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I didn't realize we were going to be violating bears here. I have some of the more toxic smokes, if you want any.

*Lights one up*

Goddammit ANOTHER one?

I like my form as is.

*Crosses arms*

 Verviedi wrote:
Goddammit ANOTHER one?

You are aware that everyone in the warp can hear you two, right? My Daemon pet earlier was working on a way to turn this into a sitcom show.

Wait.

That means...

*Looks at BC*

Oh gak.

Back on track, I presume there is a reason why I was summoned here.

I assume it's because of your bubbly personality.

Selym wrote:I have some of the more toxic smokes, if you want any.

What do you mean more toxic? [Looks at own smokes]
Eh... Sure, go on. it's not like my life expectancy can get any shorter at this point.

 Verviedi wrote:
*Looks at BC*

Oh gak.

You seem concerned. ..?

...Nevermind.

*Inspects my own feet nervously*

[Sighs] There is a daemon in my kitchen, abusing the cooking apparatus with the fish I asked it to rescue. A primarch recently called me a traitor, removed my legs and broke both of my arms. You replaced my liver, I can't get drunk any more. My tank for whatever reason, thinks it's a dog.

And yet you seem to think that this discovery is going to be the tipping point. [Starts laughing]

...I value my privacy. It's creepy!

[Stares at Verviedi] Privacy. Here. [Stares at fourth wall] [Continues laughing]

Besides, I don't believe Selym. I speak aloud in here, there's no way that makes sense.

Wait. The fourth wall? But that must mean...

*Suddenly vanishes in a puff of logic*

BEHIND THE FOURTH WALL

I feel somewhat sorry for killing that poor grot... maybe I should ask the dragon to rez it? No... That wouldn't make sense... The entire point of this is to have almost no coherent story at all..

*Sips coffee*

God fething dammit, my backup is only 43% complete. I better get some more ice cream.

Oh, right.

*Looks fondly at avatar*

Looks like you're going back in.

*Tips fedora and continues writing*

*Fourth wall self-repairs*

"REALITY"

*Reappears*

I feel sick...

...? Gah! [Concept of reality cracks] [Puts arms over head]

Ok, at least the fence is alright. Time for the Knarlocs to start the basic training of what is and isn't food.

OOC: I missed a ton of things happening. Like, 4 pages worth

OOC:
So you don't have to read it all:
I have a female android body, There was a Primarch catfight, I violated Vulkan, BC has a new supernatural girlfriend, Reality is broken, Badrukk's a kitten, and Mortarion is now here.


What is not food? Please teach them that I, nor any other constructs I may inhabit, are NOT TO BE EATEN AT ALL. Not even a little bit!

*An ominous rumbling is heard, followed by the appearance of me riding on the back of an enormous Ultralisk*

"Hello again, snacks. Meet my buddy Spot! Say hi, Spot!"

*Ultralisk rears up on hind legs and lets out an ear-splitting roar, then starts moving toward the fence, smashing it to pieces*

"Good boy, Spot. Now let's find you something to eat!"

*Looks toward Knarlocs. Ultralisk looks at them too, and growls hungrily*

*Raises axe defensively*

You're in for more of a fight than you think if you can waltz in here and eat my investme- I mean prized and beloved pets.

*Runs over to corner and aims Railgun at Ultralisk*

Don't do it! I put a lot of effort into building that!

...That's not my girlfriend, [s]he just won't come out of my tank, and now it's scary in there. And my fish are all dead.
Also I never closed that portal in the tank, and there are several unaccounted for Daemonettes in this room.

We should really cap off those escapades before starting new one- [Sees ultralisk] [Growls] [Opens up on zergsmasher with plasma pistol]

Scary? I doubt it!

*Walks into tank*

*Door shuts*

(15 seconds later)

*Sprints out covered in whipped cream*

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. TENTACLES DO NOT BELONG THERE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

*Collides with BC and lands on the floor.*

PURGE. PURGE WITH FIRE.

Arf! [Plasma shots go wild] [Crashes to ground] ...Why.

[Gets up and resumes firing] Huh. Just be grateful [s]he likes you.

I should thank my brother Vulkan for those Grey Knights. We've began reverse-engineering their power armor.

Puts down popcorn and soda tanker

"I say! I have just the recipe to make the ultralisk a very tasty roast with trimmings!" Reaches out massive clawed hand, grabs no squealing Ultralisk and places it on a cutting boar with a massive knife,

"first, we have to remove the head and drain the blood, then remove the gizzard and gibblets, then we can work on seasoning, and buttering the skin so it gets' golden brown and tasty!"

Oh, I see my brother Mortarion has arrived! Such fun!

Care for a game of real-life Warhammer?

"So, who wants dark or white meat? this Ultralisk is like a big multi-legged turkey"

I need a selection of different meats to calibarate my mouth correctly.

Like me? If attemping to stick tentacles everywhere is liking someone, I hate to see what not liking someone is!

"I can make a plate of white and dark meat then for Verviedi
"

 thenoobbomb wrote:
Oh, I see my brother Mortarion has arrived! Such fun!

Care for a game of real-life Warhammer?

Sure why not.

*the Plague Reapers and Cockroach Tanks finally find me*

Ah, my army is here. About 10,000 points, all in all.

 Verviedi wrote:
I need a selection of different meats to calibarate my mouth correctly.

Like me? If attemping to stick tentacles everywhere is liking someone, I hate to see what not liking someone is!

How about some Rotting meat?

*hands it over*

Hmm. Well, I've brought roughly 3000 points worth of my Iron Warriors and 7000 points of fortifications. Excellent!