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 Verviedi wrote:
What is wrong with you today, noobbomb?

Show me on the projection where he touched you.

That blasted Katakan in the Witcher 3 touched me everywhere for 15 minutes straight, before finally dying!

Yes. I can see how that could be a disagreeable experience, but please avoid shooting him.

No. I must make more kills so as to score more points!

* Takes a slice of Verviedi's cake and eats it*

Ah, I can feel the fury of the Empra in this dessert!

I can also feel it.... in my bowels.

*rushes to bathroom*

That was not intended.

*leaves bathroom drying his hands*

Who puts a gallon of lubrication of oil in their cake?

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:
I don't know, but I'm sure you'll need some butter.

That... That's not how it works? [backs away]

You know, I could warm the butter with some bullets...

How about, say, 200 5.56×45mm NATO rounds?

That's.. Not how cooking works either.. [Continues backing away]

Do I have to give all you guys (and gal) lessons in less lethal cookery? [Watches sing run into bathroom]

My cake is completely edible among my colle-

Wait.
Are you biologicals capable of digesting that?

*Buttery backs up into me*

Hello.

Yes, we biologicals are capable of digesting cake.

In fact, I looooooove cake.

*gets evil grin*

As a rule, no. No we can't. That doesn't go in cake! Ever! How the hell did you even-

[Freezes] ... D:
[Doesn't look backwards]
Well, at least I washed off all the butter and glitter quite recently.

What does that have to do with anything?

*Waves mechandendrite*

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
As a rule, no. No we can't. That doesn't go in cake! Ever! How the hell did you even-

[Freezes] ... D:
[Doesn't look backwards]
Well, at least I washed off all the butter and glitter quite recently.

How did I do what? Change my avatar?

[Outwardly calm] [Internally screaming]
Because it means I'm not getting glitter and butter on anyone else at present?

Kaptin/Captain... No, I was wondering how he got a cake to rise without using natural fats of some kind.

I used pneumatic clamps and oxygen injectors.

*Extends clamps and injectors for emphasis.*

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Outwardly calm] [Internally screaming]
Because it means I'm not getting glitter and butter on anyone else at present?

Kaptin/Captain... No, I was wondering how he got a cake to rise without using natural fats of some kind.

Ah. I see.

To anyone who is wundering-Badrukk was killed by Nucleogenic Lifeforms. His Flash Gitz ran off somewhere, I don't know where. So, under orders from Captain Ransom, I took Badrukk's place.

A new member of out group, huh. What or who are you?

It appears to be a female Human.

 Verviedi wrote:
I used pneumatic clamps and oxygen injectors.

*Extends clamps and injectors for emphasis.*

Gah.

[[Running Commissar.exe]] (Running?) [Operation not permitted] [Commissar.exe has stopped working]]
[Twitches] [Puts hands over head and curls up into ball on floor]

I think I broke him. Running diagnostics...

*Extends dataspike*

 Verviedi wrote:
It appears to be a female Human.

Yep. Ensign Marla Gilmore at your service.

Anyone want to try out my synaptic stimulator the Ponea gave to me? It taps into your visual cortex. Shows you landscapes. I was just taking a stroll along the Tenkaran coast.

So you have a device that can simulate exact surroundings to the human brain?

*Walks away*

Ever think of using it to train soldiers?

 Verviedi wrote:
So you have a device that can simulate exact surroundings to the human brain?

*Walks away*

Ever think of using it to train soldiers?

In a manner of speaking. Would you like to try it?

It could be incompatible with my neural augmetics, however the risk is worth it.

I will certainly try it.

Here you go!

*gives synaptic stimulator to Verviedi*

*Connects device to port*

Th-
ERR-

*Collapses on top of BC*

*Twitches*

*takes the stimulator off Verviedi*

Are you OK?

*Twitches and lashes mechandendrite at nothing*

*shuts off Verviedi and turns him back on*

Hmmm, I think folks prefer I eat a cake rather themselves, although, Humans are such tiny morsels!

++FULL RESET SUCCESSFUL. BACKUP SAVED TO X DRIVE++
*Stands up*

I apologize for the inconvience.

Who are you? My memory-banks have no recollection of anyone in this room.
I am detecting Xenos life-signs in the area.

*Draws gamma pistol and shoots down modified Mechanicus drones*
*Tears off loxatl manipulator harness*

Purge the alien.