Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 Seaward wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:
I was being facetious Seaward, though the fact of the matter is that not everyone in this thread is socially well adjusted/confident enough to feel comfortable 'just asking'.

That's probably true. And the key to that is, as I said, to get into a place where they can be confident. If you've got nothing going for you, I'd say ignore the whole chick thing until you actually do. You can turn things around pretty dramatically just by hitting the gym three or four days a week, even if you're not necessarily out of shape. And it's not even about looking better - though you will - it's about feeling better. You're out doing something that you feel results from, thus you'll feel better about yourself, thus you'll be more at ease both alone and in social situations. Same with genuinely working on your career or your education or whatever you've got going on.

It also doesn't hurt to diversify hobbies a little. I nerd out with the best of them, both in tabletop and video games, I've got plenty of obscure interests that few or no women share, and hell, I post on here plenty, which is inherently nerdtastic, but I also make sure I keep up with sailing in the summer and beer league hockey during the winter, among other things. The sailing alone has resulted in more casual, "Hey, could you teach me?"-type requests from women than I can count. If I weren't already in a relationship, that kind of thing could very easily be parlayed into some good times.

Yeah, agreed. Hitting the gym is huge for your confidence (and looks), and hockey certainly doesn't hurt either, theres an entire category of women that dig hockey players (especially hockey players with beards), and they all tend to be exceptionally awesome lol.

You don't even need a gym, i work out on my floor, i get girls who like me skinny but they love it when i work out a little

 MetalOxide wrote:
I see where you are coming from; if the sexual attraction is not there, then the relationship will most likely not work. I don't get the whole 'acting like a man' bit though, I thought that having XY chromosomes made somebody a male, I didn't know that the way you act constitutes manliness.

Your reply says something. Sarcasm is fine as long as it's actually funny.

For example..

"I thought that having XY chromosomes made somebody a male, I didn't know that the way you act constitutes manliness."

That is an example of being passive aggressive. You want to avoid that. It's very negative and unnecessary. The better way to get that same point across would be to say something like..

"I thought having a cock and balls made me a man. I am so pissed at my biology teacher."

See the difference?

Now.. as to your actual question.. Acting like a male doesn't require just having the ole twigs and berries. Behavior matters. Being confident is great for an initial approach in order to get her number. Once you are meeting someone, it's about who you are.

Are you a negative person? Are you argumentative? If so, you need to fix that. It's okay to be a realist and very important to be able to defend your beliefs but no one likes a whiner.. It will make you look like a little boy in her eyes and immature. How you deal with problems when things don't go your way matters.

Put yourself in this situation.. You order food at a restaurant and it comes out completely wrong. Do you..

A) Eat it anyways...
B) Politely tell the waiter the food they brought was wrong. Ask them to fix it.
C) Ask the waiter to fix it and then talk crap about him/her to your date.
D) Cause a scene.

A, C and D all say something negative about you. gak happens and you deal with it and move on. There is no need to blow up over things that are insignificant. People that do are lonely. That doesn't mean you act completely passive and allow bad things to go unchecked as with option A.

What i'm trying to say is that you need to be showing her that you have your gak together. You want to show that you have control over your own life and your behavior says a lot about that. You need to be honest with yourself about your own personal flaws and deal with them. That's what a man would do. A boy wouldn't.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 tau tse tung wrote:
You don't even need a gym, i work out on my floor, i get girls who like me skinny but they love it when i work out a little

Do the P90X program for 3 months. Be dedicated and you'll see results.

 tau tse tung wrote:
You don't even need a gym, i work out on my floor, i get girls who like me skinny but they love it when i work out a little

I don't that the kit, but i used a pull up bar, did push ups and squats for around a month and started getting abs, i went up by 10 each week so by the end of two months i was roughly doing 80 on each. Sadly my workout was killed by

1. Revising for exams.
2. Going to China and having tiles as floors, which if the Chinese see walking on barefoot as bad then i wont to my push ups on it either.

Anyway, it wont take long so i can get back in shape easy.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 tau tse tung wrote:

 tau tse tung wrote:
You don't even need a gym, i work out on my floor, i get girls who like me skinny but they love it when i work out a little

I don't that the kit, but i used a pull up bar, did push ups and squats for around a month and started getting abs, i went up by 10 each week so by the end of two months i was roughly doing 80 on each. Sadly my workout was killed by

1. Revising for exams.
2. Going to China and having tiles as floors, which if the Chinese see walking on barefoot as bad then i wont to my push ups on it either.

Anyway, it wont take long so i can get back in shape easy.

I just looked at the P90x, they overcharge worse than forge world. I did my own workout with a pull up bar that cost around 10 pounds.

Not that I condone this, but if you really want to do P90x, there are ways to get it for free... >.>

but you didn't hear that from me... <.<

chaos0xomega wrote:
Not that I condone this, but if you really want to do P90x, there are ways to get it for free... >.>

but you didn't hear that from me... <.<

Hi, I just met you, and this s crazzzzy.

But my names google, search me baby!

BAHAHAHA, that was amazing.

 tau tse tung wrote:
I just looked at the P90x, they overcharge worse than forge world. I did my own workout with a pull up bar that cost around 10 pounds.

I'm not advocating that you take supplements. The workouts are all over the internet.

And I WOULD recommend finding them and giving it a shot. Follow the routine too.

So, to try and get this thread back on track....

I just had a nice date with someone. What do I do next?

dereksatkinson wrote:

 MetalOxide wrote:
I see where you are coming from; if the sexual attraction is not there, then the relationship will most likely not work. I don't get the whole 'acting like a man' bit though, I thought that having XY chromosomes made somebody a male, I didn't know that the way you act constitutes manliness.

Your reply says something. Sarcasm is fine as long as it's actually funny.

For example..

"I thought that having XY chromosomes made somebody a male, I didn't know that the way you act constitutes manliness."

That is an example of being passive aggressive. You want to avoid that. It's very negative and unnecessary. The better way to get that same point across would be to say something like..

"I thought having a cock and balls made me a man. I am so pissed at my biology teacher."

See the difference?

Now.. as to your actual question.. Acting like a male doesn't require just having the ole twigs and berries. Behavior matters. Being confident is great for an initial approach in order to get her number. Once you are meeting someone, it's about who you are.

Are you a negative person? Are you argumentative? If so, you need to fix that. It's okay to be a realist and very important to be able to defend your beliefs but no one likes a whiner.. It will make you look like a little boy in her eyes and immature. How you deal with problems when things don't go your way matters.

Put yourself in this situation.. You order food at a restaurant and it comes out completely wrong. Do you..

A) Eat it anyways...
B) Politely tell the waiter the food they brought was wrong. Ask them to fix it.
C) Ask the waiter to fix it and then talk crap about him/her to your date.
D) Cause a scene.

A, C and D all say something negative about you. gak happens and you deal with it and move on. There is no need to blow up over things that are insignificant. People that do are lonely. That doesn't mean you act completely passive and allow bad things to go unchecked as with option A.

What i'm trying to say is that you need to be showing her that you have your gak together. You want to show that you have control over your own life and your behavior says a lot about that. You need to be honest with yourself about your own personal flaws and deal with them. That's what a man would do. A boy wouldn't.

Okay, thanks for explaining that for me.

 Easy E wrote:
So, to try and get this thread back on track....

I just had a nice date with someone. What do I do next?

Depends. I presume you're going to want to set up another date with said person (provided they want to of course) but besides that I would recommend eating, sleeping or maybe even taking a dump if you've been holding it in this whole time.

 Easy E wrote:
So, to try and get this thread back on track....

I just had a nice date with someone. What do I do next?

Continue talking to her regularly, either go on another date or just chill at one of your places.

 Easy E wrote:
So, to try and get this thread back on track....

I just had a nice date with someone. What do I do next?

Build a sex dungeon beneath your house and kinda just work up from there.

Gentleman! Guess who just got that kiss!(And lots more)
I initiated the cuddle, she followed suit. As we were leaving for Thai food I stopped her on the stairs. Debated in my mind just to go for it or say something stupid. I said: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" She replied with "kiss back" So I went for it and boom. Her parents love me already. I could see myself getting in a relationship with her.
*leans back in chair* Walking on air boys, walking on air.

I'm also making progress; the corners of my mouth rise slightly whenever I stare at someone I find attractive. I believe I'll be able to smile at them in a few more weeks!

 Avatar 720 wrote:
I'm also making progress; the corners of my mouth rise slightly whenever I stare at someone I find attractive. I believe I'll be able to smile at them in a few more weeks!

They might mistake that for psychopathic tendencies.

If the smiling doesn't do it, then the raincoat and axe might.

Do you think playing 'Hip to be square' in the background would be overkill?

 Avatar 720 wrote:
I'm also making progress; the corners of my mouth rise slightly whenever I stare at someone I find attractive. I believe I'll be able to smile at them in a few more weeks!

That is very good. Do you think you can push it further, and smile within a week ? Also, do you manage to go talk with them, initiate a conversation ?

 Avatar 720 wrote:
If the smiling doesn't do it, then the raincoat and axe might.

Do you think playing 'Hip to be square' in the background would be overkill?

Nah, not at all.

+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."




If you are a skilled conversationalist, or at least mildly entertaining, you should have an easier time creating attraction in a public setting than when you're one-on-one with somebody and you have to TRY. It's a lot easier to be yourself in a group than it is when you're actively trying to be attractive to someone else.

IF there's real attraction, it should be pretty obvious and it'll make your job that much easier when you actually take the girl out on a "date."



PS: Funny story...last night I took home a Tinder girl. 100% Obama-loving liberal hippie girl...peace corps activist, spent time volunteering to help people in Africa and South America...total moonbat liberal. I keep an AR15 rifle next to my bed. Through all of the events of last night and this morning, she didn't even notice it there. Some women are completely oblivious.

Anybody read any books by geoffrey miller? I think this might be more applicable to this group than the general population.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."




If you are a skilled conversationalist, or at least mildly entertaining, you should have an easier time creating attraction in a public setting than when you're one-on-one with somebody and you have to TRY. It's a lot easier to be yourself in a group than it is when you're actively trying to be attractive to someone else.

IF there's real attraction, it should be pretty obvious and it'll make your job that much easier when you actually take the girl out on a "date."



PS: Funny story...last night I took home a Tinder girl. 100% Obama-loving liberal hippie girl...peace corps activist, spent time volunteering to help people in Africa and South America...total moonbat liberal. I keep an AR15 rifle next to my bed. Through all of the events of last night and this morning, she didn't even notice it there. Some women are completely oblivious.

I used meetme for awhile. Works like a charm. Got my last two gfs that way.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."

I have been on 2 dates from online before, both first dates I was so scared about them being not who they say they are and maybe wanting to hurt me. They both turned out pretty good though, I could have been waaaay safer but I don't drive so it was hard to get to the date myself and I had them pick me up. So what you are saying is pretty true, at least for me. I think that is just how it is, I can't think of a way either of them could have made me not nervous on the first date.

 KelseyC wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."

I have been on 2 dates from online before, both first dates I was so scared about them being not who they say they are and maybe wanting to hurt me. They both turned out pretty good though, I could have been waaaay safer but I don't drive so it was hard to get to the date myself and I had them pick me up. So what you are saying is pretty true, at least for me. I think that is just how it is, I can't think of a way either of them could have made me not nervous on the first date.

Talked to what I thought was a girl, turned out to be a guy...
That is what I was scared of and it came to be.

 poppa G wrote:

 KelseyC wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."

I have been on 2 dates from online before, both first dates I was so scared about them being not who they say they are and maybe wanting to hurt me. They both turned out pretty good though, I could have been waaaay safer but I don't drive so it was hard to get to the date myself and I had them pick me up. So what you are saying is pretty true, at least for me. I think that is just how it is, I can't think of a way either of them could have made me not nervous on the first date.

Talked to what I thought was a girl, turned out to be a guy...
That is what I was scared of and it came to be.

I guess that is always something that can happen as well. Most of the people on the site I was on just wanted to meet for a hook up or messaged me just to ask for nude pictures. I can't really decide if my short time with online dating was overall a positive or negative experience.

 KelseyC wrote:

 poppa G wrote:

 KelseyC wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
+1 for Tinder, by the way. If it works in this small town, in a big city you should be able to clean up.

What's worked for me is: don't do a first "date." Girls you meet online may think you're a serial killer. Even if they don't, it's a lot easier to be fun around someone when there's a social vibe.

Make plans with friends and say something like, "I'm going to karaoke with some friends at __________ tonight. You should come by if you aren't doing anything. You don't want to miss my hideous rendition of ________ by _________."

I have been on 2 dates from online before, both first dates I was so scared about them being not who they say they are and maybe wanting to hurt me. They both turned out pretty good though, I could have been waaaay safer but I don't drive so it was hard to get to the date myself and I had them pick me up. So what you are saying is pretty true, at least for me. I think that is just how it is, I can't think of a way either of them could have made me not nervous on the first date.

Talked to what I thought was a girl, turned out to be a guy...
That is what I was scared of and it came to be.

I guess that is always something that can happen as well. Most of the people on the site I was on just wanted to meet for a hook up or messaged me just to ask for nude pictures. I can't really decide if my short time with online dating was overall a positive or negative experience.

That's not an online thing - most guys you would meet at a bar probably would ask you the same thing if they were hiding behind a computer screen.

That is true, it may even be more scary at a bar for me lol I never really go out at all though, which is why I tried the whole online thing.

 KelseyC wrote:
That is true, it may even be more scary at a bar for me lol I never really go out at all though, which is why I tried the whole online thing.

Fair enough. You're missing out though - nothing says romance like, "Hey...want to go have a romp in the bathroom?"

Sounds delightful.

I think I will stick with my staying home and only going out to the FLGS in town.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 KelseyC wrote:
That is true, it may even be more scary at a bar for me lol I never really go out at all though, which is why I tried the whole online thing.

Fair enough. You're missing out though - nothing says romance like, "Hey...want to go have a romp in the bathroom?"

Chains and whips included?