Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

In all honesty, I'm thinking that the actually meeting girls is the hardest part for me.

Especially with the lack of group/wingmen etc.

 Compel wrote:
In all honesty, I'm thinking that the actually meeting girls is the hardest part for me.

Yeah, that is what I meant, but I am afraid it was taken as a snark.

I'm disappointed, it was good snark.

I am not really in a position to be snarky on this topic . And I would not want to anyway.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Bit of an update from my side: I may have finally landed myself an appointment with a special someone.

An appointment? Is your special lady friend... on call shall we say?

Any way the short version was that I was a self centered donkey-cave in high school, like most teenagers really, but I was a true gak. Manners were atrocious, my interaction with other human beings outside my small social groups (one group of nerds and the crew I was a member of) were... poor to say the least. Standoffish, to say the least. It's not shocking girls didn't want much to do with me. Didn't hurt that I was carrying a few extra pounds. I nursed a bit of a grudge about it honestly and I would hazard that that didn't help me much either, going into any type of "sale" with the mindset that the person you're "selling" to is against you and you've lost from the get go (persecution complexes, not the fun guy to hang out with)

So part of the change was just growing up a little bit. A lot of the rest of it came from a talk from the grand master of my martial arts school, the jist of the long speech was to focus on self improvement, and instead of demanding people to want to be around you, make yourself a person people want to be around.

So I pretty much did that. I shaped up in more ways then one, got more social, kinda pulled my head out of my ass, worked on actually being funny instead of the more caustic end of snarky... about that time I enlisted, and had my first serious girlfriend, year or two and some serious running down the road I met my ex-wife and managed to hit it off with her. Paid attention to her, treated her well without demanding anything in return, didn't let her walk all over me or violate my own self respect either and it worked.

I'm not saying change who you are. Nor am I saying enlist in the Marines (seriously though Marine Dress Blues are like the konami code for women) what I am saying is be the best you you can possibly be, and don't let yourself get in the way of that you. Self confidence and everything else, including a girlfriend will follow.

As for how the ex-missus tried to kill me, turns out she was a psycho and tried to put a cast iron skillet through my skull.

Its mostly IRL for me, I dont really like to trust a website with my dating.

Thanks for sharin KM, I can relate right up to the point about attempted murder lol.

As for meeting chicks... yea, I lack the social life and wingmen. Not to say I dont have a life, just not one conducive to meeting viable options. Tinder would, theoretically fix that, and in a way it would/could if I wasnt

A- Evidently extremely shallow and/or want only what I cant have
B - Ridiculously unphotogenic.

poppa G wrote:Well done. May DakkaDakka be your spirit guide through this journey.

KalashnikovMarine wrote:An appointment? Is your special lady friend... on call shall we say?

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Or I may be lying through my teeth; your call.




I'm lying. As much as I'd like it, I still have my own gak to sort out first. =P

I bolded the important part of my post.

Daemonhammer wrote:
Its mostly IRL for me, I don't really like to trust a website with my dating.

Alright, run me through with what you normally do when you talk to the ladies leading up to the point to where you ask for the number. If you're not even getting the number then you're doing something wrong. So allow me and your fellow dakkanauts to analyze what you do so we can try to identify the errors.

Poppa, I think the point is he cant even get that far because he doesnt meet the girls to talk to in the first place.

chaos0xomega wrote:
Thanks for sharin KM, I can relate right up to the point about attempted murder lol.

As for meeting chicks... yea, I lack the social life and wingmen. Not to say I dont have a life, just not one conducive to meeting viable options. Tinder would, theoretically fix that, and in a way it would/could if I wasnt

A- Evidently extremely shallow and/or want only what I cant have
B - Ridiculously unphotogenic.

Ever consider that those Tinder matches probably have single friends?

I'm not saying go meet with girls with that in mind. But the simple truth is that possibilities and your dating network expand dramatically the more people you actually meet.

What would you tell a guy complaining that he doesn't meet many women simultaneously dismissing apparently attractive, available date possibilities? He's working against himself and the mindset has to change, right?

 gorgon wrote:

*snip*

He's working against himself and the mindset has to change, right?

I DONT LIKE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, yes, thats entirely correct, but if the right girl came along I'd get on that ASAP. As for 'friends', I have a policy, don't dip the pen in the company ink... Meeting girls on Tinder to date their hotter friends is just... wrong.

A girl did hit me up and start a convo with me, unfortunately she's from about an hour south of me, and not quite hot enough for me to put the time, effort, and energy of exploring the possibility in, so I kinda let the convo die out.

I think you need to be a bit more realistic dude, not all women are supermodels.

I'm not looking for supermodels (I have a couple matches that already come pretty close to qualifying), just a certain 'look'.

 Corpsesarefun wrote:
I think you need to be a bit more realistic dude, not all women are supermodels.

Also sometimes you find girls in your life that you weren't initially attracted too but then they do something that makes them become sexier, so you're missing out on plenty of other girls if you just go for the ones you find good-looking from the get go.

Maybe try talking to them before outright rejecting them, risk it a little.

 Cheesecat wrote:

 Corpsesarefun wrote:
I think you need to be a bit more realistic dude, not all women are supermodels.

Also sometimes you find girls in your life that you weren't initially attracted too but then they do something that makes them become sexier, so you're missing out on plenty of other girls if you just go for the ones you find good-looking from the get go.

Yes, this was the case with my past couple exes, it didn't end well for me, and as I look back at them, I realize that they were not at all worth the trouble they put me through. If I'm going to have my heart broken and/or be driven slightly insane by a woman, than they damned well better be attractive as hell

On the other hand, the distance factor is certainly a pretty big deal, for me at least.

The sense I got was less, 'she isn't hot enough for me' it was more.... 'If I get into a relationship with her, having to travel an hour (which would probably be talking about £60 per visit to even get there and back, if it was me, theoretically), to see her, it's not really a viable cost/benefit analysis to me. On the other hand, if it was travelling that far to meet say Kate Upton / other-super-attractive-person, I'd probably go for it.

As you can see, I'm a real poet.

General advice: If you like a chick, tell her. Worst she can say is no.

Compel has it.

Its more like its an hour drive (without NJ traffic which is both hazardous to your health and extremely frustrating) to a part of the state that I never go to (unfortunately) because all my friends, families, and hangouts, plus my job, are the opposite way. Just too much of a hassle. On top of that the gas would cost me about $20 per round-trip, which is fine, unless you multiply it out over time... so, shed have to be pretty damned amazing to warrant that amount of effort from me, and while I did enjoy our conversation about Hipster Hitler, there wasn't much there to prompt me into considering anything further.

My curiosity finally broke me, and I got Tinder.

Some of the people I know from HS and have on Facebook really seem to get around going by how many shared friends keep popping up.

I'm not taking it totally seriously though; it's just something to pass the time whilst I'm bored or sitting on the toilet.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
General advice: If you like a chick, tell her. Worst she can say is no.

Or yes... depending on the circumstances that could end up not being a good thing (see also: your ex-wife).


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

I'm not taking it totally seriously though; it's just something to pass the time whilst I'm bored or sitting on the toilet.

Yeah, thats mostly how I use it too... I dont think i've ever spent so much time pooping in my life

 Avatar 720 wrote:
My curiosity finally broke me, and I got Tinder.

Some of the people I know from HS and have on Facebook really seem to get around going by how many shared friends keep popping up.

I'm not taking it totally seriously though; it's just something to pass the time whilst I'm bored or sitting on the toilet.

"Hey beautiful, I came across you while pooping."

Out of curiosity, how many matches are you guys managing per day? I have 27 since sunday evening (and have seemingly swiped the majority of the area), so about 6-7 per, and if I had to guess, about 1% match rate.

So far? None, which is about what I'm looking for. (It's also probably due to the fact that I've only had it for a few hours.)

Though I did come across someone I used to sit next to in a few high school classes. Seeing friends of friends is weird enough without it suggesting people you personally knew.

I think it took about 12 hours before I got a match, but that was also after I swiped through a few hubdred profiles.

I figured out out Chaos' problem.

He lives in Jersey.

Nevermind, woke up this morning to another 6 matches lol, some of them are pretty hot... ;P

 Sasori wrote:
I figured out out Chaos' problem.

He lives in Jersey.

You call that a problem, I call that a blessing.

 poppa G wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
My curiosity finally broke me, and I got Tinder.

Some of the people I know from HS and have on Facebook really seem to get around going by how many shared friends keep popping up.

I'm not taking it totally seriously though; it's just something to pass the time whilst I'm bored or sitting on the toilet.

"Hey beautiful, I came across you while pooping."

Seriously though! Tinder makes a poop absolutely fly by...

Sorry, I've been a bit quiet of late, chaps. I've been getting on with what essentially is the purpose of this thread... Dating! Mixed bag, tbh, but it appears I've met someone that I might quite like to be my girlfriend. Not by accident this time.


I met her whilst pooping.

 Albatross wrote:

 poppa G wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
My curiosity finally broke me, and I got Tinder.

Some of the people I know from HS and have on Facebook really seem to get around going by how many shared friends keep popping up.

I'm not taking it totally seriously though; it's just something to pass the time whilst I'm bored or sitting on the toilet.

"Hey beautiful, I came across you while pooping."

Seriously though! Tinder makes a poop absolutely fly by...

Sorry, I've been a bit quiet of late, chaps. I've been getting on with what essentially is the purpose of this thread... Dating! Mixed bag, tbh, but it appears I've met someone that I might quite like to be my girlfriend. Not by accident this time.


I met her whilst pooping.

Still a better love story than twilight


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Blarg, the one match on Tinder I *really* wanted to meet is just visiting NYC for the weekend from Indiana/Illinois *shudder* Besides the fact that nothing good comes from Illinois, I'm also too busy this weekend >.<