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Where did the Daemon go?

[Looks over shoulder] The daemon and I share a body. When he goes quiet, it's either because he's watching, or has gone somewhere online to cause trouble.

I like to think it explains a lot of online trolls.

He? That's a turn off...

I thought you Dark Eldar were open minded? [Raises eyebrow]

And Perron is a Keeper of Secret, so technically genderless, it just gets hard to keep referring to them as neutral.

*zooms by on jetbike and smacks TS in the back of the head as she goes by*

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I thought you Dark Eldar were open minded? [Raises eyebrow]

And Perron is a Keeper of Secret, so technically genderless, it just gets hard to keep referring to them as neutral.

Open minded? Sort of... I only like torturing spending time with women...

Oh really. [Makes mental note to goose TS later]

...This is either a trust exercise of the robot has gone to sleep. [Looks at drone]

Your results have been processed, and I have designed a rehabilitation plan for you. Please remove the flowers from the receptacle carefully. For our new exercise, I will lower myself to ground level. Please grab on to the Shielded Trust Rail on top of me, and carefully place your feet in the indentations on either side of it, so that you will be standing on me.
You know, why would you torture women? That wouldn't exactly be any fun for them at all. What's the point in one-sidedness?
*Looks to WK for support*

Dark Eldar as expected. just as messed up as WK head showed me they where....

your just fethed up.

Wait, I was being tested? [Looks uneasy]

Uh. [Takes flowers] ...? [Hands them to Kimmy who looks delighted]

[Does as instructed and closes eyes in anticipation of being hurt]

Thank you for your compliance. As a reward for your prompt compliance, you will be rewarded after this test.
In this test, I will hover up to -50 METERS- in height. When the buzzer sounds, please let go of the rail.
Oh, by the way, I designed those things to help schoolchildren read. They're not homicidal, suicidal, xenocidal, genocidal, or omnicidal in any way, shape or form. Just follow its instructions, and you should be fine.

... [Winces and grips rail] F-fine.

*Rises into the air*
...
...
...
BZZZZZZZZT!

*teleports out of secret room with dirty dishes*

Thanks, jhe90! We really enjoyed it!

[Lets go of railing and covers face with arms]

*Badrukk teleports back to secret room as Marla and Murray teleport out*

MURRAY: Meow. (Look at Verviedi)
MARLA: Let's get back to the secret room.

*teleports back into the Room*
Someone call for me?

*Badrukk speaks into vox*

I did not need you, War Kitten.

*Allows BC to fall a few meters, and then catches him in a shield bubble*
*Gently floats to the ground*
Thank you for performing this round of Nonthreatening Rehabilitation Drone testing! Your results will be analyzed and the next round of tests prepared in the near future.
...So are you less afraid of technology now?

...If I say not entirely, do we have to do this again? [Looks around frantically]

Dropping terrified people and puffing them with scents really isn't as reassuring as you think it is.

[Considers] I'm still hooked up to this noosphere and MIU crap, right? Couldn't you just use a consciousness copy to look at the fear, and stop conducting tests?

*Winces*
Well, that would be a good idea.
*Warm sensation spreads through BC as I copy his conciousness over to a modified blank*
So, test him instead?

*looks bored*
*idly begins levitating Verviedi and begins gently spinning him around*

Sure, f-fine. [Backs away until reaching the wall] [Slides down it and sits down] I actually meant digitally rather than physically, but that works too.

*Nonthreatening Rehabilitation Drone leads the blank down a hall and around the corner*
*Looks down at BC*
Are you alright? Did the NRD not demonstrate that it was trustable?

*continues to spin Verviedi around idly*
*begins sharpening Witch Blade in the meantime*

Fear isn't rational.. [Looks embarrassed]
And as of this point I've met significantly more robots capable of killing and maiming me than I have capable of being compassionate.

That's why the Eldar use the soul stones of our fallen in our vehicles and wraith units. They are still capable of kindness, even beyond the grave.
*begins spinning Verviedi around a little faster*

You have? Honestly, the only robots I've encountered... Well, proper robots, that is, are mostly nice people. Some AIs though... Ugh.

*plops down next to BC an looks at him worriedly*

My home world was slaughtered by Necrons, and my first deployment was against a band of Sicarian Ruststalkers.

I'm not machinist, I swear. I just- [Hears screaming from down the hall] [Facepalms]