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Thank you kindly, good sir! Perhaps I may work for you for a discount, if you wish. Things were not going as one could hope whilst down in that watery hellhole.

*points at Cthulu*

OPEN FIRE ON THAT MOTHERFETHER!

SUCK IT CTHULU!

*hundreds of lascannon shots fire at Cthulu, accompanied by tnb's mortar*

*accidentally fires smoke grenades with mortar instead of actual grenades*
Request Cruise Missile, over!

Well feth. Now we can't see him.

*The conscripts prep their meltabombs*

Luckily, I have a plan!

GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE, CHAAAAAAAAAAAARRGE!!!!!!!!!!

*Much charging*

[Sits in a deckchair in the sunshine] Gods, it's hot today. [Actually removes hat and gloves] [Looks over at firefight] ...Way too much effort.

[Opens cool box and retrieves red ice lolly] Feel free to help yourselves.
[Drops some flavoured ice cubes in blackjack's bucket] There you go.

*cruise missile strikes on C'thulu's position*

*Quietly absorbs ice cubes into liquified self*

Ahh, that's better. It seems Cthulhu has some visitors he should greet.

I now bless your melta bombs, to become holy hand grenades! Soz cuthulu i want explosions.

Grenade out! *throws holy hand grenade*

...He didn't count before throwing it. What happens if you don't count?

[Dozes off]

*10,000 conscripts each throw their Holy Hand Grenades at Cthulu*

*Calls for off-map artillery support, and for a Baneblade company*

You seem to have a thing for Baneblades this week, Commissar. Am I sensing a slight compensation issue?

[Rolls up sleeves and puts on sunscreen] [Goes back to sleep]

 thenoobbomb wrote:
Do they kill people?

"Just boredom in your Mouth is all, delishuss pie!"

 Selym wrote:

*returns with an uncountable number of conscripts, each has a meltabomb and a lascannon for some reason*

 thenoobbomb wrote:
Do they kill people?

Yes. The xenomutanthereticarsewipe is just trying to poison you. Now get in line, and prepare for my orders.

"Poison? that would waste a perfectly enjoyable pie!"

"Oooh! a nice big Baneblade tank!" grabs the tank in one huge five fingered claw-hand and plays with the baneblade like a toy. "Vrrroooooom! vroom, Pow! Boom!"

I doubt that will work, Cthulhu is functionally immortal. It may however be possible to banish it. Or I might be able to extend the psychic null generator that Vervi' installed on my XV109. That should make us immune to his machinations.

 Co'tor Shas wrote:
I doubt that will work, Cthulhu is functionally immortal. It may however be possible to banish it. Or I might be able to extend the psychic null generator that Vervi' installed on my XV109. That should make us immune to his machinations.

"Of course it won't work, but it may make him do some bad things, he has such a small amount of self control when attacked, he just retaliates." tops playing with the baneblade as the treads got jammed up

"Of course I can;t directly do anything to him, nor him to me, we eldritch beings have a code of conduct amongst ourselves, Mortals however, that is another tale entirely. "

I would like a way to be an actual Kroot again. I can't do much mercenary work like this

You look far tastier that way, though. Why'd you think I've been gradually adding ice all afternoon?

[Winces from involuntary head-pain] Gah... I was joking, damnit. I'm not about to drink another person.

Don't forget, it's Kroot culture to eat the dead. Don't go walking off any cliffs now, or I'd be obliged to do it. If I had an actual mouth of course.

 Co'tor Shas wrote:
I doubt that will work, Cthulhu is functionally immortal. It may however be possible to banish it. Or I might be able to extend the psychic null generator that Vervi' installed on my XV109. That should make us immune to his machinations.

Oh.

*calls a cease-fire*

Let's do that then. And damn I'm thirsty.

*Takes a swig from the bucket of 2BlackJack1*

...Selym, that's quite literally sewer water mixed with Kroot...
Besides which, you have beer in the fridge.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
Don't forget, it's Kroot culture to eat the dead. Don't go walking off any cliffs now, or I'd be obliged to do it. If I had an actual mouth of course.

You really wouldn't like what you'd inherit there, fella...

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
...Selym, that's quite literally sewer water mixed with Kroot...
Besides which, you have beer in the fridge.

I've tasted worse.
And, y'know what? I'm gonna have that damned beer.

Well, thanks fella. That used to be my arm, although as my ancestors ate sponges, maybe a second me will grow in your stomach? Although I do have a way to ward off any other drinkers.
*Raises pheromone levels drastically*

I shouldn't be too hard to distill the kroot from everything else though.

Pokes Kroot goo bucket as he did with co' tor, makes kroot a kroot again.

Why thank you dragon! And it appears I got my arm back as well, it's a little sliny, but its here all the same. If you need any assistance, I shall call my kin to fight for you.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
Why thank you dragon! And it appears I got my arm back as well, it's a little sliny, but its here all the same. If you need any assistance, I shall call my kin to fight for you.

"Not a problem, but I will keep that favor in mind for a day I need it."

Hooray! Thank you for averting another bucket-based misery, Dragon! [Rinses out bucket and returns it to kitchen] Let's hope that's the last for a while.

[Heads to butter-tank for a sleep]

Hummm i think i might see if that sigmar fellow is back it was fun hanging out with him....