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*the 2 cardinals get out a oblong wooden box and strap it to TCL's face*

Do you smell that, Private? That smell you smell is live and very hungry rat at the opposite end of the box to your face, kept at that end by 3 mesh grates. 3 times I will ask you to confess in word and thought, and for every refusal I will remove 1 grate. You can hear it squeaking in anticipation of it's long awaited right now...

*realizes the rat isn't squeaking*

Or you should be able to hear it squeaking.

*takes the box off of TCL's face and opens all the grates. The bones of the dead rat fall out*

Biggles! You were supposed to feed the rat once in a while!

*blams Biggles with his wheelock pistol*

*Casually flicks a switch to activate music, which begins playing Black Sabbath's Iron Man*

*Looks at BC*

++Remember your pockets++

I don't even know what you want me to say, Inquisitor.

 Verviedi wrote:
*Casually flicks a switch to activate music, which begins playing Black Sabbath's Iron Man*

*Looks at BC*

++Remember your pockets++

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

 zombiekila707 wrote:
Where will you go? Obviously your tank is still under repairs and you still havent explained "why" you slept with a daemon...

That never happened. [Folds arms] Y'all can't prove jack gak.

Also your "robotic friend" whos running around the circuits... sorry but he killed a couple of my sons so i do have to kill him... Also my brothers which ones were here.

See now there we have a problem. [Stops smiling] Verviedi would fall under people I violently object to seeing killed.

*Sigh*

Robot try to destroy mjalnar swords indestructible...*Dashes forward in a blurr of movement and cuts Verviedi into bits* .. Also make a new body

*Turns to BC*

Ulric has eaten your flesh and seen your memories. Space marines have organs called "Omophagea" It allows us to learn from eating the flesh of our enemies. He still has nightmares of the things you did with her... Honestly I am more interested in which of my brothers you saw not your strange fetishes.

*Notices guardsmen and strange red cloaked figures*

Leave him alone or I will feed you to my wolves.

 zombiekila707 wrote:
You try to eat any of sons dragon I will eat your heart! Do not interfere! And Buttery Hereitic you bit him first with your daemonic teeth then he ate a portion of your arm to gain knowledge of this horrible place! Your tanks fine the treads are broken and the engines disabled we can still fix it. I already have iron priests studying it. The Idea that your tank is sentient is scary enough! And are you insane there is no such thing as a tank hospital?!

OOC: On the subject of tau no! I already have enough nightmares about tau and the fact they get more gundam suits scares me... I have played 40k alot and played all the races and I have never beaten the tau... I hate them honestly.

Not worried about little people, I will eat what and who I want!


OOC: Keeps his Tau collection in hiding spot.

*Liquid metal sprays from ruptured projectors, drawing my body back together*

*Takes a bow*

Thank you, primarch, for the excellent field test of my new liquid metal projection tech. And now...

*Music goes up in volume*

*Suddenly meltagun shots in Leman Russ' head*

*Tosses conversion field to BC*

..?

++I remember my pockets, what I don't remember is any explanation of why you put things in them++

 zombiekila707 wrote:
Ulric has eaten your flesh and seen your memories. Space marines have organs called "Omophagea" It allows us to learn from eating the flesh of our enemies. He still has nightmares of the things you did with her... Honestly I am more interested in which of my brothers you saw not your strange fetishes.

Now see, those thigns are only nightmarish if you have conservative views on gender roles... [Backs away]

As for your bothers, we have been host to Perturabo, Mortarion and that very angry Salamander guy. He did bad things to me. [Twitches]

There was also briefly the actual emperor, but he went away again.

shasolenzabi wrote:

 zombiekila707 wrote:
You try to eat any of sons dragon I will eat your heart! Do not interfere! And Buttery Hereitic you bit him first with your daemonic teeth then he ate a portion of your arm to gain knowledge of this horrible place! Your tanks fine the treads are broken and the engines disabled we can still fix it. I already have iron priests studying it. The Idea that your tank is sentient is scary enough! And are you insane there is no such thing as a tank hospital?!

OOC: On the subject of tau no! I already have enough nightmares about tau and the fact they get more gundam suits scares me... I have played 40k alot and played all the races and I have never beaten the tau... I hate them honestly.

Not worried about little people, I will eat what and who I want!


OOC: Keeps his Tau collection in hiding spot.

OOC: lol Just can never beat em and I have honestly only killed "shield drones" and watched my army get blown apart... My friends kinda of "that guy" though (imagine my orks vs 2 riptides 2 Hammer super laser tanks, and a gun line!) my orks never make it into assault so understand my pain

Verviedi wrote:*Liquid metal sprays from ruptured projectors, drawing my body back together*

*Takes a bow*

Thank you, primarch, for the excellent field test of my new liquid metal projection tech. And now...

*Music goes up in volume*

*Suddenly meltagun shots in Leman Russ' head*

*Tosses conversion field to BC*

*Melta shot ripples over force field*

I am tired of you robot so the priest of mars and my iron priest have something special for you...

*A copy of Verviedi appears and begins attack other Verviedi*

Yeah well have fun playing with yourself.

*Greater AI mind splinters itself off, taking control of the copy's body*

So who thought that sending a mechanical assassin was a good idea?

*Begins playing rock-paper-scissors with clone*

*The Cube remains quiet*

*rolls cube like a dice*

A 6! Woohoo!

Buttery Commissar wrote:..?

++I remember my pockets, what I don't remember is any explanation of why you put things in them++

 zombiekila707 wrote:
Ulric has eaten your flesh and seen your memories. Space marines have organs called "Omophagea" It allows us to learn from eating the flesh of our enemies. He still has nightmares of the things you did with her... Honestly I am more interested in which of my brothers you saw not your strange fetishes.

Now see, those thigns are only nightmarish if you have conservative views on gender roles... [Backs away]

As for your bothers, we have been host to Perturabo, Mortarion and that very angry Salamander guy. He did bad things to me. [Twitches]

There was also briefly the actual emperor, but he went away again.

Well like I said no need for details on your fetishes... Glad to hear Vulkan lives! And the actual emperor is hard to believe but *shrugs* this place is pretty fethed up.. Ill have to find my other "brothers" and bring them to justice as well...

Verviedi wrote:*Greater AI mind splinters itself off, taking control of the copy's body*

So who thought that sending a mechanical assassin was a good idea?

*Begins playing rock-paper-scissors with clone*

Oh... just... the omissiah...

*Verviedi Greater AI is flooded with scrap code and viruses of a "godly kind" In seconds he is burned from the noosphere and all electronics besides his original body*

How do you catch a unstoppable virus... You call open the tech support GODS!

*Verviedi "clone" begins the onslaught once more*

So your god has turned his face from you... whats your plan now?

Huh, interesting. I suppose it'll take a while for me to recover after that attack took my remote access abilities offline.

*Begins duelling my "clone", my needles and blades easily slicing through the skin and being repelled by the subcutaneous shielding*

Oh, damn. I see that this model was the one I was using yesterday, which means durability over firepower.

*Burns the last vestiges of the clone's skin away, revealing the slightly shimmery form of the shielding*

I may have been too smart for my own good...

*Blasts clone of Verv with a psionic storm*

"Hopefully that will take care of him for a while."

*Turns to Russ*

"You be nice to everyone, or me and my Protoss will have to teach you the same lesson we taught those other Space Wolves earlier."

*Clone emerges from the storm minus an arm and half of it's shielding*

Thanks!!

*Implanted railgun is scorched shut by the clone's digital melta*

Damn, damn, damn....

*Discharges six digital bolter shots into the clone's head, creating six large craters*

*Dodges the clone's blade array and punches it in the torso, uselessly injecting neurotoxins*

*Hit by an implanted railgun shot, blowing a chunk of my torso away*

That was my secondary fluid reserve, you bastard!

*Increases severity of attacks, aiming for nonshielded areas*

[Watches very carefully and takes aim with plasma pistol] [Shoots the clone in the back of the neck, causing a distraction]

Is that an exact replica of Vervi?

In that case...

*Presses button on dataslate*

*both Vervis' bodies melt, leaving only heads remaining*

Oh.... I didn't really think that though

*Liquid metal projectors begin rebuilding my form, but the clone is not regenerating*

The hell?

*As soon as arm becomes semi-solid, punches the head, sending it flying*

*Looks at Leman Russ*

Did you not know about my Liquid Metal Projectors? Haha!

[Facepalms] I swear to the Emperor you are the Robin Williams of the Tau.

Who is Robin Williams?

*picks up angry head and shoves a probe into the bottom and disables any shape-shifting*

Anyone need a paperweight?

OOC: That is the best description I've heard in a while.

*Finally regenerated*

I could play soccer with it.

*Hands Co'tor a piece of paper with the liquid metal projector deisgn on it*

It's a series of tubes throughout my body, with three storage chambers. One in my head, one in the torso, and one embedded in my spine. It actually teleports the nanites in from a tank embedded in the ceiling. I thought you might need it.

[Looks at Verviedi, puzzled] Why did you put nanites in my pocket?

[Shivers] My spare uniforms are in my tank, and this one is missing an arm and leg. [Points at Space Wolves] s'alright for you, you can cuddle up with your giant bloody dogs to keep warm.

 zombiekila707 wrote:
Well like I said no need for details on your fetishes...

You want to lecture me on fetishes? I've seen the way you viking-marines look at your wolves... [Folds arms] You're all fooling nobody.

They're an emergency measure for if you're severely wounded. In case, for example, the Primarch got pissed and turned your legs into pulp, drinking the vial or pouring it into the wound will cause the nanites to regrow everything to be consistent with the layout and genetic sequence that I have programmed into them. In this case, it's yours.

I also have a needle and thread implanted somewhere that you can use if you'd like.

Ah. I see. [Winces] You know, other than TNB and Badrukk, I'm probably running for a close third on most grievous bodily injuries recently.
At this rate I think I'm capable of single-handedly keeping Blackjack fed.

Maybe it's time to retire or take up a less hazardous occupation. Buttery Painter and Decorator... Buttery Driving Instructor... [Muses] Buttery Bus Conductor? I've got the hat.

Buttery Lab Assistant? Buttery Test Subject? Buttery Doctor?

No, none of those sound right...

Buttery Servitor? Nah... I already have one of those, and Servitorizing you would be a bit inhumane. And ungrateful. And why did I even think of that?!

*Facepalms*

Sorry for that thought.

"Buttery Terran, your occupation is not dangerous as such. You keep getting yourself into dangerous situations, and that is something a job change will not fix."

*Turns to Verviedi*

"I didn't know you had a servitor. And if it is so inhumane, why do you have one?"

Buttery Servitor? Nah... I already have one of those, and Servitorizing you would be a bit inhumane. And ungrateful. And why did I even think of that?!

[Alarmed] ...!
Also redundant because you can make a blank copy of me anyway.

[Listens to ZergSmasher and considers] I do have very poor impulse control, and conditioning to be overly-aggressive. [Looks at feet]
But it'd probably be harder for me to find myself in peril if I was a salesman. [Eyes go wide] ... Maybe I could sell hats! Then I'd be able to spread the joy of hat catalogues...

That reminds me... [Feeds the hat-caterpillar some celery]

Well... on the bright side to all of this... I found ammo for this bolt pistol.