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 Low_K wrote:


Now the thing you might not want to hear...Judging from your synopsis of your conversation with her, it looks like she is not interested, and thus I side with Cheesecat. If she said "Well..." and got on her ride, she is not interested and didn't want to say a direct "no". If she said "Well...Maybe" she will also probably be declining. She sounds like she was too caught off guard to make a clear response. Both these replies (as you aren't sure if the "Maybe"-part was also said) do not bode well for you. No doubt she thought about it on her way home, most likely talked to a friend and will probably tell you "no" tomorrow at work. I guess she will use as a reason you two being work-mates or, more likely, be saying....wait for it..."I like you, but only as friends."

I can be wrong ofcourse, but I have enough experience with girls that words like "maybe" do not bode well and are just a friendlier "no".

I didn't reply on the work-relationship-debate earlier in the thread, but asking out co-workers (or worse, getting a relationship with them) 99% of the time, will go bad when you break up, destroying the work-relationship and usually means one of you will have to get another job. But alas, it is now a bit too late for that.

I am assuming, I can hope, but I doupt it will reach anything serious even a date. But I feel like some big things have lifted off my shoulders. When I was doing it it felt cloudy(Maybe because it was overcast and such )
To the second part, im getting my guard card and if I go back it will be as a security guard so meh

And Im not sure what im more Scared of, Yes or No. If it would be a Yes, then I would be on a date, which is again something I have never done

I'm going to chime in with some tactical advice. Back when I was in the dating pool, I usually made my request more specific. The goal is to get to a clear YES or NO, so you're not left hanging.

"Do something sometime"...what does that even mean, really? Share a cigarette out back on break? Go on a multi-week Everest expedition? If the girl is highly interested in you, you still might get the YES from that question. But in many cases she doesn't know you THAT well, and so that question almost drives her to a middling answer. 'Cause it depends what the something and sometime are, right? Plus, I don't think it projects confidence.

Instead, I think it helps to make an offer of an actual date. Suggest what you'll do and a timeframe for doing it. For the what, I usually made it something easy and non-threatening, or (even better) something that I knew she was interested in. I didn't sweat the when so much, because I could usually get a read off her response to that part of the request. IME, most females gave me a qualifier if she was interested but genuinely busy.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy" PERIOD...not interested.
"I'm sorry, I'm busy. But maybe another time?/But that sounds like fun./Etc....interested.


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chaos0xomega wrote:

 Void__Dragon wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't find you that interesting?

then why does she keep messaging me?

I think there's a strong likelihood that she doesn't want to feth you...she only wants to feth WITH you. She might just want attention...but not of the kind you're hoping for.

IME, if something's destined to go somewhere, then it goes there and doesn't sit in limbo.

 gorgon wrote:
I'm going to chime in with some tactical advice. Back when I was in the dating pool, I usually made my request more specific. The goal is to get to a clear YES or NO, so you're not left hanging.

"Do something sometime"...what does that even mean, really? Share a cigarette out back on break? Go on a multi-week Everest expedition? If the girl is highly interested in you, you still might get the YES from that question. But in many cases she doesn't know you THAT well, and so that question almost drives her to a middling answer. 'Cause it depends what the something and sometime are, right? Plus, I don't think it projects confidence.

Instead, I think it helps to make an offer of an actual date. Suggest what you'll do and a timeframe for doing it. For the what, I usually made it something easy and non-threatening, or (even better) something that I knew she was interested in. I didn't sweat the when so much, because I could usually get a read off her response to that part of the request. IME, most females gave me a qualifier if she was interested but genuinely busy.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy" PERIOD...not interested.
"I'm sorry, I'm busy. But maybe another time?/But that sounds like fun./Etc....interested.

Yes, I agree. However at least an approach was made. Now he can tweak it for next time.

I prefer "Hey, let's do X. Would you rather Y-day or Z-day?"


Automatically Appended Next Post:

chaos0xomega wrote:

 Void__Dragon wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't find you that interesting?

then why does she keep messaging me?

I think there's a strong likelihood that she doesn't want to feth you...she only wants to feth WITH you. She might just want attention...but not of the kind you're hoping for.

IME, if something's destined to go somewhere, then it goes there and doesn't sit in limbo.

 Easy E wrote:

 gorgon wrote:
I'm going to chime in with some tactical advice. Back when I was in the dating pool, I usually made my request more specific. The goal is to get to a clear YES or NO, so you're not left hanging.

"Do something sometime"...what does that even mean, really? Share a cigarette out back on break? Go on a multi-week Everest expedition? If the girl is highly interested in you, you still might get the YES from that question. But in many cases she doesn't know you THAT well, and so that question almost drives her to a middling answer. 'Cause it depends what the something and sometime are, right? Plus, I don't think it projects confidence.

Instead, I think it helps to make an offer of an actual date. Suggest what you'll do and a timeframe for doing it. For the what, I usually made it something easy and non-threatening, or (even better) something that I knew she was interested in. I didn't sweat the when so much, because I could usually get a read off her response to that part of the request. IME, most females gave me a qualifier if she was interested but genuinely busy.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy" PERIOD...not interested.
"I'm sorry, I'm busy. But maybe another time?/But that sounds like fun./Etc....interested.

Yes, I agree. However at least an approach was made. Now he can tweak it for next time.

I prefer "Hey, let's do X. Would you rather Y-day or Z-day?"

Oh, no doubt. I wasn't criticizing the attempt. Was more of a "how to do it better next time" comment.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
So, I was back in Grenoble for some time, and I found some animal right activist booth, operated by a bunch of women. Not only did I took advantage of that to learn where I could buy toothpaste not tested on animals (something I had been looking for, for quite some time now ), but it got me thinking, why not joining in? Could be a great way to meet new people, and for once the gender ratio would be very skewed in favor of women, apparently . I am hardly convinced that we could change people's opinion (in my experience, this kind of things just annoy people that are not already convinced, and I am not proselyte vegetarian), but, well, I have been vegetarian for 24 years now, I go trough the trouble of finding non-animal-tested products, I might as well also get some advantages out of it . It is not like it was a totally cynic move, I would actually be happy if we actually manage to convince people.
[Not serious]Also, what could fit better than “dirty unwashed hippie” to go with “FLGS hygiene” [/Not serious]
What do you think, fellow Dakkaites?

So, nobody have any comment on that

Well the Peta girls dont have inhibitions

I guess you are referring to the various PETA video with naked women . Not sure every activist is as good-looking at those, though . Kind of how I sadly do not really look like that .

Just be careful about dating people crazier then you are. It might be fun for a bit, but things will get weird later, so be warned!

hotsauceman1 get on Tinder. Guaranteed you'll meet some cool chicks, and may even catch some tail. Worst case scenario you can up your banter game.

 Barksdale wrote:
hotsauceman1 get on Tinder. Guaranteed you'll meet some cool chicks, and may even catch some tail. Worst case scenario you can up your banter game.

Note: not guaranteed.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

Note: not guaranteed.

If it's even a fraction as good Stateside as it is here the potential is high.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
So, I was back in Grenoble for some time, and I found some animal right activist booth, operated by a bunch of women. Not only did I took advantage of that to learn where I could buy toothpaste not tested on animals (something I had been looking for, for quite some time now ), but it got me thinking, why not joining in? Could be a great way to meet new people, and for once the gender ratio would be very skewed in favor of women, apparently . I am hardly convinced that we could change people's opinion (in my experience, this kind of things just annoy people that are not already convinced, and I am not proselyte vegetarian), but, well, I have been vegetarian for 24 years now, I go trough the trouble of finding non-animal-tested products, I might as well also get some advantages out of it . It is not like it was a totally cynic move, I would actually be happy if we actually manage to convince people.
[Not serious]Also, what could fit better than “dirty unwashed hippie” to go with “FLGS hygiene” [/Not serious]
What do you think, fellow Dakkaites?

So, nobody have any comment on that

Well, speaking from experience; some of these animal-liberation-types can be a bit too much to deal with should you be in a relationship. Maybe if you were as fanatic as they are, it could work, but I would advise against it. Been there, done that. Never again.


Also for everyone else, posting in this thread, looking for advice;

I think the main problem is that we men always want the best looking girls and we don't see that maybe rather overweight girl down the street, who most likely will be much nicer and loyal than that cheerleader-chick. I think most of the people "struggling" with getting a girlfriend are looking at the wrong types. It may sound cheesy, but eventually it will be about how someone is inside, and if that is good it really shouldn't matter what that person looks like. Don't raise the bar too high.

The bullied girl in school, which may not look like Emma Stone, will make a way better potential girlfriend (exceptions possible ofcourse) than the good-looking girl, who does look like Emma Stone, and did the whole football team. Twice. So, try to date someone who probably also has the same troubles of finding a date. Maybe that shy girl in the school-cantine who always eats alone, or the girl in science class (science chicks can be great, good memories) with the glasses. Just try it sometime.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
So, I was back in Grenoble for some time, and I found some animal right activist booth, operated by a bunch of women. Not only did I took advantage of that to learn where I could buy toothpaste not tested on animals (something I had been looking for, for quite some time now ), but it got me thinking, why not joining in? Could be a great way to meet new people, and for once the gender ratio would be very skewed in favor of women, apparently . I am hardly convinced that we could change people's opinion (in my experience, this kind of things just annoy people that are not already convinced, and I am not proselyte vegetarian), but, well, I have been vegetarian for 24 years now, I go trough the trouble of finding non-animal-tested products, I might as well also get some advantages out of it . It is not like it was a totally cynic move, I would actually be happy if we actually manage to convince people.
[Not serious]Also, what could fit better than “dirty unwashed hippie” to go with “FLGS hygiene” [/Not serious]
What do you think, fellow Dakkaites?

So, nobody have any comment on that

Yes, sorry, saw it earlier and meant to comment but was too busy to give it my full attention. I personally think it's an excellent idea, and something other Dakkanauts should look into - using your wider interests as a possible jumping-off point for meeting the opposite sex is just smart. Like reading? Join a book club, there might be chicks there. Enjoy cooking? Take a cookery course, there might be chicks there. Interested in languages? Take a language class, there might be...etc.

Bon chance!

 Barksdale wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

Note: not guaranteed.

If it's even a fraction as good Stateside as it is here the potential is high.

Tinder is fantastic. It's like fishing with hand grenades and then fething the floaters. Seriously...everyone in this thread who is having a hard time finding tail needs to get on that ASAP.

As Dakka's resident 'exception that proves the rule' on nearly everything happiness-based, Tinder has provided me with little more than something to do on the karzi.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
As Dakka's resident 'exception that proves the rule' on nearly everything happiness-based, Tinder has provided me with little more than something to do on the karzi.

That's something some women are into also.

Barksdale wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

Note: not guaranteed.

If it's even a fraction as good Stateside as it is here the potential is high.

Not in this situation. Leave it at that.

NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 Barksdale wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

Note: not guaranteed.

If it's even a fraction as good Stateside as it is here the potential is high.

Tinder is fantastic. It's like fishing with hand grenades and then fething the floaters. Seriously...everyone in this thread who is having a hard time finding tail needs to get on that ASAP.

Yeah, it's a great and all. Absurdly easy. I arranged four "dates" over the week or so I used it and opted to cancel them all.

If you want casual sex and don't have a specific type it is great. Otherwise complete waste of time.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Tinder is fantastic. It's like fishing with hand grenades and then fething the floaters.

And the award for "Manliest Metaphor" goes to..

 trexmeyer wrote:


If you want casual sex

Spoiler:

I personally find that beyond fething disgusting

and don't have a specific type

Spoiler:

good luck finding cute Asian girls or white brunettes in this city

it is great. Otherwise complete waste of time.

3 out of the last 5 Tindersloots that fixed my bayonet were brunette white girls...one blonde and one redhead. I guess it just depends where you're located. The Dayton area has been fairly lucrative, though with a lower population of brunettes and far more blondes, and my usual location in MI yields almost entirely brunettes.


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 BlaxicanX wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Tinder is fantastic. It's like fishing with hand grenades and then fething the floaters.

And the award for "Manliest Metaphor" goes to..

Haha thanks bro...somebody had to inject something pleasant into this thread. It was turning into a Tom Hanks movie.

I'm not sure if the recent turn of conversation bums me out or if it gives me infinite possibility for the future.

Something about "tindersloots that fixed by bayonet" feels more empty than not though. I think I'll keep with my current strategy of rescuing puppies from burning buildings. Blind puppies, specifically. Like Colt 45, works every time.

It is empty and not really surprising coming from Nuggz.

Although, Something may not have mnetioned, because I jogged to her, I was breathing havily.
Oh well. I will tell you guys what happened tommorow

 daedalus wrote:
I'm not sure if the recent turn of conversation bums me out or if it gives me infinite possibility for the future.

Something about "tindersloots that fixed by bayonet" feels more empty than not though. I think I'll keep with my current strategy of rescuing puppies from burning buildings. Blind puppies, specifically. Like Colt 45, works every time.

To be fair, I'm now dating a woman who is stimulating to me intellectually, emotionally, and...yes...sexually. We are both academics and professionals, and we have an amazing time together. No, I didn't meet her on Tinder.

...but I had a hell of a lot of fun on Tinder before I met her, so don't write it off.


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 trexmeyer wrote:
It is empty and not really surprising coming from Nuggz.

Brah...I too hail from the Misc crew. I'm pretty sure my attitude toward Tinder girls is equaled if not surpassed in that crowd.

Actually I said that because you're 30+, single, and ex military. I've yet to meet one guy like that who didn't love smashing randoms. (excluding guys over 50ish)

Misc is mainly just FAs anyways.

Tinder isn't used often out here where I am it seems.

 Void__Dragon wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:

 Void__Dragon wrote:
Maybe she just doesn't find you that interesting?

then why does she keep messaging me?

well... gak...

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:


I'm 5'10" and I find the best way to get women, as previously mentioned is giving 0 feths. I have definitely put on some weight though... I miss being able to run. Stupid legs were weak. I looked awesome when I was 19 and running five miles in combat boots a day! Albeit that's what fethed my legs up! But still!

somehow i always pictured you as bein a tall lanky dude that was deceptively strong.

I think there's a strong likelihood that she doesn't want to feth you...she only wants to feth WITH you. She might just want attention...but not of the kind you're hoping for.

IME, if something's destined to go somewhere, then it goes there and doesn't sit in limbo.

Im inclined to agree, though she did follow up earlier this evening, turns out shes a software developer launching a new social media site in 2-3 weeks and has been working nonstop in the final stretch, etc.

As for Tinder it seems to only really pay off in major metro areas, all my matches are in fething NYC or Filthadelphia, generally not interested in that nonsense

 Nevelon wrote:
Just be careful about dating people crazier then you are. It might be fun for a bit, but things will get weird later, so be warned!

I will look for the least crazy, I know I am in no way prepared to handle the most crazy.

 Low_K wrote:
Well, speaking from experience; some of these animal-liberation-types can be a bit too much to deal with should you be in a relationship. Maybe if you were as fanatic as they are, it could work, but I would advise against it. Been there, done that. Never again.

Is there a story waiting to be told here? You got me interested.

 Low_K wrote:
I think the main problem is that we men always want the best looking girls and we don't see that maybe rather overweight girl down the street, who most likely will be much nicer and loyal than that cheerleader-chick. I think most of the people "struggling" with getting a girlfriend are looking at the wrong types. It may sound cheesy, but eventually it will be about how someone is inside, and if that is good it really shouldn't matter what that person looks like. Don't raise the bar too high.

When I was in CPGE (French school system, from 18 to 20, preparing for competitive exams after the second year), I had a crush on a girl that was anorexic, and very thin. Not “supermodel slim”, more like you can see the shape of her bones. I cannot really pinpoint why I was attracted to her, but it clearly was not her handsome look. We did not date not because she refused, but because I never asked, or even went to speak to her specifically, actually .

 Albatross wrote:
Yes, sorry, saw it earlier and meant to comment but was too busy to give it my full attention. I personally think it's an excellent idea, and something other Dakkanauts should look into - using your wider interests as a possible jumping-off point for meeting the opposite sex is just smart. Like reading? Join a book club, there might be chicks there. Enjoy cooking? Take a cookery course, there might be chicks there. Interested in languages? Take a language class, there might be...etc.

Bon chance!

Thanks.

 trexmeyer wrote:
Misc is mainly just FAs anyways.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Brah...I too hail from the Misc crew. I'm pretty sure my attitude toward Tinder girls is equaled if not surpassed in that crowd.

I have absolutely no idea what you are speaking about. Misc? FA?

Bodybuilding forum talk. Google is your friend.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 Low_K wrote:
Well, speaking from experience; some of these animal-liberation-types can be a bit too much to deal with should you be in a relationship. Maybe if you were as fanatic as they are, it could work, but I would advise against it. Been there, done that. Never again.

Is there a story waiting to be told here? You got me interested.

Sure, a story cannot hurt. Only to warn people that some animal-liberation-types can be quite the handful. Be warned.

I will do a quick introduction as to scetch the situation back then. And to paint a picture of me where I come from with my advice.

It was the mid-nineties. I was a Rat back then. A Rat with a capitol "R". I looked like Edward Furlong (the kid from the Terminator films) only taller. This was in my advantage as back then most girls thought he was rather hot. Funny fact; I saw Edward Furlong recently in a movie and I still look like him, as we both gained some pounds!

Anyway, I did everyone back then with breasts and a heartbeat. My favourite technique to get some was through massaging. Girls really dig that. Offer a girl a friendly massage. This will mean she has to take off her top. Start massaging, then start complaining that you cannot massage properly. She (most of the time) loosen/takes off her bra. After that, just keep massaging and, if you are feeling lucky, only some blowing across her back (as her back is wet from massage oil) will most likely get you the jackpot. I must say that this isn't a guarantee though, but the worst which happened was her saying "Knock it off!". That was seldom though.

I am drifting from the original story, as the massage-technique was not used with the animal-liberation-girl (or ALG). She too started as a one-night stand after some night in the bar. The sex was good, so I decided to let her stay for a bit (instead of asking her to leave the next morning), as I usually did until I could get another girl. It all started out fine. Then we went out for dinner one time. This was one of the worst evenings of the "relationship". She nagged at me for ordering meat. She then started harrassing the waiter if the meat was from animals who had a good life before they landed in the kitchen on a plate. I am sure the cook spit in her salad. Positive! She did keep nagging and we rushed through dinner. Nuff said, we had a big fight afterwards, as "I pity the fool who nags about my meat!". After a few days she went to some gathering of her fellow pale-skinned animal-liberators. Some of them are outright scary as they value animal lives over human life. At this time I realised I needed to get rid of this girl a.s.a.p. So I broke up. Or at least, I tried to. She totally lost it! She started cutting herself and threatening to kill herself. She called me at the most crazy times during the night and appeared at my front door crying. this went on for a couple of weeks. Luckily she got into another relationship some time later and I never saw her again. Still wonder what has become of her though, but that was the last time that I ever dated an ALG. Maybe I was very unlucky, but the combination of the ALG and her friends and the psychopathic behaviour has maybe clouded my judgement. Beware!

In "Ye Olde Days" I usually had girls with problems as I always tried to help them with my amateur-psychologist skills (this is also a good "dating" technique). You will be trusted very fast when you just talk without (this is very important) wanting to want more. This will forge a very strong band between you two which can eventually lead to a relationship. This is the long way to relationships though as this can take quite a while.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
When I was in CPGE (French school system, from 18 to 20, preparing for competitive exams after the second year), I had a crush on a girl that was anorexic, and very thin. Not “supermodel slim”, more like you can see the shape of her bones. I cannot really pinpoint why I was attracted to her, but it clearly was not her handsome look. We did not date not because she refused, but because I never asked, or even went to speak to her specifically, actually .

Sometimes we just don't know why we are attracted to some girls. Yet, as she had anorexia, she probably would have said "yes" should you have asked, as no one ever asks her out most likely as most people are "scared" of these girls. I would've gone for her in a minute back in the day, only to try to get them off the anorexia. Ofcourse having sex in the meantime, as, I still was a Rat.

I must say that I am with the same girl for about 8 years now (turned 40 this year) with two steph-daughters. So there is hope, Rattiness passes.

.............or does it?

 Medium of Death wrote:
Bodybuilding forum talk. Google is your friend.

Thanks.

 Low_K wrote:
I was a Rat back then. A Rat with a capitol "R".

I guess I learned a new word today. Or, rather, a new slang meaning to a word I already knew . So, someone who wants to have a lot of casual sex with a lot of different women is called a rat.
(Just making this obvious because English is not my first language, and I do not want to get my slang all wrong)

 Low_K wrote:
Then we went out for dinner one time. This was one of the worst evenings of the "relationship". She nagged at me for ordering meat. She then started harrassing the waiter if the meat was from animals who had a good life before they landed in the kitchen on a plate. I am sure the cook spit in her salad. Positive! She did keep nagging and we rushed through dinner.

Here, I have the advantage of being vegetarian myself. I could get in trouble for cheese and other dairy products or eggs .

 Low_K wrote:
After a few days she went to some gathering of her fellow pale-skinned animal-liberators.

As I mentioned, that was basically where I planed to meet girls . Those I have seen seemed quite alright, not especially pale. But apart from that small booth, I never saw any animal rights activists gathering.

 Low_K wrote:
Some of them are outright scary as they value animal lives over human life.

Some people kind of loose all sense of measure. Seen many on the internet. I am all for animal rights, but I still value human life over another animal life, if in the sad position where I have to choose one over the other.

 Low_K wrote:
She totally lost it! She started cutting herself and threatening to kill herself. She called me at the most crazy times during the night and appeared at my front door crying. this went on for a couple of weeks.

That is scary. I would not like to be in that position.

 Low_K wrote:
Yet, as she had anorexia, she probably would have said "yes" should you have asked, as no one ever asks her out most likely as most people are "scared" of these girls.

Well, maybe. I am not sure it is as simple as “Few people are asking me so I will just take the first one who does”. I am also not sure how much ready I was at that time.
Still, she was a very nice person and I regret not having talked more with her now. I tried to contact her some time ago, but was unable to.