Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 Void__Dragon wrote:
And I'm 5'10" and 250 pounds. While a good deal of it is and has for most of my teenage to adult life been muscle (I have the typical linebacker's build I've been told), I'm still fat and I am well-aware it's often a detriment to my physical attractiveness (Though in my opinion my dashing good-looks, beautiful hair, gorgeous eyes, strong figure and overpowering force of personality compensate for it wonderfully).

At 6'3", 250 pounds isn't hugely fat. Judging by what I assume to be your photo you only look a bit chubby, not as proportionately big as I or hotsauceman. I don't think it's mean to point out to hotsauceman that dropping some pounds would help his chances with women.

Yeah, 6'3" can carry that weight just fine as long as you've got some muscle on you.

 Ketara wrote:

 Albatross wrote:

Yep, pretty much. 6' 3" and some change, if I'm being honest.

Really? I could have sworn you were about 6' 1' when we met, with Matty being a bit shorter than me. My memory is clearly blown already. Time to check into the old folks home...

Yeah, Matty's quite short like, bless him. Still, he's got more kills so I guess it's a wash.

Nope, definitely 6' 3" and some change. Have been my whole adult life. I was even weighed and measured the other week, when I had my 'well man' check. They make you do that gak when you're over 30. As I recall, I was a bit taller than you, but a few inches shorter than notprop, no? Meh, me and Matty had about 10 pints each, who knows what really happened. Matty fell asleep drunk in Warhammer World and I peed up the side of it.

Take THAT, Jervis!




Automatically Appended Next Post:

 trexmeyer wrote:

 Void__Dragon wrote:
And I'm 5'10" and 250 pounds. While a good deal of it is and has for most of my teenage to adult life been muscle (I have the typical linebacker's build I've been told), I'm still fat and I am well-aware it's often a detriment to my physical attractiveness (Though in my opinion my dashing good-looks, beautiful hair, gorgeous eyes, strong figure and overpowering force of personality compensate for it wonderfully).

At 6'3", 250 pounds isn't hugely fat. Judging by what I assume to be your photo you only look a bit chubby, not as proportionately big as I or hotsauceman. I don't think it's mean to point out to hotsauceman that dropping some pounds would help his chances with women.

Yeah, 6'3" can carry that weight just fine as long as you've got some muscle on you.

Yeah, I lift. Still got a bit of a beer-gut, but it's on it's way out, kicking and screaming though it is.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Void__Dragon wrote:

At 6'3", 250 pounds isn't hugely fat. Judging by what I assume to be your photo you only look a bit chubby, not as proportionately big as I or hotsauceman.

CHUBBY!? How dare you, sir?

I DEMAND SATISFACTION!!!!

 Void__Dragon wrote:
And I'm 5'10" and 250 pounds. While a good deal of it is and has for most of my teenage to adult life been muscle (I have the typical linebacker's build I've been told), I'm still fat and I am well-aware it's often a detriment to my physical attractiveness (Though in my opinion my dashing good-looks, beautiful hair, gorgeous eyes, strong figure and overpowering force of personality compensate for it wonderfully).

This kind of attitude is really fun as long as the guy keeps it at least a bit tongue-in-cheek and does not take it into arrogance!

Self-confidence is hot.

5'9" And 105lbs.

I'm thinking of hiring out my metabolism.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
5'9" And 105lbs.

I'm thinking of hiring out my metabolism.

How's that water and cigarettes diet going?

oO

That would absurdly skinny even for a woman and I'm assuming you aren't one...please eat.

5'6" (I may exaggerate my height by an inch or two because girls tend to not like shorter guys) and 135 lb I look permanently 16 despite being 21.

 trexmeyer wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
5'9" And 105lbs.

I'm thinking of hiring out my metabolism.

How's that water and cigarettes diet going?

oO

That would absurdly skinny even for a woman and I'm assuming you aren't one...please eat.

I inherited my godly metabolism from both sides of the family; no male in either family gained much weight until their late twenties-early thirties. Food consumption doesn't affect it.

It did, unfortunately, spawn an ugly anorexia rumour in high school.

I have decent metabolism now thanks to teenage, but it won't keep up forever.

 Ashiraya wrote:


This kind of attitude is really fun as long as the guy keeps it at least a bit tongue-in-cheek and does not take it into arrogance!

Self-confidence is hot.

It can only be arrogance if it isn't 100% true!

It really is (From most girl's perspective anyway, as far as guys go I personally tend to prefer sensitive, shy, fragile flowers). It's probably the single most important quality a guy in search of a girl can have. I mean like, besides lots of money, obviously.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
5'9" And 105lbs.

I'm thinking of hiring out my metabolism.

Nah that's okay.

While it would be good for getting rid of the extra flab, a really high metabolism also makes it harder to build muscle. Nature truly is the great equalizer.

It was neither a yes or a no. She laughed and said I caught her off guard. She thought she annoyed me and I told her I enjoyed working with her. Can't give more detail until IM on a real comp

That is actually not too bad.

Have a double dose of cheers and respect!

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
It was neither a yes or a no. She laughed and said I caught her off guard. She thought she annoyed me and I told her I enjoyed working with her. Can't give more detail until IM on a real comp

Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad, actually. I bet you feel good for asking and not getting shot down in flames, eh?




EXCELSIOR!

 Void__Dragon wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't find you that interesting?

then why does she keep messaging me?

Woohoo, I can post here again!
Sorry, long post incoming as I catch up on some stuff.

 KesaAnna wrote:

Spoiler:

Best short summation of the entire subject I've ever seen :

“What would a culture need to do in order to insure that IN EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE the conception of a child is seen as a blessing and not a tragedy?”
Brief answer: embrace the implications of the belief that the practice sex is good only when welcoming a child is seen as a good.
All other temptations to sex would be seen as manipulations, aided by a culture that stimulates sexual desire toward the end of various types of consumption. "

If that's too short / you missed the point then :

A commercial tells you that you need or should very much want cigarettes or Coca-Cola and you know its silly , and you recognize that someone you don't even know is trying to manipulate you to their ends , and never mind your welfare or anyone elses. They are trying to sell you a dubious IDEA , so you'll buy stuff.
But it's the same here really.
Your life is ---hopefully -- already full of people , family and friends , that you like or even love , like being around , but you don't even consider getting any more out of them than you are already getting , and indeed , clearly see how getting more would be a minus, not a plus. They are 20 years your senior or your junior, they are the same sex and you don't go for that, or its a different species , or it would be incest.
But WHY is this any different ?

And that's the point really : getting something. not " like" or "love" or really any such thing.
It's transforming a person into a consumer item , and not just the other person, but you as well. You shouldn't be surprised then that in the end you both get a raw deal. It's a scheme that maybe benefits the David Rockefeller's and Kim Kardashian's of the world , but that's not you and it's never going to be.

The whole He versus She thing is bullocks. Now that homosexuality is out of the closet you see the exact same thing when it's same-sex. A lot of people getting hurt over no one can really say why , and sure some get lucky, but some win the million dollar lottery too , it's nothing to mold a practical plan around.

I haven't given you any useful advice on how to get a date , but it seems to me it isn't being pointed out nearly often enough that maybe you don't need one and never will.
As I already pointed out, there are people you like being around and who like being around you, who are very useful to you, who you like or even love. But dating never even occurs to you in this context . Indeed , dating would be ludicrous in this context. But maybe its also ludicrous in the other context as well ?

Okay, first thing, you are the one assuming that sex is central here. It is not. Even without sex, it is a pretty different relationship than being just friend, I think. Anyhow, even assuming that this was just about sex, why would you assume manipulation and objectification? Each time I go climbing, I need a partner to belay me, and that I will bailey in return. I could try to manipulate by whatever means people that do not like climbing into belaying me, but usually I try to find someone who likes climbing, who enjoy being with me, with whom I enjoy being, and who will therefore have a good time just like I will. Why would you assume people do differently for sex?

 Pendix wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
And never having had any girlfriend at 27 when basically everyone else had just makes me feel like there is something not normal about me (and not in a good way, obviously).

Ok, I probably don't belong in this thread, but time for an anecdote.

When I was 27 I had never really dated, and believed pretty firmly that no woman would ever be genuinely interested in me. I am now 32, and in a few months will be getting married to a wonderful woman. I've been in the place where a lot of people in this thread are right now, and I can't promise you will find your way out. But if I did; then there is hope for anyone.

Thanks!
Best wish and congratulation for your wedding. If that is not being too intrusive, can I ask you how you met and got to know your wife?

 Albatross wrote:
I just thought it might be interesting to get a little side-discussion going on the issue of Race and Dating: Is it an issue for you? Would you not date someone of a different race (no judgement, just discussion)? Has anyone ever refused to date you on the basis of your race?

No, no and no. It should not come as a surprise, since I mentionned a Korean girl earlier on this thread . Also, Iranian girls!
But really, that is about all races are about: different physical aspect, i.e., more races just mean more different types of beauty, which is awesome.
Culture/ethnicity might play a bigger role, but actually the prospect of learning a new culture is enticing rather than repulsive, really. The thing that could be difficult would be religion. I would have a hard time with someone very religious, I guess.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Reading this thread with you boyz discussing how to get a date makes me wonder if there's a guy out there who is interested in me but who just lacks the courage to enter my line of sight.

Quite likely, I think.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Do you think it will help if I go all sugoii kimochi desu desu ~=^.^=~?

What does that even mean?

 Albatross wrote:
Yeah, I would have thought that was obvious, but hey-ho... Also, I'm pretty sure I just met my future wife tonight. I mean this girl was incredible in every way - smart, funny, nice and insanely hot. We kissed. I literally did this on the way home:

Congrats .

 Medium of Death wrote:

jewels wrote:
Im married now, but back when i was single i HATED it when I found out good guy friends of mine had started out wanting to date me and i never knew.

reason one, because if we have been good friends for a while it makes me second guess the friendship- i think, "oh i thought we were really close...and all those friendship moments we shared were fake because you were just trying to get with me!? why weren't you just upfront to start with?"

reason two, because maybe i would have liked them back but now it is awkward and i just see them as a friend and so we'll never find out what could have happened. And if i didn't like them that way, we could have just gotten that out of the way and went on to be just friends.

It must be devastating to find out people had an interest in you. Allow me to play you a song of solace.

Spoiler:

You do realise that emotions can change towards are person over time, right?

Dude, not cool. She (?) just said how she felt. Disagreeing is okay, but belittling others feeling like that is not cool.

chaos0xomega wrote:
how the hell does she expect me to chat her up/ask her out if she's being such a flake (and a really Basic one at that)?

Are you sure she even wants that? Also, given all you told us about her, are you even sure she can pass the Turing test?
Beware of bot, my friend. On the internet, they are everywhere. Everywhere!

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
What i need to keep saying to myself is "It really isnt going to be as bad as you are imagining it, you are trying just play it safe and you need to stop that"

Seems like you are even shyer than me! I would not have too much trouble asking a girl if she is interested to go watch a movie with me because it is something I do with, well, basically anyone I am interested in befriending, so no big deal. I would have way more trouble with something more explicitly about a romantic relationship, though.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
It was neither a yes or a no. She laughed and said I caught her off guard. She thought she annoyed me and I told her I enjoyed working with her.

Hey, the surprises of miscommunication . So, hopefully you will get to decide on which movie you want to watch and when next time?
.





So, I was back in Grenoble for some time, and I found some animal right activist booth, operated by a bunch of women. Not only did I took advantage of that to learn where I could buy toothpaste not tested on animals (something I had been looking for, for quite some time now ), but it got me thinking, why not joining in? Could be a great way to meet new people, and for once the gender ratio would be very skewed in favor of women, apparently . I am hardly convinced that we could change people's opinion (in my experience, this kind of things just annoy people that are not already convinced, and I am not proselyte vegetarian), but, well, I have been vegetarian for 24 years now, I go trough the trouble of finding non-animal-tested products, I might as well also get some advantages out of it . It is not like it was a totally cynic move, I would actually be happy if we actually manage to convince people.
[Not serious]Also, what could fit better than “dirty unwashed hippie” to go with “FLGS hygiene” [/Not serious]
What do you think, fellow Dakkaites?

chaos0xomega wrote:

 Void__Dragon wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't find you that interesting?

then why does she keep messaging me?

I'm 5'10" and I find the best way to get women, as previously mentioned is giving 0 feths. I have definitely put on some weight though... I miss being able to run. Stupid legs were weak. I looked awesome when I was 19 and running five miles in combat boots a day! Albeit that's what fethed my legs up! But still!

If this going to turn into multiple people posting pics of themselves I will feel obligated to do the same. Still eagerly awaiting Hotsauceman's story, but there's a chance his brass balls grew to an infinite mass that created a black hole by now.

Ok, so I went to go clock out and I saw her walking. I was scared, not wanting to look stupid. But I said "Feth it" and jogged before she got to her ride. the conversation went like this
Me: Hey [Name] can we talk for a moment?
Her: Sure
Me: Would you like to go do something sometime, lunch or something?
Her: *Giggling* Wow, you kinda caught me off guard
Me: Well you seem like a fun person
Her: Really I thought you found me annoying
Me: No I like working with you, you are different from the people I normally know
Her:Well, Maybe
and then she left for her ride. I cant remember if she said maybe, though.

I don't want to be a downer but "maybe's" usually means no for me, but at least you attempted something.

Better to do and die then to never do and live with the questions of what might have been.

I figured as much. Not going to pursue it any more unless she does. But I just feel in high spirits

That's a very positive and mature reaction. I'm impressed. You handled the situation much better than I did with my oneitis and took the outcome like a man.

/respect

The next thing to do would be to plan something to do/somewhere to go, and give it a week. If you hassle her the next day, you look desperate. Give it a week, and then when you get a chance in casual conversation, say something like, 'Hey, you still up for doing something?' If she's decided she's not interested after all, she can come up with an excuse then and bail whilst leaving you both with your dignity.

And Albie, it was hard to tell how tall Matty was exactly, because he kept sagging towards the floor with the amount of drink he had in him! Notprop is BIG though, there's a reason he plays rugby in his spare time. Can't say I'd want to run into him on a rugby field!

Yeah, respect knuckles kiddo. You did good.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I figured as much. Not going to pursue it any more unless she does. But I just feel in high spirits

As well you should. 'Maybe' is not 'no'. It's not 'yes' either mind, but as you describe it, she didn't sound uninterested, just a little surprised and maybe a bit shy.

I bet you feel mega right now, don't you? Enjoy it!

 Ketara wrote:
The next thing to do would be to plan something to do/somewhere to go, and give it a week. If you hassle her the next day, you look desperate. Give it a week, and then when you get a chance in casual conversation, say something like, 'Hey, you still up for doing something?' If she's decided she's not interested after all, she can come up with an excuse then and bail whilst leaving you both with your dignity.

Exactly this, either way you walk away having done something you weren't sure you could do before, and at the worst case you're in a much better position to do it again till it works out.

 Albatross wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I figured as much. Not going to pursue it any more unless she does. But I just feel in high spirits

As well you should. 'Maybe' is not 'no'. It's not 'yes' either mind, but as you describe it, she didn't sound uninterested, just a little surprised and maybe a bit shy.

I bet you feel mega right now, don't you? Enjoy it!

I just feel different now, like I feel like changing alot about me TBH. If I can overcome one of my biggest fears why not anything else?
Im working with her tommorow, mostly alone, and knowig her she might bring it up.

First off; Congrats on having the guts to ask the girl out! Good stuff! Great for your self-confidence. Soon you will be asking girls out left and right!

Now the thing you might not want to hear...Judging from your synopsis of your conversation with her, it looks like she is not interested, and thus I side with Cheesecat. If she said "Well..." and got on her ride, she is not interested and didn't want to say a direct "no". If she said "Well...Maybe" she will also probably be declining. She sounds like she was too caught off guard to make a clear response. Both these replies (as you aren't sure if the "Maybe"-part was also said) do not bode well for you. No doubt she thought about it on her way home, most likely talked to a friend and will probably tell you "no" tomorrow at work. I guess she will use as a reason you two being work-mates or, more likely, be saying....wait for it..."I like you, but only as friends."

I can be wrong ofcourse, but I have enough experience with girls that words like "maybe" do not bode well and are just a friendlier "no".

I didn't reply on the work-relationship-debate earlier in the thread, but asking out co-workers (or worse, getting a relationship with them) 99% of the time, will go bad when you break up, destroying the work-relationship and usually means one of you will have to get another job. But alas, it is now a bit too late for that.

So just expect the worse, then everything can get better tomorrow! Keep us posted.

 Ketara wrote:
The next thing to do would be to plan something to do/somewhere to go, and give it a week. If you hassle her the next day, you look desperate. Give it a week, and then when you get a chance in casual conversation, say something like, 'Hey, you still up for doing something?' If she's decided she's not interested after all, she can come up with an excuse then and bail whilst leaving you both with your dignity.

This is good advice. Just plan something that you want to do anyway about a week from now. Then we you are about to leave work and do that fun thing you were going to do anyway, ask if she wants to come along. If she declines, you just shrug and go have fun. If she agree you smile and go have fun.