne?

 TheCustomLime wrote:
So, let me get this straight. You have found a man of equal psychic potency as the Emperor, who is also completely loyal to you, and your best idea with him was to simply sit him on the Golden Throne?

No no no, of course not!

We put the Emperor - the actual Emperor - somewhere else on Terra, and put him on a throne there. We then replaced him with some random operative who we placed on the Golden Throne, just for the luls. So the Emperor is now guiding the Astronomican from some slum on Terra, while a depraved Hive worker sits on the Golden Throne! Isn't it brilliant?

*Nods while applauding slowly* Well played. It'll get really funny when Abaddon fights his way into the Golden Palace and slays the "Emperor". He'll think he actually won. For a brief moment, his dreams and aspirations will have been met as he finally finished the Long War. Then it will all be taken from him when he realizes he killed an imposter.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
*Nods while applauding slowly* Well played. It'll get really funny when Abaddon fights his way into the Golden Palace and slays the "Emperor". He'll think he actually won. For a brief moment, his dreams and aspirations will have been met as he finally finished the Long War. Then it will all be taken from him when he realizes he killed an imposter.

Ah yes, it's really quite ingenious. There's also around 300 backup plans and lots of different plots and conspiracies within it, by order of the Black Library.

Why did you replace the Emperor?

 sing your life wrote:
Why did you replace the Emperor?

For the challenge it brings.

I don't see any recognisable gain for the effort you put in.

You human must be crazy!

 sing your life wrote:
I don't see any recognisable gain for the effort you put in.

You human must be crazy!

Oh no, we Alpha Legion just like infiltrating stuff.

Name a thing, and we did.

The war in heaven?

 TheCustomLime wrote:
The war in heaven?

Who do you guess is the man that started it?

But wasn't the war in heaven millions of years before Alpha Legion before formed?

 sing your life wrote:
But wasn't the war in heaven millions of years before Alpha Legion before formed?

The Warp is a funny thing.

It turns men into women, women into men and normal people into Matt Ward. I have been there once, you know. Damn Engineer's teleporter malfuctioned and before I knew what I was going on I was being molested, decapitated, infected and mutated. Felt kind of nice.

You humans must be crazy...