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[Looks at giggling tent] I think Bennett would disagree with you on that one, Ork...

I'm not really equipped to correctly assess what is most enjoyable in life. I find the idea of company appealing, but more troublesome than being alone.

I'm a political officer, not a marriage counsellor. [Chews end of smoke distractedly]

Well what will you do if you live long enough to retire. ?

Much as the odds are not good, some do reach that age and are retired from the guard/officer corps.
The very luckyl or the very good will live 20-30 years before they are past peak combat status

I'll probably end up pumped full of rejuvenate drugs and cybernetics, so they can carry on using me as a publicity tool until someone accidentally leaves me out in the rain and I rust solid. [Laughs]

... I'm pretty sure I'm right, sadly.

Ahh, today is Valentine's day. One of my favorite Ultraholidays! Time to buy a gift card from SpaceBay and give it to the person I care about most.

They might find another hero in time to replace you. The propoganda machine is very capable of turning a vaguely compatent officer into a war hero. Sounds dark, but it seems one man is but a cog in your giant machine however important.

*sighs*
This universe I've found is dark.

This valentines day cannot be a bad idea!

Indeed! Who is your Valentine, giant floating eyeball? Mine is a secret! I bet none can guess who it is.

Umm, currently my optician. As a giant floating eyeball I need to look after my eye, I'm just a eye!

I don,t need a monicle just yet *happy eye*
Thousands of years old and still good eyesight. And call be sauron, im the corporial form, my body as such was destroyed.

[Looks at TCL] It's Calgar, isn't it.

*Looks legitimately shocked*

HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

*begins inspecting BC*
Hmm. In my medical opinion that hat is ridiculous
*pokes BC's hat before walking off towards 2BJ1*

*looks up at WK as he approaches*

Is there something you want, gue'la?

*begins walking around 2BJ1 inspecting him*
Hmm. Interesting, the beak indicates some relation to an avian species, and the way your joints are arranged indicates that your species is skilled at moving through cover.
*pokes 2BJ1 with a medical instrument*
Hmm. Yes. This will do.
*dove lands on 2BJ1's shoulder*

Kroot hawks are my ancestors. What of it?

*hand drops down to his knife*

I'm not signing up for any experiments.

*releases pheromones into the air, putting the dove to sleep*

I do like your bird though.

*waves 2BJ1's concerns off*
Of course I'm not going to experiment on you! Although, the worst I would do is put the heart of a Loch Ness Baboon into your chest instead of your regular heart. Then I could put in the ubercharger.
*notices the dove has fallen asleep*
Archimedes! Get back here.
*dove jumps back onto my shoulder*

*looks at kroot eyeing up self*

No, .... *summons several elite guard orcs to defend self*
I'm not lunch....

And *mordor troll clad in heavy armour arrives*
Meet my guard troll, bob.

[Growls] It's a hat of office. [Bale eye flashes angrily]
And leave the kroot alone, he doesn't like being touched by people, none of them do.

*walks back over to BC*
Calm down my friend, or I'll have to sedate you, and then give you an "examination"

Do as the commisar says, healer. I'd rather not have to show you the human anatomy with your own body.

*hesitates*

Are you the one who's always following that small ogryn around? He's very protective of his gun, and yells about sandwiches?

Ja, I am. He's actually a very nice man if you get to know him, and as long as you do not touch Sasha.

[Growls and grabs front of WK's lab coat, pulling him to eye level] Threaten me again, and I'll show you what a high powered laser does at close range. It's no keyhole surgery.

Ooc: Yarrick; diplomat.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Growls and grabs front of WK's lab coat, pulling him to eye level] Threaten me again, and I'll show you what a high powered laser does at close range. It's no keyhole surgery.

Ooc: Yarrick; diplomat.

*smiles coldly and gestures for BC to look down*
*Crusader's Crossbow is pointed directly at BC's heart*
At this range I will not miss schweinehund, and this will go through your armor like a hot knife through butter. I do not fear you, and I never will.
*breaks BC's grip and pivots away smoothly*

Nice eye

Still not on fire, but nothings perfect.

*growls and puts a knife against WK's throat*

I haven't had a chance to eat a human in awhile. Don't give me another reason for you to change that.

*elbows 2BJ1 in the throat before leaping through the window*


OOC:
Medic, the diplomat.

*Rests a copy of the Codex Astartes on Viervidi*

THINK HE MIGHT NEED SOME TOILET PAPER WHEN HE WAKES UP!!!

*Looks at WK*

OI! WHO THE BLOODY GAK ARE YOU?!?!? AND WHYS WE ALWAYS GOT A NEW FETHING PERSON HERE EVERYTIME I GET BACK FROM WATCHING 'Blossom'?!?!?!

*Assault cannons start spooling up*


NINJA'D ONCE MORE!!!

*Repressor drives up next to Vanden and I get out*
*Repressor drives off*
*turns to Vanden*
So what's got you so riled up?

NINJAS!!! NINJAS AND FETHING VALENTINES DAY!!!

[Sighs] Just one day without...
[Sighs again and sits down] Forget it.

[BC emerges from tent and hands Yarrick a heart shaped cookie]
Did you wash your hands before handling this?
[BC nods]
...Thank you. [Nibbles cookie and looks contemplative]

I'm aware you're lying, for the record.

I see your back human enjoy valentines day with universes most scary girlfriend?

Suppose ypou could take her out burning heratic and then a dinner at the ferrasian hall after. They anounvced a new floor has opened with fur lined booths and views of the mountains.

Agh, angry marine, angry as normal.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Sighs] Just one day without...
[Sighs again and sits down] Forget it.

[BC emerges from tent and hands Yarrick a heart shaped cookie]
Did you wash your hands before handling this?
[BC nods]
...Thank you. [Nibbles cookie and looks contemplative]

I'm aware you're lying, for the record.

Nice to see you too sir.
*salutes*

OOC: Last character change for a long while, I promise. I actually really like this character.