Our avatars in a room.

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**2BlackJack1**

*sits down cross legged in front of Selym*

Show us what you have to say, oh wise one.

**Selym**

2BlackJack1 wrote:
*sits down cross legged in front of Selym*

Show us what you have to say, oh wise one.

Indeed.

It was the start of the 32nd Millennium, when I was informed of a new crusade, being led by my brothers...

*two hours later, the story has devolved into a hideously long and complicated lecture on precise tactical movements*

**2BlackJack1**

*pulls out a notebook and rights down the lesson, word for word*

**Selym**

*three more hours of details later*

...which is why the Square root of Eldar Trickery is inversely proportional to the Rate of Bullets Over Time. Thus explaining why Witchcraft is Heresy.

**Co'tor Shas**

*pulls out dataslate copy of the Mirrorcodex*

*hands to blackjack*

I

**Verviedi**

This bed is wayyyy too comfortable. I suddenly desire movement.

*Attempts to leave bed, but the pressure on my ankles intensifies*

*Looks down to see my ankles securely held down*

Oh, feth.

*Draws pistol but is suddenly hit with a wave of horrendous pain*

ARRGRHHHHHH!!!!!!

I can't...

*Screaming*

The augments aren't working!!! What the feth is this place?!?!

**2BlackJack1**

*takes dataslate*

*looks back to Selym*

Anything else, these lectures sure are interesting.

**ZergSmasher**

OOC: I haven't bothered to read the last few pages, so my character is probably not aware of new developments...

IC: *Teleports in, along with several Protoss probes*

"To help control the chaotic events that seem to regularly unfold here, I will establish a Protoss base of operations."

*Probes open portals, warping in Protoss buildings. A sprawling base complex soon takes shape, and more Protoss warriors arrive through new gateways to help defend it*

"Hopefully this will help with our recurring Ork problem, at least..."

**shasolenzabi**

"Bear Goulash is all set with buttered bread on the side to help enjoy it!"

**Selym**

2BlackJack1 wrote:
*takes dataslate*

*looks back to Selym*

Anything else, these lectures sure are interesting.

*seems to have forgotten he just finished telling a story, and that you know who he is*

I am Selym, a Dreadnought in service to the Black Templars. I have served for so long, and been through so much, that neither I nor my brothers know how old I am. All I am certain of, is that it is my duty and my passion to lead the glorious crusades that my Chapter is known for.
Before I tell you of the Battle of Coven’s Pass, I shall recount a brief history of my Chapter, my crusade, and myself.
We Templars are a Chapter of Marines like no other. While most are content to merely defend the Imperium, we are always on the attack. It is our goal to expand the Imperium, and thus we do not defend. We do not garrison. We do not have a planet to call home, for we are fleet-based, to better achieve our goals. As we advance, we recruit from the worlds we pass by. As we march ever onwards, the light of Holy Terra, our true birthplace grows ever dimmer.
We began as the Imperial Fists, experts of defence, and defenders of Terra. When the Heresy came, it was the Captain of the First Company, Sigismund who stood alone at the gates of the palace, and fought the enemy leaders one by one in single combat…

*proceeds to tell an epic tale of a crusade*

**thenoobbomb**

*voice echoes across room*
He's also a hacker.

**Selym**

thenoobbomb wrote:
*voice echoes across room*
He's also a hacker.

*stops the story mid-sentence upon being interrupted*

WOULD YOU BE QUIET FOR ONE SECOND! I AM TALKING!

*returns to the story*

**thenoobbomb**

I'm talking as well.

**Buttery Commissar**

[Hears screaming] [Reluctantly stops trying on hats and goes to investigate] [Finds the room with Verviedi] ..?
[Reaches beneath foot of bed and deactivates clamps] [Pulls Verviedi to his feet gently]

[Door slams shut] ...?
[Attempts to open door and is violently shocked by the door handle]
Fine. [Sits on a chair and lights a smoke] [Localised sprinkler system starts and extinguishes it]

...Corrective behaviour room. [Considers] [Sits very still indeed]

**Selym**

*wanders off mid-story, forgetting that he has an audience*

**Verviedi**

...Corrective behavior room?

WHY do you have one of those?!

**Buttery Commissar**

At a guess it's a manifestation of guilt.

Let's see- [stands up and reaches under mattress] [Pulls out smutty hat magazine] [Flicks it open and pretends to read]
[Is tasered by wall-mounted gun, and magazine catches fire] -yeah it'd appear so. [Sits up]

Man, this takes me back...

**Selym**

*enters the tank, and starts bashing down doors, muttering to himself*

Something something something something witchcraft...

**hanshotfirst**

Friend ship is MAGIC...
*Crunch*
MAGIC IS WITCHCRAFT, WICHTCRAFT IS HERESY!
also... do you want to be a wall?

**Selym**

*yells incoherently at the newly arrived marine*

**Co'tor Shas**

*jumps at sudden noise*

Oh, it's just a marine.

**Selym**

*bashes down another door, practically frothing at the visor-slit*

*a horde of Orks escapes the room, and starts running around the inside of the tank, bashing down more doors, revealing more Orks*

**thenoobbomb**

Soldiers, attack objective Elvis!

**Selym**

*settles down at Objective Harley-Davidson, for more storytelling*

This reminds me of the time that I fought on Armageddon...

**2BlackJack1**

*claps*

*sits down in front of Selym again, mirrorcodex and notebook at the ready.*

**Selym**

*an Ork has climbed up his back, and is now trying to break the armour open*

...this was then followed by a rather harrowing assault on our defence line, led by none other than Warboss 'Uge Fappa...

**Verviedi**

...Please explain how this reminds you of anything...

*Hears tapping on window*

*Looks outside*

*It's a field of people with no faces as far as the eye can see*

*Jumps a foot in the air*

AGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

What is that whispering?

**Buttery Commissar**

[Confused] It's just like being back in the Schola training program. [Looks out of window] Okay, that's new... I wouldn't like to guess what that means.

[Sits still in chair] It's pretty simple. All we have to do is behave for a few minutes, and the mechanism should release the door. Good thoughts, and don't touch anything, and we should be fine.

[After five minutes, the door opens] [Daemonette skips into room, kicks door closed and sits on BC's lap, giggling]

[Makes barely audible whimpering noise] Good thoughts... [Is shocked repeatedly by the seat] F-f-f-feth. We're so screwed. [Barely dodges servo arm attempting to insert soap at mouth-height]

**KaptinBadrukk**

*walks in. Reads scoreboard*

TNB: 9240
Selym: 6700
B'elanna Torres: 1500
BC: 0

So, are we still trying to kill TNB?

**thenoobbomb**

You can't, I'm still in Commander Mode. Go attack objective Elvis, I want to be able to deploy a cruise missile.

Here's something to get you there. *quad drops out of the sky and falls into the room*